Tokrev Angst - Tumblr Posts

mitsuya dying but all he can think of how much he regrets it all. he regrets not cooking his sisters lunches, not finishing their new clothes he made for a birthday party that was coming up. he regrets not staying long enough to help hakkai. he regrets too not being able to stay to help mikey, he knows his death will only leave mikey even more broken. mitsuya is usually a calm person. but at his last breath, he was anything but calm, only wanting to turn back time.

— A TORE COPPER COIN, IN THE BACK OF YOUR POCKET —

takeomi akashi x reader x shinichiro sano

angst. +2.5k words. @lostinthe-jojos @saturnmitsuya @souyawn @kallikrein @blondbirb in case you'd like to read it :)

coins always have two sides, heads or tails

there are always two versions for each story. just as the sun spreads its light, the latent darkness that remains hidden, later takes over everything around. what is defined as right, and what is known as wrong. the desperate crying and the constant laughter. good people and the ones that want see you fall to pieces. death and life

whether it was day or night, april or december, in those times of youth that now seem abandoned and marked forever with the traces of tires from multiple motorcycles and cigarette leftovers, they used to fight over everything

every aspect. every joke. every bet

they knew each other since they were infants, after all. always running around, chasing the one after the another

among their inseparable gang, shinichiro always challenged takeomi. and intentionally or not, he always won

from the most insignificant thing with the cheekiest and childish purpose, to the most serious matters about the future of their crescent gang his nature was like that, showing his affection to others in that particular way he could only manage to achieve, carefree, charismatic and noble

-what's so important about winning?- the older sano used to inquire his partner as if it were nothing, looking into his eyes, sideways. akashi's teeth twisted inside his mouth every single time. shinichiro spoke serenely, but to takeomi was a direct scream into his ear, buzzing, deafening. impending defeat. why things always have to be like this?

on one side, akashi was used to make himself look disinterested to his friend antics. the best at hiding his emotions, the best liar, the best at pretending. but deep down inside his guts, in the remotest part of his self, the growing feelings of resentment that took over him, only strengthened with time, wishing to be the winning voice, even if it was just for once

while on the other, resided shinichiro. that even when he shamefully lost in a fight, he owned the victory. when he was silent in an argument, he still had the reason, the upper hand above everyone. all of this unbeknownst to him, actually

heads or tails?

sano was the head after all, the leader, the great, the admirable. takeomi just watched all this happen from afar, second in command. in reality, it never bothered him that much since that was his place from the beginning, he was well aware of it

but he was also a greedy man, money and success ruined him, and he was never good at making decisions. that’s why he kept behind, always behind

he was weak, and he knew it

except that, if there was one thing takeomi longed to be the first to, other than winning stupid games against one of his comrates or some cash in a dangerous entrust. it was to be owner of your desire

exactly, that

it’s always been him and the guys, his crew against tokyo. but with shinichiro, it came you. and you may not be part of the world they both shared, but you were certainly equal in importance. you were always near, shinichiro’s love since middle school, his forever girl and the only thing he ever talked about. the four of them could rely on you anytime, you were just another member

a loving soul that added an undescribable warmth to takeomi’s monotonous life, and you weren’t even his

maybe that was the problem

he doesn’t exactly know when did it all start. sure, since the first moment he saw you, he could tell how alluring you were. shinichiro really scored, a nice smile, a delightful personality, a lovely pair of eyes, pretty hair, pretty body. he was speechless, that you were with a guy like sano? wakasa and benkei weren’t doing any better  

not only that, quite dangerous feelings started to terrorize his mind at night, in the intimacy of his bed, with the moon as his only witness, while he soflty chanted your name before dawn, the forbidden prayers of a hidden sinner

those were the kind of things he started to seriously get worried about

it started innocent, it started subtle

from small gestures, like the blooming tingles he felt creeping in the tip of his fingers whenever he walked near you, and you both accidentaly grazed your hands. it meant nothing to you, but it surely did to him

to the serious issues that got harder him to ignore, to supress

like that one day, when it finally snapped it was pouring, and you were waiting for shinichiro outside of his newly opened store with a small umbrella as your shield, to bring him dinner, since he was staying late to finish the order of a client. but much to your misfortune, he was gone. probably running off to the store to get something he forgot. defeated, on your way home, you found akashi walking under the rain, drenching in his clothes, probably heading to s. s. motors too and when the two of you encountered each other, you decided to keep walking to part ways, not minding the already sopping clothes. both were casually talking with the water falling over yourselves in the middle of some street, when you saw how his hands were trembling, it was obvious, he was not around his usual cloud of smoke because of the weather and he was probably feeling a bit anxious. you were still using your umbrella, so you offered it entirely to him. now completely ruining your clothes in the process. he didn’t even react -what the hell are you doing?- he wasn’t expecting that at all, he is used to be the one who offers himself to others, in many ways more than just getting wet in the rain. he was already soaked, so it was no use -it’s been probably a while since you lighted a cigarette with this rain, so go on. i’ll hold it for you, sorry for not bringing a larger umbrella so we could both fit- and you grinned, inocently

it was such a naive thing, that’s just how you were. an effortlessly beautiful person. for an insignificant moment, you placed him before you, and you stood on the rain, the bento on you bag all wet, so he could smoke and calm himself for a few minutes before arriving home

a rather innecesary and weird thing to do, yes. nonetheless, it spoke a lot about how you were, caring and considerate. that’s why you were with shinichiro, and not him. there was no way he could possibly deserve you

then one night, he passed

and suddenly, on one grey afternoon you had to say goodbye to what remained of shinichiro in this world, and you were numb. you remember akashi waking you up, but you didn’t move. shin was not next to you in bed, how cold. you saw takeomi’s lips move, but you were not able to hear him. you stared at the corner, where some of shinichiro’s things stood, quiet and lonely. he undressed and prepared you to go out, what day was today? where was he taking you?

it was sano’s household, everyone were black dressed, and they all stared at you, faces full of sorrow

takeomi sat you down on the floor next to some people you couldn’t recognize, and when you finally lifted your head, you saw a picture of your boyfriend greeting you at the front, with that charming smile of his, all types of flowers, everywhere, and a small box in the middle with a black ribbon adorning it. please no, this is not real, please no

you shivered and left akashi’s side, slowly. he called you, but it was useless

wakasa and benkei noticed from the distance, standing against the door of the room, until both started walking towards you, something was odd

-sh-shin?- you leaned closer, and caressed the box the same way you were used to touch his cheek in the mornings, when you slept together. he was always warm. and now, it was all just lifeless, cold wood -there is no way he can fit in there. it must be hard to breathe. it's just a tiny box, he is not there. benkei, where is him? is he really there? take him out, he can't breathe! akashi! please, please help him, it must be difficult to be in there alone. please! someone!- the three of them were now next to you, trying to calm you down, keeping the most quietly possible. you were shouting, crying, whispering, all at the same time. it was real

he was gone

-take her out, she is going to scare the kids- benkei looked at takeomi, while he held you close to his chest. you were sobbing and babbling incoherences 

-shh, it's okay, pretty. we are here, everything will be fine, he is fine- wakasa stroked you hair gently, he then looked around, searching for the younger ones

-please help him, please- you couldn’t keep your eyes open and you started to feel how the air in your lungs left your body, everything went dark

-y/n! y/n! she is fainting- takeomi held you tightly and grabbed your face, seeing how you grew unconscious with every passing second

-then hurry the fuck up! she needs air, take her out! i’ll go with mikey and emma, they don’t need to worry over this- wakasa mentioned, and left the three of you. benkei followed him soonly after

akashi went to the backyard, there were no people and it all seemed full of gloom. he sat down, leaning on one of the walls to hold you between his arms. your lips parted slightly and you began to breathe normally again

how did this even happen? why him?

his eyes were on you, watching you gain your composture again. you blinked very subtly, and one of your hands weakly got up to fondle his neck, tenderly

you were the most sacred thing to him in his small infamous world. where he was the god of war and you ruled by his side

he wanted you more than all that for which he cried at night after going to sleep, when he was a kid, and he lost a fight. all those foolish dreams couldn’t compare to you

beautiful, kind

he got near to your lips, and he stared at them in a trance, he wanted it

he wanted it badly

so he finally did it

the light touch of his lips rested on yours, and he tasted the victory that he has longed for, all these years

the victory that has never belonged to him

he moved away and you looked at him directly, with your eyelids half closed, to then whisper

-shin?-

no

no, it wasn't him. he was no one in particular

-i love you-

no

those weren’t words for him, he knew it. you were hallucinating, rambling in the middle of the bliss within your unconsciousness. you didn’t love him. his heart was yours entirely, but your soul and whole being belonged to shinichiro sano, your forever foolish lover

and in this fleeting moment, you saw him in takeomi. it was all a fantasy, a brief and painful one. the last moment you would share with shin now that he is gone, and only the shadow of him remains, a greedy man who will never have your desire

but he was satisfied

he couldn’t ask for more

in that instant, he had what he most wanted, and even if it was a lie, he would live in it forever

-i love you too-

and he meant it. every breath, every blink of his eyes, every caress to your wet cheeks. he meant it all

he was giving himself into you

he loved you, more than what he could understand

but it was not right

-what the fuck do you think you are doing, huh?-

trapped in his illusion, ears deaf to the footsteps coming his way. benkei took him by the collar of his shirt and made him drop you abruptly, he didn’t expect it. air leaving his lungs when he impacted the wall, it hurt him

-answer me you bitch, this is not time for your bullshit- benkei’s gaze had an unbridled anger, the same one he uses in fights to terrorize his opponents, only that this time, it was totally raw and authentic, he couldn’t feel any other way, he was disgusted

-how did you dare to take advantage of her in such a state?-

-i’m sorry-

slap

-oh your sorry? for her? for me?- he was looking for the answer in his eyes, almost harassing him. akashi couldn’t lift his stare from your weak figure on the floor -or for you? and how miserable you are? huh?-

slap

-you are lucky i was the one who saw you, wakasa would have already fucking smashed your pathetic skull-

-i’m in love with her, benkei. and it’s not something new-

slap

his cheeks were bleeding, skin split open. but he said it, it was unbearable, just a matter of time

he has never said it out loud, to anyone. he shouldn’t, but it was done now

-i don't give a fuck. she was shinichiro's woman, that he isn't around anymore doesn't give you the right nor the permission to go and try stupid delusional bullshit like this. learn to live with it- benkei’s voice faltered for a second at the mention of his friend, in sour realization. those were words they would have to get used to, unfortunately

a dry and emotionless laugh emanated from takeomi

-and what do you think i've trying to do all this fucking time, huh?-

benkei remained silent for 34 seconds, to be exact, both only staring at each other. guilt, sorrow and misery mingled together to form a thick aura between them, dull as cigarette smoke and distressing as betrayal

-well try harder. she is not yours, she will never be. so get your shit together-

-death did them apart- he stood in silence, realizing what he just said. he didn’t really mean it, his poisonous heart was clouding his mind out of pure despair. he could already feel the loneliness creeping through his veins, and he couldn’t stand it

benkei just barked a laugh, pathetic as always, he could only think

-but i’m sure they will be together again someday, motherfucker. so stay away from her until then-

benkei picked you up from the floor and took care of your delicate state himself, while takeomi just watched you walk away from him, once again

even after shinichiro's death, he kept himself in the dark. second in command. he never changed, he could still hear his orders in his mind, vividly. he was not enough to be a leader, he was not enough for anything at all

and his feelings never changed, either

he would be there for you, always. hoping that one day you may look at him the same way you used to look at sano

nothing really changed

shinichiro and takeomi were the two sides of the same torn coin, plated in the same way

heads or tails?

takeomi akashi stayed as the tore copper coin on the back of your pocket

he remained there, silent

he remained there, alone

forever missing his other half

and waiting for you, to give it a use in your grieving slot machine heart, someday

a tore copper coin, on the back of your pocket

—takeomi akashi x reader x shinichiro sano—

angst. +2.5k words. @lostinthe-jojos @saturnmitsuya @souyawn @kallikrein @blondbirb in case you’d like to read it :)

coins always have two sides, heads or tails

there are always two versions for each story. just as the sun spreads its light, the latent darkness that remains hidden, later takes over everything around. what is defined as right, and what is known as wrong. the desperate crying and the constant laughter. good people and the ones that want see you fall to pieces. death and life

whether it was day or night, april or december, in those times of youth that now seem abandoned and marked forever with the traces of tires from multiple motorcycles and cigarette leftovers, they used to fight over everything

every aspect. every joke. every bet

they knew each other since they were infants, after all. always running around, chasing the one after the another

among their inseparable gang, shinichiro always challenged takeomi. and intentionally or not, he always won

from the most insignificant thing with the cheekiest and childish purpose, to the most serious matters about the future of their crescent gang his nature was like that, showing his affection to others in that particular way he could only manage to achieve, carefree, charismatic and noble

-what’s so important about winning?- the older sano used to inquire his partner as if it were nothing, looking into his eyes, sideways. akashi’s teeth twisted inside his mouth every single time. shinichiro spoke serenely, but to takeomi was a direct scream into his ear, buzzing, deafening. impending defeat. why things always have to be like this?

on one side, akashi was used to make himself look disinterested to his friend antics. the best at hiding his emotions, the best liar, the best at pretending. but deep down inside his guts, in the remotest part of his self, the growing feelings of resentment that took over him, only strengthened with time, wishing to be the winning voice, even if it was just for once

while on the other, resided shinichiro. that even when he shamefully lost in a fight, he owned the victory. when he was silent in an argument, he still had the reason, the upper hand above everyone. all of this unbeknownst to him, actually

heads or tails?

sano was the head after all, the leader, the great, the admirable. takeomi just watched all this happen from afar, second in command. in reality, it never bothered him that much since that was his place from the beginning, he was well aware of it

but he was also a greedy man, money and success ruined him, and he was never good at making decisions. that’s why he kept behind, always behind

he was weak, and he knew it

except that, if there was one thing takeomi longed to be the first to, other than winning stupid games against one of his comrates or some cash in a dangerous entrust. it was to be owner of your desire

exactly, that

it’s always been him and the guys, his crew against tokyo. but with shinichiro, it came you. and you may not be part of the world they both shared, but you were certainly equal in importance. you were always near, shinichiro’s love since middle school, his forever girl and the only thing he ever talked about. the four of them could rely on you anytime, you were just another member

a loving soul that added an undescribable warmth to takeomi’s monotonous life, and you weren’t even his

maybe that was the problem

he doesn’t exactly know when did it all start. sure, since the first moment he saw you, he could tell how alluring you were. shinichiro really scored, a nice smile, a delightful personality, a lovely pair of eyes, pretty hair, pretty body. he was speechless, that you were with a guy like sano? wakasa and benkei weren’t doing any better  

not only that, quite dangerous feelings started to terrorize his mind at night, in the intimacy of his bed, with the moon as his only witness, while he soflty chanted your name before dawn, the forbidden prayers of a hidden sinner

those were the kind of things he started to seriously get worried about

it started innocent, it started subtle

from small gestures, like the blooming tingles he felt creeping in the tip of his fingers whenever he walked near you, and you both accidentaly grazed your hands. it meant nothing to you, but it surely did to him

to the serious issues that got harder him to ignore, to supress

like that one day, when it finally snapped it was pouring, and you were waiting for shinichiro outside of his newly opened store with a small umbrella as your shield, to bring him dinner, since he was staying late to finish the order of a client. but much to your misfortune, he was gone. probably running off to the store to get something he forgot. defeated, on your way home, you found akashi walking under the rain, drenching in his clothes, probably heading to s. s. motors too and when the two of you encountered each other, you decided to keep walking to part ways, not minding the already sopping clothes. both were casually talking with the water falling over yourselves in the middle of some street, when you saw how his hands were trembling, it was obvious, he was not around his usual cloud of smoke because of the weather and he was probably feeling a bit anxious. you were still using your umbrella, so you offered it entirely to him. now completely ruining your clothes in the process. he didn’t even react -what the hell are you doing?- he wasn’t expecting that at all, he is used to be the one who offers himself to others, in many ways more than just getting wet in the rain. he was already soaked, so it was no use -it’s been probably a while since you lighted a cigarette with this rain, so go on. i’ll hold it for you, sorry for not bringing a larger umbrella so we could both fit- and you grinned, inocently

it was such a naive thing, that’s just how you were. an effortlessly beautiful person. for an insignificant moment, you placed him before you, and you stood on the rain, the bento on you bag all wet, so he could smoke and calm himself for a few minutes before arriving home

a rather innecesary and weird thing to do, yes. nonetheless, it spoke a lot about how you were, caring and considerate. that’s why you were with shinichiro, and not him. there was no way he could possibly deserve you

then one night, he passed

and suddenly, on one grey afternoon you had to say goodbye to what remained of shinichiro in this world, and you were numb. you remember akashi waking you up, but you didn’t move. shin was not next to you in bed, how cold. you saw takeomi’s lips move, but you were not able to hear him. you stared at the corner, where some of shinichiro’s things stood, quiet and lonely. he undressed and prepared you to go out, what day was today? where was he taking you?

