M3ansp0 - Tumblr Posts

Food Log: Aug. 26, 2024

Breakfast:

Nothing (0cal)

Total: 0cals

Lunch:

Two pieces of gum (10cal)

Total: 10cals

Dinner:

2 Carne asada tacos (1000)

Total: 1000cals

Snack:

7 up (88cal)

Total: 88cal

Exercise:

5,769 steps (190cals)

Total burned: 190cals

Todays total: 908 cals

Notes:

I only ate two of the tacos bc I got full so I put the other two away but I’m still counting it as 1000 bc I didn’t measure nothing so I’d rather over estimate. Today was my first day of school n overall pretty good minus being late to my first two classes n almost comin to school without my face on. I like being able to fast n keep busy but I wanna be able to take care of my gut still and not have brain fog so I’ll try to eat better while still staying in my limit.

i’ve tried not caring these past two days, thinking “i can eat whatever i want, it doesn’t matter if im not the skinniest” but then i look in the mirror and feel absolutely disgusted.

i do need to be skinniest. i need to get my head in the game and work to be the skinniest. no more “i just won’t eat later” no. we are fasting and we are working out. i will be the skinniest.

why cant i look like this?? all i want is to be beautiful and thin. i hate the way i look im buying a scale soon so i can see my progress i've noticed a little but its not enough. its never enough.

did i just find a boy that doesn’t judge my mental problems or my ed???? (still wont make me stop i threw up loads before we hung out today:p)

*slight face reveal lolol*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just wanted to document the look of sickness. in some weird way i really enjoy how the sick look looks and it overall makes me feel better mentally i love how thinner my arms look compared to the outside pic but i strive to be nothing thin.

so close to that perfect fall body but i need to try harder.

just left my psychiatrist in which they took my weight and since the last time ive been there i lost 12 pounds eeekejejehehd im so fucking happy

body check:pppp

cw: 114.5lbs

Goals

50 reasons to lose weight ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

so your s/o can pick you up effortlessly

free piggy back rides from your friends

so you don't have to worry about being too heavy when you sit in someone's lap

so people will lend you their clothes (and they'll be too big on you)

when people buy you clothes, they'll get the smallest size (and worry that a size S might be too big)

someone from a k-beauty youtube video said "losing weight makes you 10x prettier"

to fit into petite and aesthetic clothes (eg brandy melville)

so you don't have the gross feeling of your skin touching (thighs rubbing together, stomach rolls, etc)

to look effortlessly beautiful doing anything

you'll sweat less

to look good in tight clothes

to be able to wear revealing outfits and still look cute

you'll look cute and small in oversized clothes, instead of looking bigger

so you can wear a bikini

to feel more confident

people will treat you better

if you stick to it and work hard to lose the weight, then you'll be better than everyone who has failed to do so. you're willpower and self-control will be admired and envied by your peers

people will pay more attention to you

people will worry and care about you more

for the skinny/pretty privilege

to make people jealous of you

to prove that you can

to look good wearing anything, even if it isn't a good outfit

so you won't be anxious about being weighed at the doctor's

to look prettier in pictures

so you can go clothes shopping without being insecure

no more dressing room breakdowns

so your s/o can fit their fingers around your wrists and their hands around your thighs (or so you can do it yourself)

for the thigh gap (duh)

to be small enough to use your s/o as a bed

so your s/o can easily lift you with one hand

so your sh scars (if you have any) look more "aesthetic" (idrk how to explain it, but scars always look prettier on thinner limbs

to be desirable

you'll have a higher chance of people stopping you on the street for photographs/modeling scouts/etc

to be more attractive

you'll use less products (body wash, lotion) if there's less of you (so you'll end up saving money too!)

people will take you more seriously

you'll be able to move through crowds easier

to boost your self-esteem, feel better about yourself, and be happier

you can purchase the smallest size when shopping online and you won't have to worry about it being too small

to be able to shop at cute online shops that only carry smaller sizes (brandy, yesstyle, other asian stores)

to look good while eating, instead of like a fat, greedy pig...

to finally be in control

so you don't feel jealous/sad when you see other people's bodies/thinspo, because THEY'LL be envying YOU

to have your pics/bodychecks put in a thinspo compilation

to finally feel pretty

to take up less space

to be able to wear low rise bottoms

so you can talk about your weight and not feel ashamed

if you actually stick to it and restrict, your appetite/stomach will be a lot smaller once you reach your ugw, so you'll naturally eat less!!

