Tw S3lf Harm - Tumblr Posts

☆ tiny scratches sfx practice under cut ☆

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◇ 1st one was my arm, next was my ankle-ish ◇

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♡im also binging rn so eh, yay. Gonna work out hard tmrw and f4st the next day in prep for hoco. Might chew n spit my box of cookies tnt♡

Tw: suicidal idealation, sh, sui

Nobody noticed when I stopped including myself in the photos. When I stopped trying to stand out in the group. They didn't notice that I started to fade into the background more and more. It was like I wasn't even there.

Every time I've cried it's been alone. Not once has someone helped me through a panic attack. There is no one here who will help me. I am alone. Why won't anybody help me? I've done everything that I can to save them.

I can't seem to let them go though. Especially the one who hurts me the most. Because even though he makes me feel like I don't matter and am just annoying, he's the only one who really makes me happy. So when he is nice to me my heart is so happy even though I know it won't last and that he'll be back to acting too good for me soon.

But he just doesn't get it. When I message you something random, that's my desperate cry for a distraction. I need help, but he pops in and out of the conversation and then I know that I mean nothing to the person who is my world. And then I cry. I cry until I can't breath because I need him but he doesn't even want me.

Nobody wants me.

I'm so tired. I can't keep going like this. I need someone to love. Someone to give me something to live for. But I don't have that.

So I live only because I have failed to die. I don't take the pills because I can't move my body. I just stare at the wall and feel the tears fall. I give myself drawings made of scars because I don't deserve to have something pretty without pain.

Maybe someday soon I'll finally get the courage.

I'm really annoyed rn and I don't want to actually fix my problems so vent post :P writing this to a certain person who doesn't actually gaf about me

You got mad at me for not taking care of my health. I think it's fucking hilarious that you chose to care now. What is it convenient now?

Why couldn't you care every time that I messaged you to distract myself from the pile of pills in my hands and the blade pressed against my skin. No when I needed you most what you did give was too little too late.

But now you care. Now you're mad at me for being dismissive of my health. I think it's fucking hilarious. Why would I care if I can't eat or drink without chest pains? I'm fucking suicidal! If my body takes itself out good for me! Then I don't have to do it myself.

You're worried sick about me but you don't notice or care that I didn't eat anything at lunch and I was shaking after. When you know that Ive had multiple eating disorders. Bullshit.

Goddammit if you were actually worried you'd listen to me when I talked instead of just scoffing at me when I tell you that no, I haven't scheduled a doctor's appointment. Cause doctors have failed me so many times that I don't trust them anymore and I told you this but you didn't listen. Because doctors are there to help you say. Maybe they help you but I've been let down time and time again. So yeah I hate doctors. I'm allowed to have an opinion even if it's different from yours.

Y'know I think it's really fuckin shitty of you the way you treat me. Even if someone I hated told me the things I told you I'd still look out for them, but you don't do that and we're supposed to be friends.

You're soooo fuckin sad when I tell you that I almost committed suicide once, but you don't notice the sad smile I give when people talk about suicide. When someone told a story about the dream they had about suicide notes I say there knowing I had mine written. They're fucking ready to go when I am. It's soo obvious that something is seriously wrong. I am showing all the signs.

You just don't care to help me

At least not in the way I need

You just wanna preach your bullshit so you can be the winner and the one who was fucking right. You don't care about what I actually need. No one fucking does. I'm so sick of lectures when I just really need a hug but I have no one I can hug without raising suspicion. And if I raise suspicion there goes my plans and way out.

Fuck this I'm so sick of it.

I would never do this to you.

I think it's so much worse this time because for the first time, I had someone. I had someone who I wanted to tell everything and do everything with anf it was reciprocated... For a bit.

But now, that's gone, but it feels like a new and beautiful path to happiness was unlocked and I got to see it and experience how wonderful it was, but now its gone. And even though it hurt so bad most of the time that good times were euphoric.

Nothing can compare to it now. So everything feels hollow and empty.

And I can't get it back because there is not a single soul on this god forsaken earth that would ever want me. Even the one who claimed to like all my odd habits left me and hasn't looked back once or regretted it.

I was just that easy to leave apparently.

But now I wish for a type of love that I will never have because who could ever love me? I sit here aching and so so empty.