it was sano’s household, everyone were black dressed, and they all stared at you, faces full of sorrow

takeomi sat you down on the floor next to some people you couldn’t recognize, and when you finally lifted your head, you saw a picture of your boyfriend greeting you at the front, with that charming smile of his, all types of flowers, everywhere, and a small box in the middle with a black ribbon adorning it. please no, this is not real, please no

you shivered and left akashi’s side, slowly. he called you, but it was useless

wakasa and benkei noticed from the distance, standing against the door of the room, until both started walking towards you, something was odd

-sh-shin?- you leaned closer, and caressed the box the same way you were used to touch his cheek in the mornings, when you slept together. he was always warm. and now, it was all just lifeless, cold wood -there is no way he can fit in there. it must be hard to breathe. it’s just a tiny box, he is not there. benkei, where is him? is he really there? take him out, he can’t breathe! akashi! please, please help him, it must be difficult to be in there alone. please! someone!- the three of them were now next to you, trying to calm you down, keeping the most quietly possible. you were shouting, crying, whispering, all at the same time. it was real

he was gone

-take her out, she is going to scare the kids- benkei looked at takeomi, while he held you close to his chest. you were sobbing and babbling incoherences 

-shh, it’s okay, pretty. we are here, everything will be fine, he is fine- wakasa stroked you hair gently, he then looked around, searching for the younger ones

-please help him, please- you couldn’t keep your eyes open and you started to feel how the air in your lungs left your body, everything went dark

-y/n! y/n! she is fainting- takeomi held you tightly and grabbed your face, seeing how you grew unconscious with every passing second

-then hurry the fuck up! she needs air, take her out! i’ll go with mikey and emma, they don’t need to worry over this- wakasa mentioned, and left the three of you. benkei followed him soonly after

akashi went to the backyard, there were no people and it all seemed full of gloom. he sat down, leaning on one of the walls to hold you between his arms. your lips parted slightly and you began to breathe normally again

how did this even happen? why him?

his eyes were on you, watching you gain your composture again. you blinked very subtly, and one of your hands weakly got up to fondle his neck, tenderly

you were the most sacred thing to him in his small infamous world. where he was the god of war and you ruled by his side

he wanted you more than all that for which he cried at night after going to sleep, when he was a kid, and he lost a fight. all those foolish dreams couldn’t compare to you

beautiful, kind

he got near to your lips, and he stared at them in a trance, he wanted it

he wanted it badly

so he finally did it

the light touch of his lips rested on yours, and he tasted the victory that he has longed for, all these years

the victory that has never belonged to him

he moved away and you looked at him directly, with your eyelids half closed, to then whisper

-shin?-

no

no, it wasn’t him. he was no one in particular

-i love you-

no

those weren’t words for him, he knew it. you were hallucinating, rambling in the middle of the bliss within your unconsciousness. you didn’t love him. his heart was yours entirely, but your soul and whole being belonged to shinichiro sano, your forever foolish lover

and in this fleeting moment, you saw him in takeomi. it was all a fantasy, a brief and painful one. the last moment you would share with shin now that he is gone, and only the shadow of him remains, a greedy man who will never have your desire

but he was satisfied

he couldn’t ask for more

in that instant, he had what he most wanted, and even if it was a lie, he would live in it forever

-i love you too-

and he meant it. every breath, every blink of his eyes, every caress to your wet cheeks. he meant it all

he was giving himself into you

he loved you, more than what he could understand

but it was not right

-what the fuck do you think you are doing, huh?-

trapped in his illusion, ears deaf to the footsteps coming his way. benkei took him by the collar of his shirt and made him drop you abruptly, he didn’t expect it. air leaving his lungs when he impacted the wall, it hurt him

-answer me you bitch, this is not time for your bullshit- benkei’s gaze had an unbridled anger, the same one he uses in fights to terrorize his opponents, only that this time, it was totally raw and authentic, he couldn’t feel any other way, he was disgusted

-how did you dare to take advantage of her in such a state?-

-i’m sorry-

slap

-oh your sorry? for her? for me?- he was looking for the answer in his eyes, almost harassing him. akashi couldn’t lift his stare from your weak figure on the floor -or for you? and how miserable you are? huh?-

slap

-you are lucky i was the one who saw you, wakasa would have already fucking smashed your pathetic skull-

-i’m in love with her, benkei. and it’s not something new-

slap

his cheeks were bleeding, skin split open. but he said it, it was unbearable, just a matter of time

he has never said it out loud, to anyone. he shouldn’t, but it was done now

-i don’t give a fuck. she was shinichiro’s woman, that he isn’t around anymore doesn’t give you the right nor the permission to go and try stupid delusional bullshit like this. learn to live with it- benkei’s voice faltered for a second at the mention of his friend, in sour realization. those were words they would have to get used to, unfortunately

a dry and emotionless laugh emanated from takeomi

-and what do you think i’ve trying to do all this fucking time, huh?-

benkei remained silent for 34 seconds, to be exact, both only staring at each other. guilt, sorrow and misery mingled together to form a thick aura between them, dull as cigarette smoke and distressing as betrayal

-well try harder. she is not yours, she will never be. so get your shit together-

-death did them apart- he stood in silence, realizing what he just said. he didn’t really mean it, his poisonous heart was clouding his mind out of pure despair. he could already feel the loneliness creeping through his veins, and he couldn’t stand it

benkei just barked a laugh, pathetic as always, he could only think

-but i’m sure they will be together again someday, motherfucker. so stay away from her until then-

benkei picked you up from the floor and took care of your delicate state himself, while takeomi just watched you walk away from him, once again

even after shinichiro’s death, he kept himself in the dark. second in command. he never changed, he could still hear his orders in his mind, vividly. he was not enough to be a leader, he was not enough for anything at all

and his feelings never changed, either

he would be there for you, always. hoping that one day you may look at him the same way you used to look at sano

nothing really changed

shinichiro and takeomi were the two sides of the same torn coin, plated in the same way

heads or tails?

takeomi akashi stayed as the tore copper coin on the back of your pocket

he remained there, silent

he remained there, alone

forever missing his other half

and waiting for you, to give it a use in your grieving slot machine heart, someday

[ 𝐏𝐋𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐓 ] — 𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐈 𝐑𝐀𝐍

ran watches with a ghost of a smile on his face as you eat lunch, happily rambling about your day so far. he’s about to take a bite from his own meal when you call his name gently.

he likes the way his name falls from your pretty lips, rolling past your tongue in a manner he thinks was made specifically for his name alone.

and he wants to hear it for the rest of eternity, and the eternity beyond that.

“ran, is your brother…by any chance free tonight,” you mumble quietly. he snorts, raising a brow up.

“what do you need with rindou?” huffing, you glare at him, crossing your arms as you shrug. it doesn’t take a genius to know that there’s heat flared to your cheeks.

“why do you need to know? i just need to talk to him, is all.” he doesn’t like the way a surge of jealousy waves over him, consuming every crevice of his body, but ran doesn’t let it show. instead, he offers you a playful grin as he narrows his eyes at you.

“why’s that? gonna tell him you’re in love with him or something?” he doesn’t expect the way you basically give yourself whiplash with how fast you look away, nervously wringing your hands as you avoid his eyes.

he shouldn’t have asked, he thinks. maybe he wouldn’t have to deal with the feeling of his plummeting heart.

“maybe,” you grumble. he stares at you for a moment, trying to figure you out. “okay fine, yes. now answer the question.”

for a moment, there’s a hot, white, searing pain in his chest, right where his heart is. and ran has to fist his pants to keep himself composed, swallowing harshly before pulling himself together.

“yeah,” he clears his throat, throwing you a lazy smirk—it’s tight and forced. “yeah, he’s free tonight.” a bright grin erupts across your face, and you nod excitedly.

“okay, great. i’ll tell him. you think he’ll say yes?” the nervousness in your voice makes him bitter. bitter at the world, at you, at his brother—but mostly himself. why couldn’t he be enough to catch your eye? what had you seen in his younger brother of all people?

and ran knows his brother will say yes, even if rindou’s never mentioned anything about you to him, he can see the same subtle hints of softness in rindou that he himself reserves for you too. he’s always held onto the hope that you’d be his in the end.

but, if it means you and rindou are happy, he thinks he can bear the feeling of his soul crumbling.

“‘m sure he will,” he looks off ahead, past your shoulder and into the distance. he couldn’t meet your eyes if he tried. “he’s an asshole, not an idiot.”

your soft chuckle rings through his ears, making his head spin as you murmur, “i hope so. thanks, ran. i’ll tell him tonight then.”

his heart finally sinks to the bottom at your words.

— A TORE COPPER COIN, ON THE BACK OF YOUR POCKET —

takeomi akashi x reader x shinichiro sano

angst. +2.5k words. @lostinthe-jojos @saturnmitsuya @souyawn @kallikrein @blondbirb in case you’d like to read it :)

coins always have two sides, heads or tails

there are always two versions for each story. just as the sun spreads its light, the latent darkness that remains hidden, later takes over everything around. what is defined as right, and what is known as wrong. the desperate crying and the constant laughter. good people and the ones that want see you fall to pieces. death and life

whether it was day or night, april or december, in those times of youth that now seem abandoned and marked forever with the traces of tires from multiple motorcycles and cigarette leftovers, they used to fight over everything

every aspect. every joke. every bet

they knew each other since they were infants, after all. always running around, chasing the one after the another

among their inseparable gang, shinichiro always challenged takeomi. and intentionally or not, he always won

from the most insignificant thing with the cheekiest and childish purpose, to the most serious matters about the future of their crescent gang his nature was like that, showing his affection to others in that particular way he could only manage to achieve, carefree, charismatic and noble

-what’s so important about winning?- the older sano used to inquire his partner as if it were nothing, looking into his eyes, sideways. akashi’s teeth twisted inside his mouth every single time. shinichiro spoke serenely, but to takeomi was a direct scream into his ear, buzzing, deafening. impending defeat. why things always have to be like this?

on one side, akashi was used to make himself look disinterested to his friend antics. the best at hiding his emotions, the best liar, the best at pretending. but deep down inside his guts, in the remotest part of his self, the growing feelings of resentment that took over him, only strengthened with time, wishing to be the winning voice, even if it was just for once

while on the other, resided shinichiro. that even when he shamefully lost in a fight, he owned the victory. when he was silent in an argument, he still had the reason, the upper hand above everyone. all of this unbeknownst to him, actually

heads or tails?

sano was the head after all, the leader, the great, the admirable. takeomi just watched all this happen from afar, second in command. in reality, it never bothered him that much since that was his place from the beginning, he was well aware of it

but he was also a greedy man, money and success ruined him, and he was never good at making decisions. that’s why he kept behind, always behind

he was weak, and he knew it

except that, if there was one thing takeomi longed to be the first to, other than winning stupid games against one of his comrates or some cash in a dangerous entrust. it was to be owner of your desire

exactly, that

it’s always been him and the guys, his crew against tokyo. but with shinichiro, it came you. and you may not be part of the world they both shared, but you were certainly equal in importance. you were always near, shinichiro’s love since middle school, his forever girl and the only thing he ever talked about. the four of them could rely on you anytime, you were just another member

a loving soul that added an undescribable warmth to takeomi’s monotonous life, and you weren’t even his

maybe that was the problem

he doesn’t exactly know when did it all start. sure, since the first moment he saw you, he could tell how alluring you were. shinichiro really scored, a nice smile, a delightful personality, a lovely pair of eyes, pretty hair, pretty body. he was speechless, that you were with a guy like sano? wakasa and benkei weren’t doing any better  

not only that, quite dangerous feelings started to terrorize his mind at night, in the intimacy of his bed, with the moon as his only witness, while he soflty chanted your name before dawn, the forbidden prayers of a hidden sinner

those were the kind of things he started to seriously get worried about

it started innocent, it started subtle

from small gestures, like the blooming tingles he felt creeping in the tip of his fingers whenever he walked near you, and you both accidentaly grazed your hands. it meant nothing to you, but it surely did to him

to the serious issues that got harder him to ignore, to supress

like that one day, when it finally snapped it was pouring, and you were waiting for shinichiro outside of his newly opened store with a small umbrella as your shield, to bring him dinner, since he was staying late to finish the order of a client. but much to your misfortune, he was gone. probably running off to the store to get something he forgot. defeated, on your way home, you found akashi walking under the rain, drenching in his clothes, probably heading to s. s. motors too and when the two of you encountered each other, you decided to keep walking to part ways, not minding the already sopping clothes. both were casually talking with the water falling over yourselves in the middle of some street, when you saw how his hands were trembling, it was obvious, he was not around his usual cloud of smoke because of the weather and he was probably feeling a bit anxious. you were still using your umbrella, so you offered it entirely to him. now completely ruining your clothes in the process. he didn’t even react -what the hell are you doing?- he wasn’t expecting that at all, he is used to be the one who offers himself to others, in many ways more than just getting wet in the rain. he was already soaked, so it was no use -it’s been probably a while since you lighted a cigarette with this rain, so go on. i’ll hold it for you, sorry for not bringing a larger umbrella so we could both fit- and you grinned, inocently

it was such a naive thing, that’s just how you were. an effortlessly beautiful person. for an insignificant moment, you placed him before you, and you stood on the rain, the bento on you bag all wet, so he could smoke and calm himself for a few minutes before arriving home

a rather innecesary and weird thing to do, yes. nonetheless, it spoke a lot about how you were, caring and considerate. that’s why you were with shinichiro, and not him. there was no way he could possibly deserve you

then one night, he passed

and suddenly, on one grey afternoon you had to say goodbye to what remained of shinichiro in this world, and you were numb. you remember akashi waking you up, but you didn’t move. shin was not next to you in bed, how cold. you saw takeomi’s lips move, but you were not able to hear him. you stared at the corner, where some of shinichiro’s things stood, quiet and lonely. he undressed and prepared you to go out, what day was today? where was he taking you?

it was sano’s household, everyone were black dressed, and they all stared at you, faces full of sorrow

takeomi sat you down on the floor next to some people you couldn’t recognize, and when you finally lifted your head, you saw a picture of your boyfriend greeting you at the front, with that charming smile of his, all types of flowers, everywhere, and a small box in the middle with a black ribbon adorning it. please no, this is not real, please no

you shivered and left akashi’s side, slowly. he called you, but it was useless

wakasa and benkei noticed from the distance, standing against the door of the room, until both started walking towards you, something was odd

-sh-shin?- you leaned closer, and caressed the box the same way you were used to touch his cheek in the mornings, when you slept together. he was always warm. and now, it was all just lifeless, cold wood -there is no way he can fit in there. it must be hard to breathe. it’s just a tiny box, he is not there. benkei, where is him? is he really there? take him out, he can’t breathe! akashi! please, please help him, it must be difficult to be in there alone. please! someone!- the three of them were now next to you, trying to calm you down, keeping the most quietly possible. you were shouting, crying, whispering, all at the same time. it was real

he was gone

-take her out, she is going to scare the kids- benkei looked at takeomi, while he held you close to his chest. you were sobbing and babbling incoherences 

-shh, it’s okay, pretty. we are here, everything will be fine, he is fine- wakasa stroked you hair gently, he then looked around, searching for the younger ones

-please help him, please- you couldn’t keep your eyes open and you started to feel how the air in your lungs left your body, everything went dark

-y/n! y/n! she is fainting- takeomi held you tightly and grabbed your face, seeing how you grew unconscious with every passing second