Things that FUCKING SUCK about being fat:

I can't wrap a regular sized towel completely around myself.

The chafing between my thighs hurts sooo bad.

I can't keep up with my boyfriend when we go out for walks and especially when we go hiking. It's so embarrassing, he literally has to keep stopping and waiting for me to finally catch up.

It's hard finding clothes at the store that actually fit. And I can guarantee, it won't be anything nice either, sweatpants and maybe hoodies..

18" necklaces are chokers on me.

I have to get wide shoes.

Not fitting in socks made out of certain materials, some of them cut into my ankles...

Struggling to fit in high-top sneakers. Forget about calf height boots.

Feeling disgusting for eating in front of people. I know people see me and think "That's why you're fat." "I'm so glad I don't look like that."

Small bathroom stalls can be a nightmare.

I love swimming, but not in front of people.

Feeling insecure and disgusting all the time.

Etc.

I'm soooo tired of being this size, it's time for a change.

Ghostbusters (1984)

9 things that I've learned in the past few years thanks to having ana, mia and binge ed

1. the only way to actually see progress is to be consistent.

the only time I actually saw results was because I kept it straight for 3 months (but then I binged all the weight back, be careful)

2. don't restrict too much or you'll gain all your weight back (TRUST ME).

instead of eating less than 500 cal a day, calculate you average calorie intake online (for me it was around 1500 because I was eating out of emotions) and subtract not more than 300/400 cal. this will also help with the super hunger moments.

**this DOESN'T mean that now you have to take more calories away from your usual intake if you're already restricting, remember that your brain needs at least 500 cals to work, you can also fuck your metabolism up if you eat too less.

3. don't obsess with fasting.

it will simply fuck you up.

you can still do it sometimes, fasting is actually a healthy way to detoxify your body, just don't do it too often (one or two day a month is enough)

4. just don't think about it.

don't obsess, just try to stay on track, try to do this in the most healthy and responsible way possible, everything will be okay.

5. AVOID ZERO CAL DRINKS!!!!!!!!

I know this is shocking, especially because they help to fill up the hunger, but they also cause lots and lots of inflammation, that is exactly what is keeping you bloated and puffy.

If you don't want to avoid it, just try to drink them as little as possible.

6. throwing up on purpose shouldn't even be on your mind.

vomiting causes dehydration, which causes puffiness, bloating, water retention and plenty of other things that you don't want. it also ruin your teeth, your throat, your stomach, your breath will stink.

don't. do. mia.

7. the key to binges is water.

while you're in the middle of a binge remember to keep drinking water, it will fill you up faster and it will help you with your digestion.

8. unresolved freud oral phase? I got you

(if you don't know what the oral phase is look it up, lots of people with binge ed or food addiction have it)

you may find helpful: chewing gum, toothpick, lollipops, brushing your teeth, drinking water, biting something (a pillow for ex).

there is also smoking cigarettes or vaping, and to be honest it helps a lot, especially when you feel the urge to binge or emotional hunger in general, but you have to be careful to not get addicted (even if the 90% of us edblr people already are). just be careful.

9. if you're sick you have to eat.

you can't get better if you're not getting the right nutrients.

that's it.

i need meanspo so bad

hot girl summer is coming 😼😼😼

Thigh gaps. A symbol of grace, self control, and discipline.

The only thing food has done for you is make your clothes a little tighter, fill your stomach of toxic waste , envy those who are perfect, make you imperfect. All of that can change if you drop the food and stave.

Do you think she stuffs her face with fatty foods everyday?

“One more bite” “I’ll start tomorrow” “I can’t fast any longer” “ I will burn it off later”

Drinking, crying and scrolling through Ed not sheeran tmblr is unmatched, specially with my headphones PLS 😫 Lets just ignore how many cals r in this shiz tho ✋

(follow me n ill follow u, I need people to stalk xox)