I think it might've been better to never love at all. To not have any of these memories of a happiness I'll never have again.

I think it would hurt a lot less that way.

Because I know I gave it everything. It consumed my whole heart and soul and I had so much love to give because finally someone chose me! But now that love has nowhere to go because I got left out of nowhere like there was never a reason to stay.

So now I sit with all that love that I never got to give and it eats me alive. It feels like poison. The empty ache never leaves and when I finally make one step of progress I get sent right back again. And then suddenly there's more poison. Because my hope still hasn't gone away. It stupid and oh so painful but I still hope with my whole heart that I'd be enough to come back for, but I keep getting hurt time and time again.

And I can't stop myself. I go back willingly the second you show interest in me. Because my pride is already gone. My mind is already a mess, you can't possibly ruin it more than you already have.

I have nothing to lose and everything to gain, but everytime that I do gain something, I lose it right away. And I face pain all over again because I never thought that the world could be that cruel. I didn't think I would lose my only lifeline once again, but I should've learned by now.

No one was ever going to save me. They're just going to watch me flail and struggle as I try to find even the most insignificant reason to live. And then they cruely yank it away from me.

I can't keep going like this.

It would be easier just to drown.

TW !!! SELF HARM !!

Loki x reader/you

Gender neutral !!

I recently relapsed and started to self harm again, one of the many reasons for my absence. I hope this lil fluff will help anyone else who is going through the same thing.

(P.S., this is definitely halfassed and I apologize for that)

You heard the subtle knocks on the door and assumed it was your beloved. On that assumption, you instinctively pulled your sleeves up, hiding old scars and the new. You had a major depressive episode the other night while he was asleep, causing you to relapse and sadly, cut again. He knew about your past and never held it above your head or pitied you, which you greatly appreciated.

“My love?” He gently opened the door, eventually sneaking in and closing the door behind him. You let out a quaint ‘mhm’ in response as you continued to read your book on your bed. He cautiously accompanied you on the bed and laid his hand on yours. To that you closed your book, making sure to dog-ear the page to not lose your spot. You gave Loki your full and undivided attention,to which he responded with nothing but silence.

“Is everything alright?” He said, breaking the silence after a short period of time. He’s brows were furrowed as he scanned your face for an expression. You nodded, using your other hand to fidget with the hem of your sleeve. You couldn’t bear the eye contact.

“Alright, I heard you crying in the bathroom last night, I just wanted to make sure everything was okay.” He rubbed the top of your hand gently, softening his eyebrows. After a few minutes of awkward silence, you pulled your hand out from underneath his and hesitantly pulled your sleeve up, revealing the fresh cuts. You knew you could trust him, and you knew he would do anything to help you. He loved you more than life itself. Your eyes stayed glued to your scars, terrified of the disapproval on his face. But that wasn’t the case. He lifted your wrist up to his lips and placed gentle kisses on each of your scars. When he was finished, he brought his hand up to your cheek, pulling you closer and giving you a kiss on the cheek. After he pulled back he started to gently rub your cheek.

“You know I love you, correct?” He asked. You smiled, which caused him to smile. You put your hand over his and rubbed it softly with your finger tips.

“Yes, I’m just not convinced you love me more than I love you.”

I kinda want to develop myself by self-destruction

Read translated part of full manual how to kill yourself by Wataru Tsurumi

I liked it

If you have some materials like this pls send me, i'm collecting such information

i was getting better.

i was getting better.

i was wrong.

i was wrong.

i was wrong.

"if you are not recovering you are dying"

Well can we speed this shit up pls?

i have a vent blog that i could be posting on but i don’t really care. i feel like i’m dying rn. i don’t know what happened. i had a coffee this morning and then next thing i know i’m shaking and frantically scribbling biblical angel designs in my science notes. i had a horrible relapse and tried to make myself bleed for the hell of it. i didn’t end up doing that but still. i don’t have any intent of cutting off my life subscription btw. but when my dad hit the middle thing in the car (dashboard?) i went into a full blown panic because once when i was a kid he broke my lampshade for accidentally hitting it and i didn’t even move i was just yelling in distress his voice was making me upset more

no point of this post. just a frantic life update. i’m gonna take a bath, wash my face, and drink some water

I fucking hate myself, I want to feel happy for once.