-then hurry the fuck up! she needs air, take her out! i’ll go with mikey and emma, they don’t need to worry over this- wakasa mentioned, and left the three of you. benkei followed him soonly after

akashi went to the backyard, there were no people and it all seemed full of gloom. he sat down, leaning on one of the walls to hold you between his arms. your lips parted slightly and you began to breathe normally again

how did this even happen? why him?

his eyes were on you, watching you gain your composture again. you blinked very subtly, and one of your hands weakly got up to fondle his neck, tenderly

you were the most sacred thing to him in his small infamous world. where he was the god of war and you ruled by his side

he wanted you more than all that for which he cried at night after going to sleep, when he was a kid, and he lost a fight. all those foolish dreams couldn’t compare to you

beautiful, kind

he got near to your lips, and he stared at them in a trance, he wanted it

he wanted it badly

so he finally did it

the light touch of his lips rested on yours, and he tasted the victory that he has longed for, all these years

the victory that has never belonged to him

he moved away and you looked at him directly, with your eyelids half closed, to then whisper

-shin?-

no

no, it wasn’t him. he was no one in particular

-i love you-

no

those weren’t words for him, he knew it. you were hallucinating, rambling in the middle of the bliss within your unconsciousness. you didn’t love him. his heart was yours entirely, but your soul and whole being belonged to shinichiro sano, your forever foolish lover

and in this fleeting moment, you saw him in takeomi. it was all a fantasy, a brief and painful one. the last moment you would share with shin now that he is gone, and only the shadow of him remains, a greedy man who will never have your desire

but he was satisfied

he couldn’t ask for more

in that instant, he had what he most wanted, and even if it was a lie, he would live in it forever

-i love you too-

and he meant it. every breath, every blink of his eyes, every caress to your wet cheeks. he meant it all

he was giving himself into you

he loved you, more than what he could understand

but it was not right

-what the fuck do you think you are doing, huh?-

trapped in his illusion, ears deaf to the footsteps coming his way. benkei took him by the collar of his shirt and made him drop you abruptly, he didn’t expect it. air leaving his lungs when he impacted the wall, it hurt him

-answer me you bitch, this is not time for your bullshit- benkei’s gaze had an unbridled anger, the same one he uses in fights to terrorize his opponents, only that this time, it was totally raw and authentic, he couldn’t feel any other way, he was disgusted

-how did you dare to take advantage of her in such a state?-

-i’m sorry-

slap

-oh your sorry? for her? for me?- he was looking for the answer in his eyes, almost harassing him. akashi couldn’t lift his stare from your weak figure on the floor -or for you? and how miserable you are? huh?-

slap

-you are lucky i was the one who saw you, wakasa would have already fucking smashed your pathetic skull-

-i’m in love with her, benkei. and it’s not something new-

slap

his cheeks were bleeding, skin split open. but he said it, it was unbearable, just a matter of time

he has never said it out loud, to anyone. he shouldn’t, but it was done now

-i don’t give a fuck. she was shinichiro’s woman, that he isn’t around anymore doesn’t give you the right nor the permission to go and try stupid delusional bullshit like this. learn to live with it- benkei’s voice faltered for a second at the mention of his friend, in sour realization. those were words they would have to get used to, unfortunately

a dry and emotionless laugh emanated from takeomi

-and what do you think i’ve trying to do all this fucking time, huh?-

benkei remained silent for 34 seconds, to be exact, both only staring at each other. guilt, sorrow and misery mingled together to form a thick aura between them, dull as cigarette smoke and distressing as betrayal

-well try harder. she is not yours, she will never be. so get your shit together-

-death did them apart- he stood in silence, realizing what he just said. he didn’t really mean it, his poisonous heart was clouding his mind out of pure despair. he could already feel the loneliness creeping through his veins, and he couldn’t stand it

benkei just barked a laugh, pathetic as always, he could only think

-but i’m sure they will be together again someday, motherfucker. so stay away from her until then-

benkei picked you up from the floor and took care of your delicate state himself, while takeomi just watched you walk away from him, once again

even after shinichiro’s death, he kept himself in the dark. second in command. he never changed, he could still hear his orders in his mind, vividly. he was not enough to be a leader, he was not enough for anything at all

and his feelings never changed, either

he would be there for you, always. hoping that one day you may look at him the same way you used to look at sano

nothing really changed

shinichiro and takeomi were the two sides of the same torn coin, plated in the same way

heads or tails?

takeomi akashi stayed as the tore copper coin on the back of your pocket

he remained there, silent

he remained there, alone

forever missing his other half

and waiting for you, to give it a use in your grieving slot machine heart, someday

Can I request cheater! Bonten Mikey (angst) but then regretted/ try to win her back? Thank you in advance!

TW- Cheating, implied abuse You didn't know how stressful running a gang could be- much less the biggest criminal organization in the whole of Japan. So you thought it might be best too give Mikey some space, give him time too himself and let him relax. You fully trusted Mikey, he's never betrayed your trust, never lied to you and never gave you a reason too doubt him. He was sweet to you, buys you the prettiest things and treats you like a princess. But, when you got back to his office, after being out for a couple hours, you could hear the sounds of skin-slapping and the creak of his desk. You didn't have too open his office door too know what was happening and you didn't, you doubted you could handle seeing Mikey like that, especially with another person, you knew he wasn't... as attentive as usual but, it wasn't too weird for you. Mikey just needs some alone time, you didn't think it would be anything like.. this. You didn't know how fast you ran out of the building, your head was so foggy, everything felt.. fake.

You knew you couldn't stay, that was it. You loved Mikey, promised too stay- he made you promise him over and over again until your throat was raw as he stared at you blankly. But, you couldn't take knowing that he was so intimate with someone else, so... physically connected to someone that wasn't you. You truly believed with everything that Mikey would never do something like that- like this to you. But then again.. you truly didn't know anything about Mikey, he never opened up, never gave you any unnecessary or personal details from his childhood or his life in general. You packed everything you could fit in your bag as soon as you got to the penthouse you shared with Mikey- well, not really shared.. he payed for everything, it truly was a beautiful penthouse but you couldn't stay. How long and how many you wondered, did he ever fuck women in the bed you shared together? Did he ever caress your cheek with the same fingers that were.. inside someone else...? Ever kiss you after kissing someone else? Ever.. ever spread your legs open and make love to you after he was done with someone else? Did he ever think of someone else as he fucked into you and told you he loved you? You knew he kept a stash of cash in the closet in case of emergencies, he told you if anything ever happened it would be there, should you need it, knowing he couldn't be with you all the time. It felt like a good reason so you took it, took a good couple thousand dollars, at least enough too last while you figured everything out and got far away from him. You couldn't.. go back after this, this was just too much. You knew realistically this could never be fixed and there was no going back for the both of you, you just hoped that Mikey would leave you be after he found you gone, would accept the note you left in place of your presence. It had been a couple hours after you left when he came home, exhausted and yearning too relax with you. He didn't like that you never came back to his office, but that was probably for the best, considering the session he had with that woman took a lot longer then he thought, but it's no big deal, her pussy wasn't nearly as tight as yours anyway. He quickly became irritated when he kept calling your name, you know he hates repeating himself, you've had bruises before, physically showing you how much he hated repeating himself. But, he'd just have to teach you anothe rlesson, be a little firmer with you this time. He froze when he saw the room you shared together a mess, clothes thrown about and the closet door open, the room was a mess the bedsheets were tossed and the gun he kept hidden away behind the clothes in the closet were gone. He had immediately grabbed his phone, planning too have all of his executives out looking for you, assuming it was a kidnapping at first. Until he saw the note, the white paper crinkled and under messy, crinkled blankets. Assuming it was a ransom note, he snatcjed it, eyes looking for a sum of money, when he didn't find one, he read over the paper carefully, making sure he didn't miss a word.

"Mikey, I truly don't know how too start this note... something like this has never happened before- never thought it would happen to be honest with you. I never thought you would do something so... unforgiving, after all the moments we shared together. The way you'd hold me when I cried, the way you'd kiss my tears away. I never knew a man like you could be so gentle, but you were. You held me, treated me like fragile glass, sometimes I thought, that you thought I would break if you were too rough. The way you would hold me while you made love to me, made me promise too stay and I did, but.. I can't anymore after hearing you in your office with someone else. The thought of you being so intimate with someone breaks me.. it'll break me for a while. I don't think I could ever look into those beautiful onyx eyes that I love- use too love. Knowing you've looked into others eyes as you did mine. I can't bare the thought of you holding someone as they called out your name, kissed you as they yearned for your touch. I promised too stay... but this is the only promise I'll ever break to you. I love you, more then anything, I'll always love you even when I'm gone. I just wished you'd feel the same. Goodbye Manjiro Sano, hopefully forever." There were wet spots on the note, bleeding through the paper as he got to the end. Reaching up to his burning eyes, they were wet, vision clouding and becoming blurry as his wet lashes stuck together. The salty tears ran down his cheeks as his hand started too shake and his breathing became heavier. He was struggling too breathe, too understand the note, his head was foggy and blank.. but also over-whelming with different scenarios of you, he doesn't even recognize his own voice when it comes out hoarse and rugged. You're walking out of his life, and as you wanted, possibly forever. "I can't... that can't happen angel. You can't leave- can't leave me. You promised and I won't let you break that promise. You'll understand how much I love you when I get you back" He pulled his phone out, calling Sanzu too immediately track you down, you belonged with him- with home. You were- are everything to him, the only thing left that he holds close. He's selfish, he knows that, he knows why you left but he didn't actually think you would... his chest hurts, feels like it's caving in on itself. He needs you, more then he thought, he can't and he won't let you leave- let you just walk away from him like this. Over his dead body.

ᴀ ᴘᴇʀɪʟᴏᴜꜱ ɪɴᴛᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴ

ᴅʀᴀᴋᴇɴ x ᴇᴍᴍᴀ (ᴛᴋʀ)

___________________________________ Part 1 Part 2 | DNI: BLANK BLOGS AND MATURE BLANK BLOGS. (The mature blogs that I can't block. But the blank blogs with likes and following visible are fine to me.) NOT PROOFREAD

December 4, 2017

When winter arrived, pearly white snow filled the streets of Tokyo. During this season, a rustic coffee shop in Tokyo attracts a few people and tourists for its coffee and desserts and also rumors that a person can travel to the past.

A little frost of winter covered the large window of the Alopsia café, and people wore scarves and coats when entering or exiting the café. The café was lively, with the usual number of customers doubled, mostly old couples and teenagers looking for warmth.

However, along with those groups, there was a man in his late twenties, whose features were hidden with a bucket hat, scrolling mindlessly in his phone while occasionally looking at the entrance door when hearing the bell ring when new customers came in but looked back to his phone again when he didn’t find the one he looked for and today was the fourth day in a row he had visited the café.

Each day, he would arrive as the café opened, sometimes at noon. It would be a guess that something was suspicious about him, but the workers and regulars paid no mind to it, assuming he was waiting for someone or just staying in the café for warmth. Soon, when late afternoon came, he stood up in his seat, sighing as he walked towards the register, deciding to pay for his coffee.

And as he was about to pay, Shou, a part-time worker, exclaimed suddenly in astonishment.

“Oh? Mr. Mitsuya!?“

Surprised at the mention of his name, he looked up and saw the waiter behind the cash register.

“Ah, you know me?“

“Yes, why wouldn’t I? You’re quite famous for being a fashion designer in Tokyo after all and a friend of the famous motorist, Draken!”

He spoke enthusiastically, almost rambling as he beamed brightly, making the latter amused and a bit forlorn. As he realized what he had done, he stopped and blushed red from embarrassment and mumbled.

“Are you about to pay, sir?“

“Ah, yes.”

Mitsuya then brought up his wallet and brought out the amount that he needed, which Shou accepted gratefully, placing them at the register, and before Mitsuya was about to leave, he suddenly requested, bringing out a business card from his pocket.

“If Draken comes here, call me.”

Shou might have asked why but restrained himself and nodded, accepting the business card before waving at the latter a goodbye.

“Thank you and come back again!”

As the lilac-haired man faded from view, he examined the business card, tracing the intricate designs before looking at the phone number, nodding, and stuffing it in his back pocket before returning to his work of serving customers, oblivious of a disaster slowly rising.

________________________________________ Later Evening ________________________________________

It was about their closing time as the last customer already left the shop earlier, when a man wearing a black-and-white pattern shirt suddenly opened the door in a hurry. The bell above the door rang loudly, and the workers almost jumped out of fright except for the owner of the shop, Toru, as if already expecting him to visit the shop.

“I’m not late, am I?” He spoke, wheezing slightly from exhaustion, noting he was running to reach here.

“You’re just in time before the shop closes, sir…” Toru spoke, faltering as he didn’t know the latter’s name, and the blonde was about to introduce himself, but Shou butted in.

“--Ryuguji!” Shou exclaimed as he suddenly popped out behind the owner, smiling brightly. Toru nodded and made Draken flustered from the mention of his name, clearly forgetting he’s Japan’s famous motorist.

“So, what can I do for you, sir?” Toru inquired, looking at the blond as he ushered the black-haired male out of the way to reach the register, ready to take the blond’s order.

“I want to go back in time…” He spoke, his voice now sounding calm and steady as he regained his breath.

Toru got silent, contemplating for a while before nodding and beginning to walk at the back of the café with Shou, not before instructing the latter to sit at the vacant chairs, to which he complied, sitting at a chair stool that was facing outside beside the entrance door. Now he’s all by himself until he sees a man sitting at a chair in the left corner in his 30s with spiky, jet-black hair and jade green eyes, wearing a colored cream sweater with a pair of black pants and shoes, gazing outside the shop with a refilled black coffee in front of him, calmly steaming.

He looked at the man (or a ghost) curiously until the man’s narrow jade green eyes looked back at him as well as he felt the stare, which made the blond swiftly look away as he got caught. Toru then returned with Shou following behind him, holding a fancy teapot and a cup, and that’s when the man with sharp jade green eyes suddenly stood up, walking towards the comfort room, not before nodding at the two workers as he passed them, which caused a red hue to erupt at the part-time worker’s cheeks and smiled back as a greeting to the strikingly tall male before he vanished into the comfort room, which went unnoticed by the blond and the owner.

As the man leaves, Draken is quickly ushered to the seat that was occupied by the man earlier, as Shou places the cup in front of him at the same time. Then, Toru asked the blond.

“Do you know the rules, Draken-san?”

The blond nodded his head, which made the owner hum, and before he told Shou to pour the coffee. Shou suddenly yelled in panic.

“Oh, I forgot to message him that Draken-san is here!”

He immediately began to fish out his phone and the card from his pocket in one hand and, as Draken realized what he meant, immediately grabbed the black-haired male’s hand to stop him from grabbing his phone.

“No, don’t call him.” He said, sounding stern.

The black-haired male was perplexed as well as the coffee shop owner and about to ask why, but Draken just shook his head, which Shou reluctantly nodded, respecting the latter’s wishes. The blond immediately let go of the other’s hand. Then, Toru spoke and commanded the young adult to pour the cup of coffee now, which he nodded.

“Then, we may begin. You may start now, Shou.”

As Shou finished pouring the cup, Draken took a sip from his coffee and his surroundings slowly shifted into the past, but still inside the shop. The shop was basking in the warm sunlight of the summer afternoon as the sun steadily went down at the horizon, instead of the cold winter season frosting the shop’s large glass window, which shows the city with white, freezing snow. He looked around and saw the owner, Toru, watching him - ever since he appeared - he nodded his head in greeting and Toru gave one back as well.

Then, the bell above the entrance door of the shop rang, which snapped the blond’s attention away from the owner to look at the door and see her. Emma’s cheery smile greeted the entire shop until she faced him and even smiled brighter, exclaiming happily as if she was oblivious that he was the future of himself.

“Oh, Draken!”

“Emma…” He whispered, his voice almost cracking as tears suddenly pricked his eyes. I’m happy to see you again. Even if it’s just a fleeting moment. But that’s okay 'cause I’ll be with you as well.

________________________________________________________

Inspired from a novel called Before the Coffee gets Cold by Toshikazu Kawaguchi

This has been rotting in my drafts ahaha. 0v0'

It’s Excellent as always <3

BACK TO US — h. shuji

𖨆♡𖨆 hanma shuji x fem!reader, chifuyu x fem!reader

╰┈➤ thrown into an arranged marriage with toman’s second man, you slowly come to find that not even your lost memories will stop him from getting what he wants. and what he wants is not you.

cw. HEAVY ANGST, illnesses, past mentions of child abuse towards the reader, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of abortion, explicit smut, mentions of food, mentions of alcohol, adultery, heartbreak, mentions of death, murder by strangulation, MINORS/AGELESS/BLANK BLOGS DNI

╳  playlist                                      ╳ masterlist

#6: you love me but you’re hollow (part 2)

Despite everything that had happened in a span of a few hours, the human heart is truly an amazing thing.

It’s resilience was second to a rubber band, twisting and flexible. But, like a band, once it broke, nothing could ever fix it again.

Your husband had left a string of missed calls since the news broke of your father’s state.

It was Chifuyu who returned, mistaking your reddened eyes for grief towards a man who did not care if you lived or died. Who was a father in just his name. 

The dark-haired man held you close to his side in a stiff hug, murmuring, “Shuji-san is caught in between tasks. He’s making arrangements to return home soon.”

How much could a heart take before it permanently fell into pieces?

Home. Did that even exist now that you knew the whole truth? 

You turned your listless eyes to him, nodding. “Of course.”

No words were exchanged between you and Chifuyu for the rest of the ride to the hideout where your father would be treated for his sudden illness.

Is this really happening to me? 

In what world could life be so cruel to you that you had to endure horrible news after horrible news? This is insane. Your phone rang again, and you darted your gaze to the screen.

The word husband flashed across the screen a few times. You remained frozen in your seat. 

The screen went dark and Chifuyu cleared his throat. “Are you alright, Y/N?” Perhaps it was in the manner in which he posed that innocent question that made the tears bloom in your eyes, your lower lip wobbling slightly. “I believe this news must have come as a shock to you.”

Chifuyu did not know how wrong he was. 

But, of course, he didn’t. How would he know that you were undoubtedly reeling from the double whammy of having your heart broken by your husband’s infidelity? That it overwhelmed the fear lacerating across your soul from your father’s wellbeing? 

No one could blame you for closing your eyes for a second, beyond dizzy from the sudden whiplash of emotions. Anger, betrayal, fear, heartbreak. Everything hit you all at once with no room for an escape. You were forced to stare down the terrifying eyes of your emotions, to contend with the harsh reality of your memories returning, your worst fears coming to light, and waking up into this nightmare that seemed to have no end.

Why me? Your mind rang out in cadences of self-loathing. What did I do to deserve this?

The baby in your belly, faultless and pure, was the one you leaned upon to give you strength to propel forward. You swiped at your eyes and assumed the stony mask which had served you well for many, many years in a household filled with nothing but conflict and terror.

“Let us focus on my father’s wellbeing and not on other things that do not deserve attention.”

From the corner of your eye, Chifuyu’s lips pulled down into a frown. Your friend reached out to you, grazing your shoulder, and in this minute silence, you were glad you weren’t alone. Heavens knows what would’ve transpired if you were left to your own devices. The harm you would put yourself in. Your palm turned into a fist above your belly. The horrors you would’ve done out of pain to a poor soul that would not deserve it. 

Briefly, you did ruminate on it—what it would feel like to have uncapped the bottle of bleach sitting innocently on your shelf and gulped down its contents. Threw yourself down the stairs and let your bones break. Stabbed your own heart with the knife Shuji loved cutting apples for you, placing the plate of fruit of your lap with a soft smile and a whisper for you to eat better.

The ghost of the blade lodged somewhere between your ribs, just below your heart. You expelled a shaky sob. Chifuyu didn’t have to ask twice—his arms were already around you, holding you fast to his chest, letting your tears seep into his dress shirt. From somewhere in your purse, your phone continued ringing, unanswered. 

“It’s going to be okay,” Chifuyu murmured into your hair. “Everything will be fine.”

How you wished his words were true. It was not enough that you had to flay your memories open every single time now that they were back. Nothing you thought, felt or reasoned would be enough to mitigate the immense injustice you were faced with. That was committed onto you. 

What did I do to deserve this?

Your head spun, and you were faint with nerves. Chifuyu held you close to him, a pillar of warmth and support, the crook of his neck an oasis where you hid your tear-stained face. Thank you, was your fervent prayer to the universe. Thank you for putting a friend here for me.

Without Chifuyu’s hand on your shoulder, you were sure you could not get out of the car. His touch on your back as he steered you down the winding halls of this quiet mansion that turned into a makeshift hospital was the sole thing keeping you from sliding down the walls and melting in a puddle of your own tears. 

It felt like Novocain was melting on your tongue, numbing your voice and actions when men bowed in your direction the moment you passed them. Oh—right. With your father indisposed, you were the acting head of the Blood Phoenixes. A title you took little pleasure in. Especially when the door fell open to reveal your father’s fragile body lying on the bed.

In his frail state, you weren’t sure what you were terrified of in the first place. He was no longer the horrifying monolith who dictated your life, whose fists landing on your flesh you were intimately acquainted with. 

It would be sickeningly easy to lift the pillow by the side of his salt-pepper streaked hair and smother the last of his breath as a repercussion for the cruelty he showed you throughout your whole life. The glint in your eyes spoke of such malicious intentions.

“Please, leave us for a moment.”

The men had no choice but to melt out of the room, their heads bowed forward. Chifuyu squeezed your shoulder, departing a bit of his strength while he followed the rest of them. Your father’s eyes flickered open, and he grunted at the sight of you. 

One half of his face was completely sagging, as if the muscles had given out, leaving his right eye drooping, his mouth perpetually fashioned in a half-frown. Ghastly. He looked like a creature of the night, so unsightly, that if you were made of crueler stuff, you would’ve laughed in his face. 

Your heels clacked on the ground, and his working eye followed you, a sheen of fear in it.

“Tou-san.” 

You loomed over him, a woman with such an impassive face and shaking hands, it would be little wonder why he flinched when you raised your palms. In his eyes and mind, every single sin he committed against you flashed by rapidly; each horrible, ego-breaking word he hurled into your face, the faint scars on your arms, the slaps he dealt onto your susceptible cheek when you did not answer him from the fear. One time, he had hauled you by your hair towards the balcony, shaking you hard enough for your teeth to rattle, screaming how he was going to throw you over the railings if you dared defy him again.  

Unbidden, the tears chased down your face.

You lifted the pillow, fingers trembling. He gave a low moan, begging you with his one shining eye to not hurt him.

Your gut tightened. Your fingertips tingled with nerves when you reached out to him. 

Soft as down, you brushed the hair from his temple back, and gently lifted his head, placing the pillow underneath his tender skull.

Tomio exhaled noisily. You turned your face away. 

“Can you speak?”

He grunted in response.

“Your men filled me in,” you spoke with little inflection in your voice. “They tell me you have little chance of survival without a hospital’s aid.” Outside, lightning flashed. You swore you felt your phone vibrating again in your purse. “Perhaps that is for the best.”

The lack of light in your eyes when you turned your head to him was pronounced, especially when you touched your belly. His one eye flickered towards the soft of your stomach. “You know, I lied to you that day in your mansion to save Shuji. I said I was pregnant—” 

A loud grunt that sounded like a reprimand. 

“—but, I didn’t know. I actually was pregnant.”

Your expression was a blank slate, one your father could not read. His wrinkles became more pronounced in a deep frown. “It looks like I have to disappoint you again, tou-san. It is a girl.”

The lie you told weighed heavily on your tongue. Not a lie, you amended. A speculation you wanted to come true. You wished with your entire soul that Shusei would be a baby girl so you would never have to contend with the idea of your father’s men hounding him. Trying to appoint him as their next leader.

You would rather cut your own finger off than see your baby boy transform into a cruel man like his grandfather.

Like his father.

It had to end with you. 

A tear slipped down your cheek from his closed off expression. Your father breathed heavily, like he was growing to anger, but the frustration of his uncooperating body held him back from fully reaching the peak of his rage. My fault. Everything is my fault.

“But, what do you care? You’ve only ever seen me as a pawn, right? An extension of you to order around. To beat when you needed a way to release your frustrations. You have never seen me as your daughter.”

Straightening your spine, every crevice in your heart ached, bleeding a mile wide to run red rivulets down puffy cheeks. You were so very, very tired.

“I confess I once thought it was my fault that okasan passed away. You made sure to remind me of that.”

Foolish. You were crying like a fool. Openly sobbing, you pressed a palm to your heaving mouth, your hands shaking. Every fibre of your soul ripping cleanly in two. Focus… I need to focus. 

Your watery eyes landed on the soft duvet, fisting the white sheet. This was your last goodbye to your father, after all. 

Sucking in a sharp breath, you decided it was the right time to spill your soul. The pain you suffered, the numerous times you held your tongue to keep the peace, the blows you took without a single complaint. The half-life you were forced to live that you could never go back to. Not when your freedom was so close. It’s time to say goodbye. 

“I was a child, tou-chan.” Daddy. This was the first time in your life you have ever called him that. The term was clunky and hollow in your mouth—completely foreign. “And all a young girl wants is her father’s love. All I ever wanted was your love.”

The great L/N Tomio, whose name had the power to shake a man’s core, who had killed and maimed thousands of people in his colourful career as a yakuza head, was nothing but a limp vegetable with tears beading in his lashline. 

Those beady dark eyes were hopeless pits of agony, fixated on your face. 

“I’m leaving. Running away,” you pushed forward with this bitter truth. Even if Tomio was never the shining paradigm of a father, he deserved to know the implications his harsh control had over your miserable life.

“Did you know Shuji has been cheating on me all this while? He has a mistress and he loves her. More than me. Not even my own husband can find it in his soul to love me, but what did I expect?” A mirthless laugh left your aching lips. “That I was loveable? That I was special? I understand now. I understand my place in this world.” 

Lifting your wet eyes, you pinned him to the spot. A bit of drool was tricking down his parted mouth and you wiped it away with your sleeve. 

“If you recover, don’t search for me. I’m not your daughter anymore. I’m divorcing Shuji and leaving him behind. My baby girl will not carry Shuji’s name or yours.” Closing your eyes briefly, you gathered your strength and stood up on shaky legs. Tomio grunted frantically, trying to get you to stop. But, you did not hear him, covering your ears with cotton; coating your soul with antipathy. 

You spared the broken man drowning in his sheets one last look, his watery eyes dominating your vision. Trying hard to memorise the curve of the nose you inherited from him, the slight jut of the chin that was unmistakably an L/N family trait. You burned them down one memory at a time, leaving only a ringing white canvas behind. 

Tomio made a sound in the back of his throat that sounded awfully like your name.

You regarded him with a smile that did not touch your red-rimmed eyes. “Goodbye, tou-chan. I wish you well.”

His frantic grunts and muffled sobs resounded around the room, but you did not turn back. Did not want to take any pleasure in his suffering because at the end of the day, you were not cruel like your father. Your mother’s famed patience and her resilience flowed in your veins, canceling out that monster’s misdeeds. You were never L/N Tomio’s daughter.

Chifuyu greeted you with a frown when he noticed your red-rimmed eyes and defeated air.

“Y/N—”

“Take me home, please.” You rested a hand on your belly and every man intrinsically knew. The last thing they wanted was for Tomio’s grandchild to suffer under the immense stress its mother was facing.

“Shuji-san gave me a call,” Chifuyu murmured, impervious to you stiffening at the sound of his name. “He wanted to know if you were alright because you were not answering your phone.” The BMW’s door was pried open, and you got into the back seat, waiting for the dark-haired man to follow you. An underling drove you and Chifuyu back to the penthouse in Akasaka, and you remained like stone under his flitting worry.

“Y/N—”

Sensing he wanted to unearth the deeper reason as to why you were completely silent, you shook your head. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Ever a sweet man, Chifuyu tried to comfort you. “He will be fine. Tomio will recover well.”

It was to his surprise when you leaned forward, clicking the button to activate the car’s divider, leaving the both of you in a sound-proof bubble of tension.

“Y/N—”

“Tell me the truth, Chifuyu,” you began, the knot in your stomach tight. You massaged your abdomen, and he flickered his ocean eyes to that minute movement. “Shuji is cheating on me, is he not?”

How it burned to have those words pass your lips. You were not the only one feeling its callous effects. Chifuyu winced, and he turned his gaze towards the outside world, buying time to reply.

“You don’t have to lie to me,” your voice was feeble even to your own ears. “I know the truth. It’s that secretary, isn’t it? Ichika?” 

Her name was the catalyst for Chifuyu to defrost. He peeled his eyes from the blurry scenery, the rain pelting down in streaks that filled the car with white noise. The driver in the front cleared his throat out of habit, remaining oblivious to the solemn conversation. 

“Yes.”

You closed your eyes, turning your face away.

“I did not tell you because—”

“Does everyone know?” A listless quality befell your tone. You felt like you were about to break apart. “Am I the last to know that my own husband has been unfaithful to me?”

Chifuyu exhaled. “Kisaki does not know. Shuji would not tell him because—”

“It would jeapordise the deal. I see.” Your frosty exterior fractured and you hiccuped a sob. It was your hormones flaring, the stress and heartbreak catching up fast. You had to get home quick.

“What will you do?”

The dark-haired man cautiously murmured. You did not know what to say to him. “Will you leave? Are you planning to divorce him?”

You blanched. Were your intentions that obvious?

As if hearing your thoughts, Chifuyu exhaled. “I know it must be a blow to you and you want to leave this place as soon as you can. I understand.”

Shaking your head, you murmured, “I do not know.” As anticlimactic as it was, this was the truth. “I do not know what I should do next.”

Whatever you expected Chifuyu to say, it was not this: “Let me help you.”

You assessed him carefully. Matsuno Chifuyu was by no means a man whose trust was given freely. He demanded loyalty from his men—a measure of character that made his division stand out from the rest of the greasy thugs in Toman. Any man who is worth their salt would have Chifuyu’s trust and fealty. You were surprised you had his.

“What about Shuji?” you cautiously murmured. “What if he finds out you helped me?”

“He would not.” 

You were quietly reeling from the unflinching reassurance in his tone. “Shuji deserves to never have you in his life, ever again. Y/N, I’ve always wanted to help you ever since the moment I found out about what that bastard did to you. I just couldn’t open my mouth because I did not want to strain your healing process.”

Something in your chest twinged. “Is that the truth?”

Chifuyu nodded, a fire you had never seen before in his brilliant, azure eyes. It half-scared you. “I wouldn't lie to you, Y/N.”

The car rolled to a stop, but you barely noticed. You were locked in a battle of trust and surrender. To give Chifuyu a chance to help was to rely on yet another person in your life whose true intentions were dubious at best. But on the flip side, the ache in your chest, the wounded little girl who only ever wanted someone to hold her hand, could’ve wept with relief.

Finally, she screamed, happiness streaking down her face. Someone loves me enough to care.

The unseen, but ever present burden you carried obstinately to shoulder that little girl’s heavy sadness and dejection was lifted. 

“Okay.”

Chifuyu let you hold onto his arm when you stepped out, and for once, you did not fear the rain. Not when he was by your side.

He helped you up the penthouse elevator, careful to never let go of your elbow. He was soaked from the tip of his head down to his toes, but that bright fire never dissipated from his gaze. 

It carried a flicker of hope in you, a little flame that licked and danced underneath your heart. Igniting it to hold fast to your resolve to let your walls falter and put your trust in him.

“Take what you need.”

You did as he said, moving your limbs mechanically. Inside your purse, your phone vibrated. You fished for it, removing the damning device and seething in rage at the name flashing on the screen.

Shuji was stubbornly trying to reach you. 15 missed calls and a few more texts. You didn’t bother to read them. Chifuyu watched as you rushed towards the balcony, sliding open the door and tossing your phone right into the sea of lights where it nosedived down fifty stories. Sure to shatter into a million pieces upon impact on the granite pavement.

By a tiny margin, you felt lighter. Chifuyu did not comment on the stormy anger swirling in your countenance, standing a little to the side as you raged, bubbled and seethed, your true emotions allowed to prowl like a tiger finally set free into the wild. You were ruthless, stuffing your clothes in your tote bag, taking cash, burner cards and phones. Stocking up as if an apocalypse was soon to happen.