One moment I’ll be super happy, then the next, I’ll be so fucking sad, that I can’t move.

Stupid fucking meds aren’t working anymore, but I don’t care anymore.

I just want to be done with everything.

I wouldn’t be yelled at anymore if I was dead

LITERALLY. my beans don’t even ache that much like what

styros on the arm ache so bad and for what

like the only thing that will ever be posted on tjis acc apparently but STILL OH MY GOD ILL NEVER GET OVER THIS /POS

I JUST KEDP LOOKIGN AT IT ITS SO GOOD BRO IS MOT DOING GOOD

I read an amazingly well-written DBL fic by @tired-sunny , and I just HAD to draw some fanart for it✨

Artwork and link to fic under the cut for the following trigger warnings!!

TW: CHARACTER S3LF H4RM AND BLOOD!!

- Fanart for The Saiyan In Blue -

To spoil the ending, Shallot’s ok, he’s alive, someone helps him, he’s ok 💙

Sunny, I’ll say it again, your fic made me incredibly emotional, congratulations 👏😭 Totally gonna read it again

i’m not doing bad enough to deserve or need help because i’m happy sometimes and i can usually function “normally”.

but i have cuts covering my arm and i’m eating badly.

but i shouldn’t be doing those things because i should be able to cope and i’m not doing that badly.

but i clearly can’t cope if i’m resulting to these negative coping mechanisms.

but i’m not like going to kms or anything.

but i wouldn’t be complaining if i didn’t wake up tomorrow.

OKAY EVERYONE CUT CARE TIPS:

First off, what kind of cut are we dealing with? Is it an Epi? Styro? Beans?. I’ve only had experience PERSONALLY with the first two but I’m gonna relay tips for the others

General things you need:

Blood Rag; a rag that you can use to clean up/soak up blood or hold on the wound until it stops bleeding. NEVER use toilet paper or paper towels!!! This can break off in the wound and cause infections. Cut up an old shirt if you have to. if you can’t, use paper towels as a last resort. Always clean your Blood Rags before and after use. hydrogen peroxide and alcohol, rinse with water.

Topicals; this can be antibiotic ointments, wound cleaning spray, isopropyl alcohol. Try to have some antibiotic ointment on hand for general and sh use.

Bandages; to close or cover the wound. Bandaids work fine if it’s tiny, try not to get the adhesive on the wound. If it’s bigger try to get some gauze pads. Steri-strips are a need if you do beans.

CUT CARE FOR DIFFERENT CUTS:

Epis: clean with alcohol or hydrogen peroxide and rinse with water, put a bandaid on and ointment if you need. These are basically cat scratches and need the least amount of attention.

Styros: clean with hydrogen peroxide, it’s not as harsh as alcohol. Apply ointment, depending on size of styro use big bandage or small gauze pad.

Beans: clean the OUTSIDE with hydrogen peroxide, do not clean the inside of the wound! This can cause worse damage. Apply ointment/wound care supplies and use a steri-strip to close the wound. If you don’t have any, take a bandaid and put the adhesive on one side of the wound and pull as you put it on the other side. Use multiple to secure it. Cover with gauze pad if necessary.

Anything below: same as with beans but this time you need to go to the hospital. No you can’t let this heal on it’s own you need stitches.

And that’s it! I’ll update with more information and tips if needed.

Come fix me :33

Guys im new to 3d tumblr and I need some advice ASAP.

I’ve lost loads of weight recently and my mum is starting to notice and I think she’s going to take me to get weighed at the doctors at some point. PLEASE GIVE ME ADVICE ON HOW TO WEIGH MORE AT THE DOCTORS SHE CANT KNOW HOW MUCH WEIGHT IVE LOST!! I don’t have any weights or anything I can put in my pockets so I might just stuff my pockets with stones and shit and hope that makes a difference???

Why tf do I only loose weight on places like I LIKE the curves at?? My bra size keeps getting smaller and my ass is half the size yet for some reason my stomach is still FUCKING HUGE??

Anyone know anything I can do to stop this or do I just need to keep losing more weight to make my stomach flat??

Genuinely one of the main reasons I want to loose weight is so when I get a bf I won’t need to worry about my thighs being bigger than his, or like how I want to be light and dainty enough for him to pick me up effortlessly. Just imagine his embarrassing it would be to be too fat for that :(((