Through it all, he never broke the silence, watching you work until eventually, you ran out of steam. He saw it in the slump of your shoulders, the teeming anger you held fastidiously to propel you slowly ebbing away til you were left with teary eyes and an air of grief.

He approached you slowly, getting down on one knee, watching while you sobbed into your palms, tears like the fattest diamonds trickling down your face.

You could not look at him—at this yakuza underboss who was as much part of your father’s world as you once was. Could not bear for him to see you this heartbroken.

“Y/N—”

“You must think I-I’m weak.” 

Surprise coloured your features when he gripped your hand, squeezing it. Cajoling you to look into his eyes. “Look at me—hey, c’mon—look at me.”

You slowly lifted your eyes to find his azure ones boring into yours. It made you want to flinch, cry and curl into a ball at the same time.

“Y/N, you’re so fucking strong. Don’t you see? Anyone who is in your position would’ve broken apart into pieces. I wouldn’t even be able to lift my head,” he emphasised. “Don’t make yourself small. You’re so much bigger than you think you are.”

Chifuyu, stop. Your expression crumpled and you were unable to stomach the hurt any longer. It exploded in a loud cry, one that took him aback.

“I don’t want to be strong!” you shrieked, blubbering almost violently. Mama, help me. You held onto your belly, sobbing ardently. “Don’t you see? I want to be loved.” 

Five words. A whole world of pain that opened right before your eyes. 

The insurmountable ache came to its fever pitch. 

“No one loves me!” your words fragmented across the empty room, backed up by your unceasing sobs. 

Chifuyu’s wide eyes dominated your vision; the silence stretching on. “My father hates me… he’s made it very clear he never wanted me in his life,” you blubbered, holding onto your midsection. God, it hurts… it hurts so fucking much. Every fibre of your being was falling apart, the sobs you held at bay overpowering you, drowning you in its endless waves of pain that found no shore.

Like a flimsy boat wrecked in the middle of the storm, there was nothing you could hold onto—nothing that you would anchor the pain.

Snot and tears coagulated down your face, and you turned your body away, unable to handle the mere thought of someone seeing you this vulnerable. Your voice shook, brittle as broken glass. “My husband betrayed me. He doesn’t love me… he made me feel so ugly and pathetic. So, don’t lie to me, Fuyu. Don’t you dare fucking lie to me and tell me I mean something. I’m worthless. I’m nothing. No one loves me.” A loud sob tore through you, ripping apart the seams of your restraint. 

It was true, wasn’t it?

You never had anyone in your life. Unloved since day one, no one had ever shown you a shred of kindness. The universe aligned against you—born into a family rich with everything but love. Beaten, ignored. Neglected. Then, you were thrusted into a marriage where you were played like a pawn till the very bitter end. And now, you were pregnant with the baby of a man who would kill you in a heartbeat if it wasn’t for his deal with Toman. 

Why am I still alive?  God, you squeezed hard around your belly, holding onto the last vestiges of your sanity. Make it end; kill me, please. 

Chifuyu pressed his shaky palms around yours. Those molten crystal eyes misted over with tears, and his jaw ticked from the restrained anger and devastation on your behalf. He tried to get you to look at him, but everytime his cool fingers prised your face up to meet him, your eyes would dart away, swollen and brimming with perpetual misery.

It pained him to see you like this; so broken and beaten from the unjustness of your situation. 

“Hey—hey… look at me. Look at me, Y/N. Your baby does—your baby loves you.” Chifuyu’s firm but fragile voice cut through the shattering glass of your fragile thoughts. “Y/N, your baby adores you. You mean the world to him or her. And I… I love you.” 

You shook your head, dislodging more tears that seeped into your white blouse. “You’re lying to me. Stop lying.”

His calloused hands tighten around yours. “You want me to prove it? Fuck, fine, I-I’ll proof it.” The sound of his sharp inhale rattled in his chest. 

“The first time you ever smiled at me felt like the fucking sun opening my damn eyes to the world. I’ve loved you since then—since you got into my car, scolded me to respect your boundaries, and drank with me until you stumbled in those fucking ridiculous heels. I love you. And I’m sorry that bastard made you doubt yourself, but you are not your thoughts, Y/N. You are more than that. You mean so much more.”

Hiccupping back your sobs, you finally found the strength to lift your head, falling into those sincere, crystal blue currents. Your body moved before your brain could catch up; Chifuyu did not impede your touch. 

You twined your fingers in his hair, dragging them down his face, and cupping his cheek. The dark-haired man dared not move or speak, letting you trace the rough skin of his chin with the pad of your index finger. No words were spouted between you, and there didn’t need to be any.

Your lips did the talking—rasping warmly against his. His arms came to wrap around you, holding your trembling body fast to his chest. Chifuyu tasted like mint and sunshine, the warmth of his broad muscles underneath your palms bleeding into your skin.

On instinct, you parted your mouth and he took the chance to slip his tongue inside your warm cavern, tasting your honeyed moans and breathy little gasps. 

Fuck. Matsuno Chifuyu could see why Hanma Shuji had fallen for you. It was incredibly easy to do so; every soft curve of your body from your gravid breasts to your arching back dripped with feminine submission. How easily you lost yourself in a man’s touch, how you bloomed open like a peony in the summer under heated palms. 

He roamed his hands down your sides, over your belly and right in between your legs. You mewled into his mouth when he started to trace the swell of your clit through your panties, finding a wet spot slowly forming on the modest cotton, driving him insane. Chifuyu groaned, and you eagerly lapped up his hunger, taking it down your throat with a whisper of his name.

Something about your breathy tone forming the cadence of him, was enough to make Chifuyu see stars.

One second you were perched on the loveseat, tears down your face, and the next, you were in his arms, straddling his lap. 

“‘Fuyu—”

“I know,” he mumbled against the flush of your throat. “I’ll make it so good for you, baby.”

Shuji used to call you ‘baby’. Your heart squeezed and tears shone in your eyes. There was no way you could go through with this, not when Chifuyu was earnestly suckling on your pulse point, his hands kneading your swollen tits. 

“Chifuyu, I can’t.” A catch in your voice spoke volumes of your pain. He stilled his descent down the graceful column of your neck, his hands falling to his side. 

“You love him,” his breath played with the loose strands of your hair. This close, he smelled like cigarettes and oranges. “I understand. It’s all still fresh for you.”

You nodded, hiding your face behind a curtain of your hair, you eased off his lap, wrapping your arms around your knees. Unable to look at him, you were quietly stunned when Chifuyu lifted your face to meet his own. The same fire as before burned in those brilliant eyes, and you were close to immolating yourself in the temptation of his embrace.

Chifuyu’s kiss-swollen lips quirked into a smile, the pink dusting on his cheeks endearing. “But, I will wait for you, Y/N. I promise you this. You’re worth the wait.”

The poignancy roaring in your chest, the blood flooding your brain; none of them were quite as potent as Chifuyu’s small admission. It was to your own detriment that you swallowed your tears and straddled his lap again, those large, warm palms holding you steady. Giving you the push you needed to take the final step of crossing a line you could never come back from.

But, hadn’t Shuji also crossed that same line?

As if sensing your thoughts heavy with him, Chifuyu mustered a lustreless chuckle. “If you want to use me to take revenge on him, be my guest, Y/N. I will happily offer myself up for your service.”

Your swollen eyes, the downturn lines of your mouth, even the baby burgeoning in your belly that belonged to another man could not deter the flame he held for you. For Chifuyu saw beyond your exterior, beyond the princess taught to put everyone’s happiness above her own. He saw a strong woman, right at the precipice of her life. A flower blooming from a crack in the asphalt. 

He saw a strength he had never encountered before in a woman, and it tiltillated him to no end; earning his respect and admiration. 

You closed your eyes, indecision rippling across your features. In a split second, it solidified into a grimace, and the glint of determination you held sparked like a livewire. Chifuyu held his breath. Allowed himself to be carried away when you tugged him down for a bruising kiss and reached for his belt, unzipping his pants. 

His cock breached your tight hole, and he exhaled a low moan, settling onto the hardwood floor (the same ones your husband walked day and night), as you swirled your hips, taking him in deeper. He tongued your pert and swollen nipples, suckling on them as you rode him with such frenzy it made him dizzy. 

You choked out his name and he bucked his hips upward, grazing your sweet spot. Your eyes rolled back in your head, your mouth falling slack and you breathed hard, whispering for him to cum. 

Your thighs would tense around him, and you held onto his shoulders with such determination, it would make him proud if you were truly his woman. His seed coated your walls, his kisses smothering your mouth and you let him. Let him plunder and use you; let him press his lips to your hair and fall into a quick doze.

Later, when he would open his eyes in a daze, he would find the penthouse empty. 

Your bags, your sweet smile, the lust ingrained in your features… had all dissipated like a dream.

He pulled his shirt back on, dressing stiffly, searching for you in every room, but ultimately got distracted by his buzzing phone.

Hanma’s name flashing on the screen inspired little fear in him, not when he knew off the full truth of the other man’s folly. 

“Matsuno?” Clipped and low, it was not hard to tell that his superior was stressed. “My wife. Is she alright? She has not answered any of my calls.” 

Chifuyu toyed with the idea of telling him the truth, but one look around the frozen, empty penthouse gave him pause, and he decided that Shuji needed to see for himself. See his marriage dissolve with his own two eyes. So, he lied through his teeth.

“Let me reach her. I’m still on the road back from the warehouse.” Not entirely a duplicity. The half-truth hummed in the back of his throat like the pleasant buzz of an alcoholic drink.

“Oh.” Shuji exhaled. “Let me know when you do.” The line clicked shut.

Good luck on that, buddy. With your phone smashed into smithereens and your whereabouts unknown, Chifuyu could only presume you had escaped while he was in the fugue of his post-orgasmic haze. Smart girl.

You were proving to be a vixen indeed, and it didn’t put him off. Chifuyu was actually spellbound by your brilliance. 

But, he could not admire your spunk for long. He had to search for you—not to share with Hanma your location, god no. That bastard did not deserve you. Purely selfish, his true intentions were to take care of you. Be your saviour.

Since he was a boy, he had dreamed of being a woman’s salvation. The printed panels filled with declarations of love hummed in him like a guiding star as he left the penthouse, hell bent on flushing out every district in Tokyo until you turned up.

Matsuno Chifuyu wanted you, and he would not stop at any lengths til this beguiling woman—this seductress veiled with innocence—would be in his arms once again.

Shuji was completely soaked. 

From head to toe, the rain had seeped into his clothes, his skin, weighing the ends of his hair heavily. He shook off the excess water, minding the puddles pooling underneath his dress shoes. Shucking them off, he carried the box of takeout food in his hand like a warrior returning from battle with the enemy’s head for his beloved monarch, careful to set it on the console table.

In his other hand, he carried a bag full of baby clothes, ointments for swollen joints and more nausea medication, a surprise for his beloved wife.

Y/N must be asleep. He had heard from Iroto about Tomio, and there was little doubt you would be conflicted. Shuji could understand—he had once been in your shoes. When his father passed on, he was half-agony, half-relief. The man who had made him bleed countless of times, who made his mother’s life a living hell, was finally buried six feet under.

But, on some days, it felt like he was still relieving his father’s death. Still in that empty morgue. Still standing under the rain as they buried the last remaining family member he had left, far away from his mother’s own resting place. Shuji was adamant on not leaving his parents together, knowing it would be what Hanma Tsuki wanted. 

If she could not find peace in her waking life, her only son would make sure she had the eternal felicity she deserved in death. 

“Y/N?” his voice echoed off the empty penthouse. He peeled off his wet jacket from his broad frame, frowning at the resounding silence.

“Doll? Y/N? I bought some dumb baby stuff for Shusei and food for you. Are you hungry?”

His voice carried like the echo of a lost ghost. A chill ran down his spine. Shuji set the items down the table, mind ablaze with traumatic images of you dead or dying. Heart in his throat, he was intimately cognizant with your withdrawn personality. She would never… Y/N would never let someone like her father affect her this much. 

Scouring the living room, he was assaulted with your fragrance, but no sight of you. The bedroom was empty save for a scattering of jewels on the floor. Fuck… did we get robbed? Despite the space looking pretty much pristine as how he left it before his mission, there were a few notable items missing.

Your tote bag, your favourite pair of earrings. The large pendant on the diamond necklace he gifted you. 

His chest felt strangely empty when he reached forward to gather the stray gems. Tucking them in his closed fist, he surveyed the room, a sense of foreboding so strong, it choked out every last fibre of rationalism in him.

Shuji walked out of the room slowly, like a sleepwalker strolling through his worst nightmare. 

The food you prepared for yourself on the stove was in a pot as cold as ice. The fridge was filled to the brim. The cupboards were packed with unopened boxes of Kraft Mac ‘n’ Cheese.

Yet, you were nowhere to be found.

He darted his brimming gaze towards the kitchen table, and something shimmery caught his eye. 

Upon closer inspection, it was your wedding ring, and underneath it, a single sheet of paper.

There was a tremble in his palm that was not borne from the rain water chilling him to the bone. 

Only six words were written on the otherwise blank page, but it was enough to render him mute and rooted to the spot. Drowning in waves of disbelief, rage and complete regret.

Shuji unclenched his fist and the diamonds scattered to the ground, the skittering sounds loud in his ears roaring with blood and rash accusations.

Cursing his stupidity. Cursing his folly. 

Six words. 

A whole world of pain that delivered itself like a deathblow straight to his core.

I know the truth. It’s over. 

Shuji did not break as much as he shattered.

The longest hours of his life where time felt like it slowed down to infinity were dotted with flashes of lucidity where he briefly came to his senses that he was acting like a man who had lost his mind. 

With his hair mused from his shaky hands running through his thick locks one too many times and his eyes red-rimmed, Shuji raced around Tokyo searching for you.

He dug up every resource he could find to scour the city for his missing wife. Underlings who were wrenched from strip clubs, illegal underground fights, and even a dentist appointment had no choice but to comply with their boss’ wishes of searching for his errant wife. But, after hours of flitting around the city, keeping their eyes peeled and ears sharp, they could not find the elusive woman that had turned the great Reaper’s heart inside out. 

She had vanished into thin air, they told him. Train lines, motels, clinics. Everywhere they went, they found no trace of her. 

Once the sun broke over the horizon like the spilling of a watery golden yolk, he called off the search. Tired men slumped back into their homes and into the arms of weary prostitutes. Underground scums returning back to the cesspit they came from. For Shuji, he went home. 

Or, what was left of home.

The penthouse was starkly quiet, every ragged breath he inhaled rattling around the space. Your fragrance lingered, and like a man haunted by the vengeful ghosts of his past, he stumbled into the large and desolate bedroom, straight to the vanity table where your Chanel perfume lay innocuously on the lacquered surface.

He sprayed some onto his wrist, the woodsy warm vanilla calming him; letting him pretend that you were right in his arms for a split second when he fell into a jagged, restless sleep.

Dreams of your sweet face contorting into a snarl, of your tears turning into peals of mirthless laughter rang in his subconscious. You were smashing your wedding ring into pieces. You reached inside your womb and tore his baby from the root of where that sweet soul grew. 

I hate you. I hate you. I hate you, Shuji.

Venomous words dripped from your lax mouth. You cried rivers of blood, begging him to undo his sins towards you. You’re a fucking monster, Hanma Shuji. 

Shuji awoke with a start to dusk.

One day. He blinked his dry eyes and stared at the ceiling, completely exhausted. One day without my Y/N.

He continued with his search. Soon, a day turned into two, and on the third day, he was informed by his subordinates that L/N Tomio had passed on in restless sleep. They told him that the old man never stopped grunting his daughter’s name, calling out to her even when he took his final breath. He must’ve known about Y/N. So, the man did have a heart. Too bad his only child was not here to see it. 

I am always the last man standing. Shuji watched as they took his father-in-law’s body and buried it in a white cloth. Yakuza bosses were little more than broken men at the end of their lives, and the funeral was a pathetic affair. Men who fought alongside Tomio for his whole life did not even bother to be at his wake to pay him their respects. Besides Shuji, a scattering of Toman numbers and a weathered man who identified himself as Tomio’s estranged younger brother, no one else was present at the wake.

He was sitting at a lowered chabudai, drinking some sake when a low baritone broke his mindless concentration.

“Hanma Shuji?”

Your uncle was staring at him, smile genial and the first signs of liver spots dotting his wide cheeks. “You are Tomio’s son-in-law, yes?” 

Your discarded wedding ring weighed heavily in his breast pocket, giving him the strength to see this day through. “Yes.”

“Where is my niece? Did she not want to attend her own father’s funeral?” 

Shuji did not answer him. He asked a question of his own. “Are you L/N Dan’s father? The one who is the heir?” 

The older man tutted and sat down next to him, helping himself to a spare cup of sake. “Heavens, no. I am Touma. L/N Touma. The youngest brother.”

Touma. The exiled one.

Shuji had briefly heard about your other uncle the day he arrived at your mansion to finalise the engagement with your father. A pacifist and the only L/N brother who did not follow down the dark path, Touma was a blip in the Blood Phoenix’s history. A flaw. Easily erased. Instead of being ruthless and bloodthirsty like his brothers, he chose a life of enlightening students on the wonders of Japanese literary prose. 

Something told Hanma Shuji that should you have known your uncle better, he would’ve been your favorite person in the world. 

“She’s not here, is she?”

The sadness in your uncle’s tone made Shuji’s gut tighten.

“No,” he admitted. 

Touma took one good look at him.

“And you have no idea where she is, don’t you?” 

Shuji lifted his eyes from the sake glass, his gaze flashing. Touma gave him a toothy grin. 

“I heard everything about my niece’s affairs. Word does travel fast even if you are an outcast.” The old man knocked back the glass and winced, kissing his teeth. “To tell you honestly, I was hoping she would be here. I’ve been waiting for twenty-one years to tell her the truth.”

The reaper stilled, waiting for the other man’s next words. The funny thing about grief is that it can loosen one’s tongue more effectively than the world’s strongest drink. And Touma looked like the kind of man who was perpetually nursing a hangover from holding onto a lie.

“Tomio was not her father,” Touma muttered wistfully, looking off into the distance. “I am.”

Shuji swore he heard his heart crack. The beatings, the antagonizing, the sufferings you endured at that monster’s hand… it all became clear now. But, what the other man could never figure out was what could’ve caused you to stay with a man who was not your own flesh and blood in the first place when your real father was still alive and breathing? 

The answer came to him borne on the wings of a heavy sigh. 

“Tomio’s wife—Meiko—was the only woman I have ever loved.” He poured himself another shot of sake. Shuji did not miss how his hands were shaking. “We were young and foolish. I got Meiko pregnant with Y/N when Tomio was at the height of his career. Before Tomio cleaned up my mess, Meiko and I were inseparable. In fact, all of us grew up with her and when I heard what I had done… I must confess, I did a cowardly thing.” His eyes turned glassy, and in this light, they looked almost like the curve of yours. “I left Y/N’s mother and went to the States. I never came back for her or for my baby. And then, when I finally mustered up the courage to face her, I found out she had passed away and my Y/N—my sweet girl—was raised by a man who worshipped the ground Meiko walked on but despised the reminder of me. Despised my baby.”

Touma chuckled hollowly. “I was so wracked by guilt that I never came back. I never stepped foot in Tokyo ever again. I let my daughter think that brute was her father and I never came back for her, I never—”

Shuji slammed his cup of sake down, cracking the glass. The air stilled. Electricity crackled in between his fingers, his heart fracturing into two. Touma’s lower lip wobbled.

“You should’ve come back for her. Maybe she would’ve known a father’s true love if you had just manned the fuck up and raised her.” Tears pricked in his eyes, and Touma’s countenance turned reticent.

“Even so. I heard the conditions for the marriage he imposed on you two. I also heard—pardon my intrusion—that it was far from a happy union.”

Shuji’s jaw clenched and he shot to his feet, his patience wearing thin for this sorry excuse of a man. “Whatever it is you heard, it’s far too late to give a shit about a woman who’s not even here.” His sneer pulled taut over his gaunt cheekbones, golden eyes manic with loss. “Don’t you see? She left me. Your daughter, niece, whatever the fuck she is to you—she’s pregnant with my baby and she left me because I was a piece of shit to her. A lying, cheating, fucking piece of shit. So in a way, you and I are the same—we’re both assholes in our own right.” 

He was breathing hard, tears beading in his lash line.

“But, the d-difference between you and I… the difference is that I will never stop searching for her. I will never abandon her like you did. I love her. I love her so much she’s all I can think about. I—”

He sucked in a sharp breath, clenching his jaw and turning his face away. The tears continued to pool in the back of his eyelids. 

Touma stood up and his eyes, so much like yours, bored into the side of Shuji’s face. He expected the older man to hit him, to avenge his daughter with a swift right hook that the younger man knew he deserved. He wouldn’t stop his strike; he would welcome it.

But, what he got instead was a hand on his shoulder, a pressure that echoed forlornly with a similar loss.

“Trust me.” Touma’s empty tone was haunting, his vacant eyes even more perturbing. “I know.” 

The older man patted his arm before he shuffled out of the empty wake room, his parting whisper hanging in the desolate silence. 

“I know what that regret feels like.” 

You awoke with a start, skin slicked with sweat. 

Outside, the world was shimmering with a starting pour that covered the world in a curtain of rain. You shrank back from the window when lightning arced ahead, and you tasted the fear in the back of your throat. 

As irrational as it was, you despised the downpour, and you curled back underneath the motel’s blanket, shivering. 

Thunder clapped and you clamped down on a shriek when the quick flash illuminated a figure outside the window, mere feet away from your frozen body. His hair slicked with rain, those oceanic eyes scanned the decrepit building, like he was debating if he should search the place. You hunched down the windowsill further when his gaze flitted past your position. 

Chifuyu had his hands in his pocket, a purse on his lips. Roving those listless eyes down the street, he bowed his head and walked down the street. You exhaled. 

Sitting with your back against the headboard, you quickly shook your head and tugged the threadbare curtains tightly shut, cutting off the sliver of orange street light illuminating your room.

Your tired eyes circled over your bare essentials; the bundle of clothes, the dwindling supply of cash. Come tomorrow, you were getting on the first train out of Tokyo and towards the closest airport. You just had enough money to book a one-way flight to Singapore. You would raise your baby away from this life. Away from the haunting skyscrapers of this great metropolis.

Anything to remove yourself from this world. 

A loud knock on the door interrupted your thoughts. The doorknob rattled and you shrank back, breathing hitched.

“Y/N?” 

Your stomach fell. How did he…?

“It’s ‘Fuyu. Hey. Can you open up? I’m just here to talk. You don’t have to be afraid.”

The sincerity shone brightly in his tone, and you cursed how sloppily you had left a trail. But, Chifuyu was a Toman leader. He had connections beyond your pathetic position. Finding you was as easy as asking the right person, and you supposed that was exactly what he had done.

“Y/N? Hey? You there?” 

Ungluing your limbs, you shuffled towards the door, holding onto your swelling belly, pausing inches from the thin wood. It was telling that Chifuyu gave you a choice to bridge the gap between him and the barrier. If he wanted to, he could easily break down the hinges and forcefully barge into the room.

But, he didn’t. He waited. 

You took in a shuddering breath. “What are you doing here?” 

A brief second of silence stretched between you both. “I came here to help you. And to share some news with you. May I come in?”

Hand on the knob, you debated for a second. Chifuyu seemed to read your mind.

“I’m not here to take you back to Toman. I won’t do that to you. I just want to talk and check up on you, Y/N.”

Heart in your throat, you glanced down at your rumpled silk nightie, and hastily tugged on a cardigan, remembering with searing clarity the hot lines of his muscular body against yours. Despite your reservations, your heart squeezed, and you swallowed down on your hesitation, opening the door. 

His forlorn expression brightened infinitesimally at your uncertain countenance.

“Y/N.” 

You stepped back, wary of being within arms length to him. There was no telling what was going on in Chifuyu’s mind. His blue eyes were stormy, brewing worse than the downpour outside.

Trickles of water beaded on his lashes, and he studied your features, waiting for you to speak.

“What do you want?” Your voice cracked, and you hated how small you sounded.

The edge in his blue orbs softened, and somehow, you knew what he was going to say before he opened his mouth.

“I want to—”

“No.” 

His lips thinned into a frown and yours parted in surprise at how readily you defied another person without another thought to their feelings. You were a stranger even to yourself.

“Oh. I was about to tell you I want to help. I know you need to escape Tokyo, but I have to give you fair warning.” Nothing could prepare you for what he said next. “Shuji has men everywhere in the city looking for you. He’s getting desperate.” 

It didn’t make sense. Your head spun, and your lower lip was caught between your teeth. 

Chifuyu lowered his voice. “It’s not safe for me to be here. Can I come in?”

Confused by this turn of events, you let him into your room. Those blue eyes shimmered in the half-light, and you perched yourself on the edge of the lumpy mattress while he stood by the door. Despite the distance and his soaked clothes, you could still feel his warmth radiating from where you sat. 

“Shuji is devastated. He’s a fucking mess. I spoke to Iroto and he told me that bastard hasn’t slept for days.”

What does this have to do with me? You steeled your heart and cooled your gaze. “Oh. I see.”

Unperturbed by your lack of reactions, Chifuyu continued. “I also believe you deserve to know this… but, your father is dead. He passed on a few days ago. Shuji was the one who buried him.”

That gave you pause. Your chest twinged and you sucked in a sharp breath. Tou-san. You blinked your glistening eyes and nodded, head bowing forward. “Thank you for keeping me informed.”

Another stretch of silence. Chifuyu took one step forward, and at your lack of reaction, he took one more. And another. Until he was standing right in front of you. His knees touched the ground and he slowly reached out to grip your shaking palms. When you didn’t push him away, he squeezed, begging you without words to lift your head and look him in the eyes.

“I was so worried about you.”

Your fingers twitched in his grasp. “How did you find me?”

“It wasn’t easy, but I got wind of a single female living alone in a rundown motel. Word came back that she was far too clean-looking to belong to these streets. I put two and two together.”

You quirked a joyless smile. “Well, here I am. Happy with what you see?”

He was sincerity personified when he said, “I’m just glad you’re safe.”

Safe. The word melted like a bitter drop on your tongue. “So, what are you going to do now that you found me? Are you gonna rat me out to Shuji?”

Chifuyu snorted, shaking his head lightly. A few raindrops dislodged from the tips of his raven hair and flecked onto your exposed knees. “Why would I do that? I told you, I want to help.”

Finally, your eyes met his. A world of pain and conflict swirled in them, echoing the forlorn sobriety in his. 

“I want to help,” he said again, softer. “You deserve someone to help you so please, lean on me, Y/N.”

A sob bubbled from the back of your throat, and tears sprang down your cheeks, faintly shining in the dead of the night. “I want to. But, I’m scared, ‘Fuyu. I’m so scared.”

“Don’t be,” he straightened, and gathered you into his arms. Your cheek pressed right to his pulse point, and you could smell his musk, taste the rain and salt from his skin. Chifuyu was careful to not overwhelm you with too much physical contact, and the press of his body next to yours was comforting rather than salacious.

He kissed your forehead.

“Tomorrow, I’m sending you on a train out of Tokyo. You can go to the closest airport and book the next flight to another country. I’ll—”

“No,” your vehemance was quieter this time. Chifuyu opened his mouth to retort, but you beat him to the punch. “There’s somewhere else I need to go. A safer place.” 

“A safer place? Where is it?” 

His curiosity was a flickering ember in the night.

You quelled it with the oddest answer.

“An apartment complex in Minato. Shuji will never find me there.”

Chifuyu’s confusion was palpable.

“But, before I do that, I have to handle something if you would consent to help me.” 

One hand curled on your belly, it was a losing fight to hold back the tears and the horrifying self-loathing deep within your soul. The battle was over before it even began. 

Don’t do this, your inner voice screamed. Don’t do it!

“Y/N? What is it—“

“I need you to take me to the abortion clinic and help me sign the permission slip,” your lower lip wobbled, fresh tears cascading down your face. Beside you, Chifuyu was made of stone. 

“I need your help to finally cut all ties with Shuji.”

The sorry excuse for a reaper stared out at the revolving world below his feet, holding a glass of whiskey tightly in his fist.

Golden eyes untouched by sleep and dark with despair mapped the turns and dips of Tokyo sprawled open like a patchwork quilt, listless in both actions and thought. His phone buzzed, but he let it go to voicemail. Too many times his hopes were raised, only for it to come crashing down when yet another report of his underling’s inability to find you reached his jaded ears. 

Shuji was tired.

More than that, he was exhausted.

Every morning, he would greet the world with mentally taxing thoughts of your well-being; where you were, if you were safe, and if—his throat tightened—if Shusei was well. 

His lost family. 

The glass of whiskey fell to the floor, his shaky hand unable to grasp onto it. 

Fuck. He would have to call someone to clean up this mess.  

Shuji breathed heavily, and his pocket vibrated again. Cursing, he fished for his phone, and when he heard who it was on the other line, he nearly growled.

“Shu—“

“Why do you still have my number?”

His clipped annoyance deterred her from replying. She cleared her throat and pushed on despite his irritation. “I wanted to give you my condolences on your father-in-law’s passing. I hope you and your family are okay.”

Family. Shuji’s eyes stung. He exhaled. “Sure. Thanks.”

He was about to end the call when Ichika’s next words stopped him short. “That is if Y/N is still there with you.”

“Huh—“

She ended the call, leaving him perplexed and reeling. Before he could dial his ex-mistress back to ask her exactly what the fuck she meant, someone knocked on his door.

“What?” Shuji gnashed his teeth when he saw it was Iroto. The underling bowed low, and spoke through stiff lips.

“Sir, I apologize for entering without permission, but there is something you must know.”

From the lapels of his coat, Iroto procured a brown envelope. Its contents became of interest to Shuji who watched impassively when the other man removed more than ten glossy photos. 

His heart lurched when it registered in his sleep-deprived mind who it was in those images. 

In every shiny square, your face was a sweet beam that served to heighten his curiosity, not quench it. You looked as fatigued as he did, and an air of despair was conscripted in the lines of your sweet expression. But, that was not the only thing that caught Shuji’s eye.

The familiar sign, the grey walls, and potted plants in front of what many assumed was a nondescript clinic. Shuji knew better. 

This was the same clinic he had meant to take Ichika for her abortion.

He stared numbly at the tears in your eyes, the pinch in your brow. The grief splashed out so clearly in this damning evidence of his destroyed hopes.

“When—“ Shuji’s voice failed him. “When did you take these photos?”

“Early this morning. My men had to develop these to make sure it was really her.” A beat of hesitation. “I’m sorry, sir.”

Iroto bowed, hastily shuffling out of the office before he could be subjected to the reaper’s infamous temper. Shuji was barely breathing. He stared holes into your countenance, memorizing the curve of your brow, the fall of your hair. 

Y/N… did you really do this? He sat back in his chair, letting the waves of self-hatred and loathing drag him under. I had no idea how much my actions affected you.

Shakily, he grasped onto the photos, the only living proof that you still roamed the same earth as him and held it close to his chest. His phone was regrettably empty of your sweet face, his ego never letting him consent to falling in love with his own wife—not even to taking photos of her—and for the upteenth time, Shuji cursed himself out. 

If only you had loved her sooner… if only you had stopped being an asshole… maybe your wife would still be here with you today.

Despicable. He was disgusting. 

Shuji pitched his head forward, breathing hard. He tossed the pictures aside, shooting to his feet and flipping his chair in the process; a loud cry wrenched from his lips as he started hurling pens, books, expensive ornaments into the opposite wall where they rebounded or shattered from the force of his grief. His anger was a typhoon, unbridled in its lust for destruction. He slammed his fists into the drywalls, leaving multiple indentations from the strength of his throws, and ripped his tie off, tugging on the roots of his hair with shaky fingers. 

Sorrow lined his muffled cries and he fell to his knees in the middle of the destroyed room, curling into a pitiful ball. The 6’5 renowned reaper of souls, who would not blink twice at gouging a man’s eyes out while he still stood breathing, was made up of heaving sobs and unrelenting regret for how he treated his wife.

Y/N… Shusei…

His heavy sobs reverberated across the room, and he wished you were right in front of him in this instance. You would know what to do; how to calm him down. Everything about you was goodness personified and he had lost out on the one person in his life who truly gave a shit about him. 

Worthless… he’ll grow up to be so worthless. A man’s face, so much like his own, sneering down at his trembling mother whose arms were like vines of protection around his frozen body. A complete waste of space—I should’ve killed him when I had a chance to. 

Shuji started giggling, his peals of laughter turning manic. Are you happy now? He cackled. Are you happy now, you bastard? You got what you wished for. I’m detestable. No one loves me and okasan is dead. Tell me, you fucking shithead—are you happy?

Pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes, he blubbered a watery laugh. Looks like your words are right, otou-san. I am a waste of space.

“What’s going on?”

Hanma peeled his watery eyes towards the doorway where Kisaki cut an imposing figure. His ice blue orbs were wary, surveying the remnants of destruction surrounding the eye of the storm where his best man laid, still curled up in a ball.

“What happened?”

Of course. Kisaki didn’t know. He hadn’t had a chance to tell him about what transpired in his home life with the current political upheaval in Blood Phoenix going on. Shuji turned reticent, his voice hoarse and haunted. 

“She’s gone.” 

The atmosphere in the room turned subterranean.

“She left me after finding out the truth that I cheated on her. Y/N has aborted my baby. She’s gone.”

For the longest minute, Kisaki did not say anything. Shuji remained on his knees, in a gesture of supplication, waiting for the death blow that would end his life. 

“Ah. Well, Tomio is dead so it doesn’t matter. Y/N is free to go and the marriage can be made void if that is what you wish.” Shuji stared at a fleck of blood on Kisaki’s otherwise spotless dress shoe, rigid with disbelief.

“She was a lost cause, anyway. A woman that young and inexperienced was never going to inspire leadership in an organisation like the Blood Phoenixes. I had hopes you could fill in Tomio’s shoes, but with his own daughter lost to you, there should be no reason why those men should follow you, either. It’s a lost cause.”

Was Kisaki serious? Did he really think Shuji was mourning the end of this deal and not the loss of his wife?

Apparently, the Pierrot sensed his mood darkening. “Oh. Was that not why you were upset? You should be dancing in relief that I am this forgiving. I’m in a good mood.”

When Shuji did not reply, Kisaki sighed. “Unless, I read it all wrong and you did, in fact, fall in love with Tomio’s brat.”

“Do not call her a brat,” Shuji mumbled automatically, coming to your defense. 

Kisaki raised a perfectly groomed brow. “Hmm. So you did fall in love with her. I thought she meant nothing to you? That once you did your duty and gave her a son, you would run away with that secretary of mine—or did you think I wouldn’t know?”

Shuji froze, his heart dropping right into his stomach.

“You weren’t much of a telltale, but that slut? She could never hide her true emotions. Don’t worry. I’ve taken the liberty of firing her for jeopardising this deal. You don’t  have to punish your lover.”

“We’re not lovers,” Shuji’s hoarse voice interrupted Kisaki’s tirade. “Not anymore. I dumped her after realising that Y/N is the one I want and not Ich…” 

He trailed off, unable to speak your name and his previous mistress’s in one sentence. It would be dishonorable to you. The real love of his life. 

“A little bit too late for that, isn’t it?” Kisaki softened the blow of his callous observation by sauntering over the miraculously intact bar-cart and fixing a drink for Hanma. He poured a glass of whiskey and handed it to the lovelorn man, sitting himself on the floor opposite him and nursing his own drink.

Shuji knocked back the flask of amber liquid until his throat burned and he dragged the glass back, kissing his teeth and wincing. “Yeah, it is.”

The silence stretched on, filled with pockets of quiet sips and contemplation. 

“You still have time to fix this, y’know,” Kisaki murmured. Hanma gripped his glass of whiskey tighter, the amber liquid sloshing onto his wrist. 

“And tell her what? That I want her back? That I’m in love with her after all the shit I did? It’s going to take a miracle to do that.”   

“So, do it.” Kisaki’s monotonous voice spoke volumes. “You’re the famous reaper, so act like one.” 

Kisaki was not seriously expecting him to hound you till the ends of the earth like the famed creature of death, was he? 

Or… he was. 

While the Pierrot was his sole title, Hanma could feel it rubbing off on him—becoming one with his facade. The dreaded collector of souls turned into a lovesick clown. He would sneer in self-pity if his leader’s words didn’t ignite in him a new purpose.

“Do you think I should do that?”

Pinning him with a fire in his eyes that Shuji had never seen before, Kisaki nodded.

“Don’t let Y/N slip out from your fingers the way Hina slipped out from mine. You can still fix this.” 

With the zeal of a starving man, Hanma searched for you throughout Tokyo. 

He started with the abortion clinic, retracing your steps. Perhaps you were recovering in a motel nearby from the procedure. Scouting the different locations, he even got desperate enough to sniff out the love hotels, worried you may be on a short-term stay and he would miss out on your figure when his back was turned. 

Many receptionists, upon recognising the tattoos on the back of his hand, tightened their smiles the moment he walked in the doors. 

Yes, there are many single female travelers here, but we’re not allowed to disclose the guest list, sir. 

As if life held a veil to his eyes, no matter what he did, he could not seek you out.

I just want to tell her how sorry I am. Shuji rubbed his eyes, the exhaustion catching up to him. It had been days since he had a decent night of sleep. Every time his head hit the pillow, he would dwell for hours in a fitful state, waking up in starts and stops, gasping for air, reaching towards the end of your bed to pull you close to him, like he always would whenever he had a nightmare. But, you were not there.

Somedays, just to get a lick of the rest he was sorely denied, Shuji would spray your fragrance onto your favorite pillow, holding it close to his chest as he pretended it was you. 

Ten days without her. The sun was losing its brightness. Akasaka was cold and stark from his perch on top of the world, glittering with nothingness as his arms ached emptily. The memory of your silhouette in them growing dimmer.

He was afraid to forget you. 

Shuji, look! Your laughter rang in his head, one finger pointing outside the great floor-to-ceiling windows of your bedroom where you both would just lay on the soft mattress and watch the clouds past by. That one looks just like a burger.

This is the second time you’re seeing food in the clouds, doll. He would tighten his arm around your waist, brushing a kiss onto your head. I think the baby is hungry. 

Shuji choked on a sob, smoke filling his lungs from the half-burnt cigarette dangling limply in his hand. 

What was the use of all these riches in the world, the best penthouse in the district and heaps of cash in his name when he did not even have his sweet wife to share it with? 

He turned to the photos of you still on his bedside table. The last living remnants he had of you. It must’ve been the thousandth time he was trying to memorise your face; the sad curve of your frown, the sheen of tears in your eyes. God, he wished he could remember you in a happy veneer and not this heartbreaking rendition of the woman he loved.

Today, he was too tired to go to work. He sent a text to Kisaki, telling the other man he was feeling under the weather and that he needed time to recover. It was not a lie. The sight of you, hidden by a lumpy cardigan, your expression pinched in pain as you exited that abortion clinic, broke something deep in him.

Shuji scrubbed a hand down his face, flicking his smudged stick into the ashtray, lips pressed into a thin line.

Come back to me, my darling. 

He started to choke up, close to tipping the scale towards a breakdown when his phone beeped with a text.

His heart leapt when he saw the words on his screen, disbelief lining every crevice of his stunned expression.

Kisaki’s Secretary: I know where your wife is.

That was the first thing that rendered him mute. The second? It was his ex-mistress who sent him the message herself. 

Hanma wasted no time. He slipped on a simple t-shirt and a pair of jeans, running a hand through his hair to tame the waves. On a second thought, he strapped on a pair of black, leather gloves that hid the shake in his fingers. There was no time for styling his locks with pomade or even to brush them neatly back. He had to find you.

His driving was reckless as best, no other thought beyond the vision of you returning back into his arms. My Y/N… my love… 

The gas pedal almost touching the floor, Shuji raced towards Ichika’s apartment, wanting to hear from herself where his beloved wife was—and if she was pulling his leg, he was making sure to finish what he started that day in the apartment when she lied to him about her pregnancy. 

As fate would have it, the slender, pretty young woman was exiting her apartment when she nearly collided into his chest. Her sharp yelp was no match for his strength when he pushed her back through the door, locking it behind them as he bore down on her shivering figure, the fire in his golden eyes undeniable.

“Where is she?” he snapped without preamble.

Ichika, whose cheeks had leeched off colour, mutely opened and closed her mouth. Unable to speak. Shuji’s patience snapped.

“Well?” he snarled, taking one step closer to her, not missing how she flinched. “You got my attention now. Is that what you wanted?”

Ichika regained her composure and tacked on a sneer. Wrenching the silver ring from her finger, she threw it right into his face, enjoying with a perverse delight when the untamable rage spread across his features.

“I know this fucking pathetic ring was not meant for me. Take it back home to that bitch you call your wife and tell her—”

“I know it was you who shared our sex tape with Y/N.”

Her tirade died in the back of her throat. Ichika’s eyes widened, the fear behind them palpable. “H-how—”

“My men managed to recover Y/N’s Cloud before her phone was thrown down from the balcony. The messages are there. I know it was you.”

Rising to his full anger, Shuji let the angst and heartbreak take him under. Fully drenching him in an impenetrable red fog. “I just didn’t want to believe it because I thought you would understand. You would understand how much Y/N means to me. But, you’re a selfish bitch. You never wanted to marry me or have a family, so why couldn’t you let me go and find it with someone who does? You fucking ruined my marriage!”

He bellowed the last part, slamming two hands around her neck, squeezing hard enough to make her eyes bulge. 

Ichika struggled, gasping for breath, her fingernails stabbing into his arms. 

“Tell me where is she,” Shuji sobbed, not a shred of composure left in his body. He had fully given himself into the dark impulses that flashed in his mind—completely hellbent on destroying the woman who took everything from him. “You could’ve lived happily with the money my gifts gave you. You could’ve—fuck, shut up! Stop fucking crying! You don’t deserve to cry. You don’t deserve to fucking cry like you’re a victim here.”

Her mouth fell open, gaping wide, shrieks reduced to reedy, clattering breaths. 

“So, where is she!” Shuji shook her hard enough for her teeth to clatter together. “What did you do to my wife?” 

For one split second, Shuji was sure Ichika was possessed by a being not from this earth. Her eyes gained a startling lucidity and she stopped struggling, blue in the face, but her words resounded clearly as if she spoke it in his mind.

“It was you who destroyed everything you held dear.”

The light dimmed from her eyes, every last force of her life used to spit those words in his face. Ichika, the woman he once loved, whose soul he cherished as a mockery of his own, went limp in his arms, her mouth lax and tongue lolling out, chin wet with spittle and the explanation she could never give before he killed her.

He killed her. 

Shuji let go of her body like he had been scalded, her lifeless form thudding to the ground, heavy like a sack of potatoes falling.

“Fuck—no, no, no.” He gasped, reaching back for her lifeless form, shaking her lightly. “Ichika? Hey, come on. No, don’t do this. Don’t—”

It was useless for him to beg. She would not hear.

He stifled a sob and set her back down, cradling her limp head like it was a broken bird’s neck. Shuji tried for a pulse but could not find it, and he hiccuped back a keen, stepping away from the body. 

There was nothing else he could do. Nothing else but give an anonymous tip to the police, hoping they would arrive soon. His dead mistress’s silver ring glinted in his periphery and he quickly snatched it up, not leaving a trace behind. 

He ducked his head low, steering clear of CCTV’s and crossing one unblinking camera down the hall. The same one he had disabled the day he crawled into her shitty apartment to fuck her on her pink satin sheets.

I’m a dangerous man, doll—no one can know I’m doing this with you.

No dash cams were around as far as his eye could see; though the sun burned hotly on the back of his neck, reminding him that even if there were no earthly spectators, his dark misdeeds could never be hidden from a celestial sight.

Shuji cursed under his breath , quickening his pace when he heard the first wails of an ambulance siren in the distance. He pulled out of her apartment compound the exact second a screeching police car drove in, narrowly catching him right at the scene. 

He adjusted his glasses, hightailing it out of here before they could connect her heinous death to his name. His glove-clad hands tightened on the steering wheel, and he did not ease up until he arrived back into the penthouse, shaking and itching for a drink.

Discarding his gloves into the sink, he reached for the whiskey cabinet, sloppily pouring himself a glass and knocking it back frantically. 

Though there was no blood on his hands, he could not shake off the pressing itch that he was drenched in his ex-mistress’ gore.

Ichika’s face flashed in his mind; her beautiful features falling flat in death, her words shaking him to the core.

It was you who destroyed everything you held dear.

It was you who destroyed everything you held dear.

It was you who destroyed everything you held dear.

Shuji threw the expensive glass across the room, watching as it shattered, the broken shards that caught the light of the dying sun mimicking the tears glinting down his cheeks. 

She’s right—I truly am the Reaper… everything I touch dies.

a/n: reblogs and feedback are much appreciated!!

© all works belong to lalalunanymph. do not copy, repost or claim as your own.

⇄ ◁◁ 𝚰𝚰 ▷▷ ↻ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ⁰⁰'²⁵ ━━●━━───── ⁰²'⁰⁸

╰┈➤ characters...•`S. MANJIRO [MIKEY], R. KEN [DRAKEN], M. TAKASHI, M CHIFUYU´•.

ᴘᴀʀᴛ. 1; ᴘᴀʀᴛ. 2

˚₊·—̳͟͞͞♡ SYNOPSIS... no one's perfect, neither them, so here's their issues in your loving relationship. ˚₊·—̳͟͞͞♡ WORDCOUNT... 1,9k ˚₊·—̳͟͞͞♡ WARNINGS... tw! disturbing content, gender neutral reader, obsession, manipulation, emotional dependence, overprotection, toxic relationship ˚₊·—̳͟͞͞♡ OTHER... reblogs, likes and requests are appreciated!

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ ​🇲​​🇦​​🇳​​🇯​​🇮​​🇷​​🇴​. [​🇲​​🇮​​🇰​​🇪​​🇾​] 𓆩❤︎𓆪

'ｌｏｎｅｌｉｎｅｓｓ ｉｎｄｕｃｔｉｏｎ '

‘they induce mental trauma into their love interest’s head in order to push them away from others. they make themselves out to be their love interest’s best option, making the love interest believe that all the others will betray them and that the yandere is the only one who can be trusted, but they actually just want to isolate their love interest. they destroy relationships and ruin families to get their love interest as isolated and vulnerable as possible.’

“trust in me… you trust in me, y/n… right?” mikey’s dark orb fixated on your face, seeking out your reply. little nod. he smiled. “that’s my girl.. i just want what’s best for you..” you push your face in his firm chest, the cloth of his shirt sticking to your face thanks to your fresh tears, smudged across your face.

“the word’s cruel, darlin’… and i’m the only one, who wants your well-being..” mikey cooed, his palm glided across your -compared to his- small back over and over again.

in his point of view, he had to cut you away from everything that isn’t him and everything that could make you leave him. to accomplish this nothing was too much, no money and no time mattered. only you. he would rather die, than paint his hands with the crimson fluid and you knew about this. we all know how much power and influence he held at his service, and so it was piece of cake to get done easily anything, without him getting involved. minions were perfect to do the work for him. take someone’s life and then have your dear father take the case? crashing down your family into pieces? they did it for mikey within a whistle. you’ve drifted away from one friend after another. they were bad people, the news and rumors about them was unstoppable. it left you shocked, they would never do this.. right?

it felt like he was all you had, no family, no friend.. you changed they changed for the bad. and mikey was the one who brought spotlight to it. his being was better than anything, the way he cared about you… made you forget about his manipulation.

but mikey never failed you, he was the one. always. just stay still and look as pretty and vulnerable as you can so he can save you from those filthy people you call your ‘relatives’, it would be such a damn shame you getting involved with them.

‘he’s bad’ they say. ‘he’s manipulating you’. liars. mikey wouldn’t do that. you are so grateful for him in your life. he’s like a guiding light, day after day, he’s the only person in your life you trust to the end and back.

as you hug your one, face buried in the crook of his neck seeking out safety, his lips slightly curve into smile. he holds your body against his. “i’ll always be here.. pretty girl...”

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ 🇰​​🇪​​🇳​. [​🇩​​🇷​​🇦​​🇰​​🇪​​🇳​] 𓆩❤︎𓆪

'ｔｒａｉｎｉｎｇ '

‘they will punish and torture their love interest if they think they did something they shouldn’t or when they don’t act like wanted to give them a lesson. these yanderes use methods that are usually pretty morbid and painful, some could even leave permanent damage to the love interest. they will then “reward” the love interest when they finally do something wanted of them.’

he takes ahold of your chin, pressing a quick smooch on your skin.

“i’m so, so, so proud of you, love..” he leaves those soothing words hanging in the air. draken took special care to praise you for every little gesture that brought him joy in your behavior. it filled his heart with pure loving, knowing you were so obedient and faithful. it took him so damned long time and so much effort to form you this way. dealing with you was hard at first, the way you would make the typical teenager and draken would be the worrying mom.

he wasn't afraid to punish. punishment meant new lesson for you and like that, slowly and steadily you grew into what you are now. a dog. a respectful and respected human being. they looked at you, they thought you are weird. they thought he's weird. oh how much they were wrong, he did everything for your sake. it was painful, but it served your progression. bruises covered your neck, down to your ankles. others weren't allowed to see it. those bruises were only for his eyes, it was like trophies. he knew he had forged you into what you are now, and it made him proud.

even so, he wasn't cruel. rewards was also something he loved giving to you and did with so much happiness. you meant the literal word for him, he would do everything that he's capable of, now listen to him and everything will be so happy around you and not a single problem in your life will be left. the fantasy of leaving him got pushed out of your mind at the very beginning. it's a topic you don't want to bring up again, for your sake. blaming others for laying a hand on you? the best solution would be to train you to avoid contact with everyone but him. this way, he doesn't have to hurt them and the 'losing you' thought would be solved too. everyone's happy!

draken kisses your lips softly. you loved this side, when all he did was praising you for your good work. you learned with time that obeying is so much effective, than resisting. resting in his strong embrace, forgetting everything and everyone that isn't him was the best decision.

​⋆⭒˚｡⋆ 🇹​​🇦​​🇰​​🇦​​🇸​​🇭​​🇮​. 𓆩❤︎𓆪

'ｐｒｏｔｅｃｔｉｖｅ '

‘they see everything and everyone as a threat for the love interest. they will use extreme methods to get rid of other “dangerous” people permanently, and even punish and torture them for the harm they did to the love interest, even if they didn’t really do all that much. feeling that the love interest is fragile, pure or vulnerable, and that everyone else can taint or hurt them, the yanderes finally decide to take care of it themselves and protect the love interest, getting rid of all “bad people” near them for the sake of their love interest and at any cost.’

the doors clicking sound could be heard only in the night’s darkness. it was 2:05am, -you glanced at the clock- blankets were all over your body, that was the only thing keeping you warm by the lack of his body next to yours. small steps echoed in the house, it was him. he finally arrived home. you exhaled a long breath of relief.

while you tried to find peace in your mind to get at least a blink of sleep, takashi furiously and hastily dragged out the contents of the black bag, dropped over his shoulder. drenched white shirt landed on the bathroom floor along with a few metal stool. how he had to take matters into his own hand, made him go nuts, what a nuisance to take care of, instead of being next to you on the soft sheets, having heartfelt conversations and talking all night long, his body perfectly fitting with yours in his arms. his lavender locks tangling into yours, his chest softly rising up and down under you head.

you just waited patiently for takashi all day and night, to return back from his work and finally be with you. and so you did now too, eyes now got used to the dark, staring at the door, counting the seconds and minutes till he steps inside.

hand stinging through the gloves from the bleach, slowly burning holes in the fabric and scratching the very skin. eyebrows furrowed at first in concentration, now from pain. he squeezed the remaining water out of the cloth. hopeless. better get rid of it all tomorrow morning, before you get any hint of what could have happened. the lilac tip of his hair now red, rosy cheeks now bloodstained. dragging his tired legs over to a quick shower. the dried fluid now snaking its way down the drain, a grunt falls from his chapped lips. a few minutes after, stopping the tap, he steps out of the shower. he feels new and fresh, the metallic smell now completely gone.

by 2:54am he happily climbs beside you in gray sweatpants, the hem of it sitting lowly at his waist, shoving his v-line. you immediately rolled over to face him, steam still covering his whole, without a thought of where had he been, with a delighted smile, you place your head to his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. strong fingers curling the strands of your hair, drifting off to sleep. he humms deeply. this was what he wanted to protect at all cost.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ ​🇨​​🇭​​🇮​​🇫​​🇺​​🇾​​🇺​.​ 𓆩❤︎𓆪

' ｄｅｐｅｎｄｅｎｃｅ'

‘wishing for their love interest to be able to know that they make a difference in the lives of their dependence yandere partner/spouse, they seek to be vulnerable around their love interest by depending on them. this can range from stupidly simple things, like constantly dropping or forgetting something, behaving like an idiot — often times subconsciously so, to claiming that they’d die without their love interest (although that’s obviously false)..’

‘she won’t leave me… she won’t leave me.. she won’t leave me.. she won’t-’ the words echoed in chifuyu’s head, like a broken record. his orbs staring into the void,- sitting on the edge of the bed, knuckles white from the way he gripped the sheets next to him.

“chifuyu!” you exclaimed, entering the room. as if all the life came back to his soul, he shot up his head to turn his attention towards you.

"my sunshine..” the boy muttered. he didn’t realize the moment he felt your presence next to his body. warm fingers grazed the line of his face. somehow he seemed ever so sad, just like on other days, when you weren’t in his company. those moments were suffocating for chifuyu. without your loving and caring soul, heart and body, his life felt empty and pointless. it was a hassle to get you in his possession, now he has to make sure to keep you. he can’t lose you. he has to keep you beside him. the constant fear of losing you would never leave his mind free, the uncontrollable clinging to you has turned into madness and so the self-pitying had started.

his voice dropped to a raspy tone. “i…” breathing out, chifuyu intentionally turns his head away from your gaze. with your palm, you made him facing you. “i.. don’t want to lose you..” green eyes filled with forged sorrow, you wrap your gentle arms around his neck, pulling him closer to your chest in a comforting manner. in his sitting position and how you stand in front of him, between his legs, he closes them, trapping you in. you ignore it, placing your chin on top of his head. now his lips has curled into a grin from ear to ear. he runs his arms around your waist, you don’t struggle in his clasp. it seems so welcoming to you, as if he’s manipulating your mind and body, you feel attached to him-but not as much as he is to you.- you have to take care of him, not in a child-like way. he craved your love, he was so sweet, you just couldn't deny it from him.

you never saw harm in him, he wouldn’t be able to hurt anybody, and especially not you. he makes the perfect boyfriend and significant other in your eyes. -and that’s exactly he want you to think.- chifuyu is fragile without you, do NOT even think about leaving or breaking up. and if you do, to your regret the anguish, bitterness and agony will swallow you up whole. he will make sure it does.

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ 𓈈 ᵈᵒ ⁿᵒᵗ ᶜᵒᵖʸ, ᵐᵒᵈⁱᶠʸ ᵒʳ ᵘᵖˡᵒᵃᵈ ᵐʸ ʷᵒʳᵏ ᵃˢ ʸᵒᵘʳˢ!

⇄ ◁◁ 𝚰𝚰 ▷▷ ↻ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ⁰⁰'²⁵ ━━●━━───── ⁰²'⁰⁸

╰┈➤ characters...•`K. HAJIME, H. RAN, H. RINDOU, K. IZANA´•.

ᴘᴀʀᴛ. 2; ᴘᴀʀᴛ. 1

˚₊·—̳͟͞͞♡ SYNOPSIS...no one's perfect, neither them, so here's their issues in your loving relationship. ˚₊·—̳͟͞͞♡ WORDCOUNT...1,6k ˚₊·—̳͟͞͞♡ WARNINGS... tw! disturbing content, gender neutral reader, obsession, manipulation, emotional dependence, overprotection, toxic relationship ˚₊·—̳͟͞͞♡ OTHER...reblogs, likes and requests are appreciated!

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ ​🇭​​🇦​​🇯​​🇮​​🇲​​🇪​. 𓆩❤︎𓆪

' ｗｏｒｓｈｉｐ '

‘they treat their love interest like a god, not caring how they are treated in return. they act like someone who, and actually might, owe their love interest their life. they don’t care if their love interest loves them back or not. these yanderes will kill for their love interest and hurt those who think badly of their love interest.’

with furrowed eyebrows, you watch the scene unfold in front of you. the realization hits you, eyes now wide with horror. you feel your heart drop, legs frozen in place as someone takes action.

“you little!..” she hissed, slowly touching the edge of her mouth with her fingertips, feeling the hot fluid. the girl still on the floor, slightly trembling from fear, stood in front of her him. frustrated expression sitting on his face, hajime gets hold down by another pair of arms, forcing his bloody fists behind his back.

“fucking bitch..” the always calming and charming voice of his, now filled with venom, eyes full of bitterness. “we’re not done with this, if i ever hear… her name from your filthy mouth..”

“okay.. that’s enough, kokonoi..” the classmate shushed him, hajime with the rest of his strength, pulled his arms out of the person's grasp. lips still in frown, glancing towards you and starts taking steps in your direction.

by now your legs have taken root, his whole standing in front of you, blood still dripping on his palms, he embraces you in a tight hug, which only just grows stronger and stronger, face leaned over in the safety of your neck, his black locks tickling it. hajime exhaled a shaky breath, pressing a sloppy kiss to your warm skin. you still stood in one place, arms let loose next to you, not returning his embrace but he couldn’t care less. he had to defend you, no one else stood up, someone had to stop those people who dare to trash his one. everyone but you deserve this kind of treatment, the thread has already snapped when your name rolled down from someone’s tongue in the company of a few nasty insinuations. in hajime’s world you were the light, it was his job to protect you from everyone else. there would be no line he would be afraid to cross when it comes to you. it creeped you out. the way he changes his mood by just mentioning you or seeing you pass on hallways made all of your hair on your back stand up. don’t get me wrong, you had nothing against it, his kindness towards you melted your heart. but this kindness only towards you, was the reason you tried avoid conversations with him or just purely being in his company. unfortunately for you, he was just like glue. so yeah… good luck in the future!

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ ​🇷​​🇦​​🇳​. 𓆩❤︎𓆪

'ｒｅｓｔｒａｉｎｔｓ'

‘they will directly lock up the love interest, tie up or even kidnap and drug their love interest to keep them around and compliant. restraints type yandere characters don’t tie up their love interest for reasons of domination/submission. rather, they want their love interest to never wander from their side. many will even tie their love interest to themselves.’

you fluttered your eyes open with agonizing pain spreading throughout your body, resting on the cold floor, forced in a sitting position. lights flickering in the place, your vision still fuzzy, a pair of black boots stepped into your sight. head banging while you felt something warm run down on your forehead, you tried to open your eyes more to at least get a glimpse of what’s happening.

you woke up fully when you realized that you’re struggling against those restrains tied around your wrists out of reflex. then you finally got to identify the person in front of you.

“you up, princess?” the smoothness of his voice sent goosebumps all over your body, almost in a bad way. you gulped deeply, mouth opened to form some kind of sentence but only shaky breaths could be heard. ran tilted his head in a questioning manner, grinning by now. “what? cat got your tongue?” a malicious snort fell from his lips. “okay.. since it’s that hard to guess… i might just give ya a little hint…”

the older haitani crouched down to your eyes level, his tone remained the same but something got added to his gaze with which he examined all your actions with full attention. “i was kind.. i was so.. kind… i tried not to resort to this, but you simply gave me no choice.” the taller male’s thumb grazed your features, you felt something smudge on your head, then he brought his digits back close to himself, smile faded when he saw your dark red and dried blood dirtying his hands. in the company of a scoff, he wiped it down on your ragged shirt, all this as he glared his eyes strongly on you.

your legs was the only limb he agreed free, instincts kicking in ready to raise to attack —unfortunately for you, he saw through your little thinking and your ankles got hold together by his grip— “you truly upset me, girl…” he raised up from his position, ran pushed his hips slightly forward, carefully placing his hands on his sides, watching over you with despise. “hope this lesson sticks in your head…”

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ ​🇷​​🇮​​🇳​​🇩​​🇴​​🇺​. 𓆩❤︎𓆪

'’ｒｅｖｅｒｓｅ’ ｌｏｎｅｌｉｎｅｓｓ ｉｎｄｕｃｔｉｏｎ '

‘they can also provoke the love interest to be the one people don’t want to approach, rather than the other way around. they will be the ones responsible of the people around the love interest starting to fear or be disgusted by the love interest, spreading rumors or false evidence that make the love interest look horrible so no one else will want to be around them, not even family and friends, leaving the yandere to be the only person the love interest can rely on and feel accepted and loved by. by doing this, the people close to the love interest will eventually disappear from their lives by their own volition, and the only one around to show their “understanding” and “compassion” to the love interest will be the yandere, without anyone else getting in the way.’

“she’s here..”

“is that her?..” they’re loud.

“she’s the girl who—..” they’re too loud. you finally cover your ears up with your shaky hands, legs now in hurry towards the entrance. eyes fixated on the ground, sweat rushing down on your forehead.

“they’re at it again?” a voice questioned, mockery evident in their tone. you shot up you’re head, accidentally staring right into his piercing orbs. he didn’t break the eye contact, stood his ground. a half smile rolling up to his face.

you swallow deeply, failing to give answer and with slower steps this time, carrying-on the mourning on your way. his hand snaked up to your left shoulder, squeezing it firmly.

“you… why are you always here for me?.. " his mouth parted, eyes widened a little, clearing his throat before answering the question. “how come the gossips not scared you off?..” your tone fading down word by word.

“let’s not bother talking about that.. focus on me. me, the only one left for you..”

he didn’t have the control over you? oh he must have it over other people. since, who would want to hang out with someone like you? someone, who steals, who always spread bad things about other, who is allegedly two-faced? no one. no one but him. haitani rindou. yes, he is the only person remained in your orbit. the desperate clinging to others only scared them off even more. why bother trying?

there was no room for guilt and remorse, just focusing on the goal. they left. they finally left. and he succeeded, even with muddy hands in the end. you were the goal.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ ​🇮​​🇿​​🇦​​🇳​​🇦​ 𓆩❤︎𓆪

' ｄｅｌｕｓｉｏｎ '

‘the shock trope delusion yandere will create a false happy life with their loved one in their mind despite the real absence of the love interest in it or bad conditions around them. they will imagine and truly believe that they are in a close relationship with their love interest, sometimes even in their ideal home and a family life of their own. the yandere would be the only character to believe in this fictional reality without knowing the real sad truth.’

“and what do you know about her?” a taller male questioned, while walking forward with slow steps.

“so much more than anyone else…” he answers, peeking out under his white locks.

“you say that she’s head over heels for you, does she even know y—”

“yes.” a simple grumble falls from his lips, fearing if he looks to the person next to him, his hand would not stop ‘till guy’s beat to pulp.

“you’re crazy..” a whisper hit izana’s ear, he rewarded it by picking up his pace, leaving his company behind, shocked. they didn’t know you. izana was the one, the only one who knew who you were deep down. -obviously, when he was your boyfriend. in fast steps, izana passed by you, shoulder lightly brushing against yours. he had to hold himself back from outright attack you with his embrace, instead, he sent a small smile in your direction.

‘you saw him again, who was he? he must know me..’ these thoughts filled your head once again, it’s been like this… for a while now. out from pure curiosity, your head snapped around, fingers snaking around his biceps, stopping izana in his steps.

his orchid eyes burned a hole into your arm, as he watched intensely your hold on his arm. then those cold eyes traveled up to your face, seeing your eyebrows furrow, the edge of his mouth twitched into a smirk.

“who… are you?”

“darling…” the words were muttered, his head slightly angled downwards even though his eyes stared into yours, without an ounce of hesitation to turn away. “your boyfriend… don’t you recognize me?…”

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ 𓈈 ᵈᵒ ⁿᵒᵗ ᶜᵒᵖʸ, ᵐᵒᵈⁱᶠʸ ᵒʳ ᵘᵖˡᵒᵃᵈ ᵐʸ ʷᵒʳᵏ ᵃˢ ʸᵒᵘʳˢ!