Swearing - Tumblr Posts
I find it comforting that the satisfaction of uttering ‘twatwaffle’ or ‘fuck-knuckle’ can be linguistically justified 😌
*hurriedly scribbling notes*
What is better than a bunch of age regressers being small and chanting fuck on call because one of our caregivers left us unattended?
Spur of the moment dnd game starting with a joke notes
Just so I don't forget since we may continue
Most this is from memory, will do best to be accurate
Blobbers kissed a worm, and the worms ran off before returning with flowers on their backs
Theo asks to trade and be dm
Blob eats the flowers
Failed constitution saving throw
-10 hp, 8/18 hp remains
Blob gets mad at worms "Bro what the fuck?"
"We are sorry, but you reminded us of somebody. The one we need to return to the forest." The worms explained
Insert confused player blob noises
"She has short brown hair, a purple backpack, and a monkey friend with rainbows. She ran away chased by a bright orange fox with a mask"
Angy player blob noises
Me laughing and singing the dora the explorer theme
Blobbers sighed "Where can I find this lord faquad looking ass?"
“nobody knows exactly where she went but people say you can hear womanly screams from the mountains exactly 1092 miles south from here, us worms, we are too slow to get there before she perishes of starvation, but you! We bet you could get her!” the worms offered
"What do I get in return tho, aside from an almost lethal allergic reaction to some plants." Blobbers tried
“well,” said the worms, “lets just say. If you dont,.,.,.,., we could always,..,. have a makeover montage until you look enough like the girl and then we would leave you at the edge of the forest for the person who wants her :)”
"Fuck that, I'm going home."
“But dearest blob,.,., you have no choice”
Scared player noises "tHEY KNOW MY NAME"
“Either find her or BE HER” The worms threaten, and so blob deeply terrified goes home to pack
Nat takes back over as DM
Blob goes into her room, finding her turtle sleeping peaceful in a bundle of stolen laundry and towels
Roll perception, and passes
She realizes she hears an odd sound, glancing about she realizes that it comes from her bed. The blankets twitch and in the shadows undee the bed an odd shape squirms.
"What the fuck??" Blob questions
The blanket stills. Then something silently falls over the bed and onto the floor.
Worms.
Blobbers screamed, awaking the turtle who quickly run to her leg. The blanket shifts and falls of the bed to reveal the bed had been eaten through the millions of worms.
"Blobbers, there is nothing to be afraid of. We are simply, keeping an eye on you."
Blobbers calms down, and frustratedly grabs her things
+2 healing potions(10 hp healed each.)
+1 flask of holy water
+1 disguise kit(includes,
+1 broad sword(2d4 damage)
+1 sleeping bag
+5 days provisions
+ one empty flask
+ 1 turtle(lorenzo)
Blob asks how the holy water is there
Nat explains she doesn't remember it being there before, maybe someone left it there.
Blob takes a long rest in the other room on a floor of pillows and blankets and wakes up at 1 am
hit points return to 18/18
Blobbers decides to go into town and steal a horse under the cover of night
"I don't like horses they scary and eat meat" "Horses are herbivores??*confused dm noises*"
Stlerch check, passed
Animal handling check passed
Blobbers grabs a handful of horsefeed and sneaks in through a window of the stables, soundless and invisible despite her pink clothing
She holds up the feed to the horse, and it silently nuzzles her face before eating out of her hand
"I change my mind QwQ I love horses"
Blob runs off, and looks to the sky looking to find which way is south
Intelligence check, passed
Blobbers finds a star pointed south this time of year and chases after it on her horse, then finds a perfectly smooth stone wall, stretching as far as the eye can see and blocking her path. The only opening a bared gate with a steal lock. Watched above the gate way with letters
Sld wl blf urc z yilpvm kfnkprm?
"Somebody needs to learn to spell"
Lorenzo nods, at least blobbers thinks it is a nod, but Lorenzo is a turtle eating a random bug they found on the ground.
"How do you fix a broke pumpkin?" She translated the puzzle, then furrowed her brows "eat it?"
A choking noise comes from the other side, and a slight laugh before a woman's voice is heard "I can't tell you the answer, the gate burns cheaters. Though I can help! What is a feild of a bunch of pumpkins called?" The voice
Language barriers get in way and dm gives answer for the sake of the game. And also because it would be unfair to just let blobbers suffer
"A pumpkin patch?"
The moment the words left her lips the lock melted, and fell to the floor in aa red hot pile of goo
Roll perception, 17
Blobbers walks through the gate, and her eyes lock with a woman of warm firey skin and bright green long hair that fell down her face in knots
Blobbers takes a moment, before realizing that she was staring at a nymph. A nature spirit, specifically a pumpkin
"Can I do a little dance that makes her want to hit me? Like the macarena"
Rolls charisma and passes
Blobbers dances, and the woman resists the urge to slap blob but instead laughs "Have you a reason to dance at such a late hour, or are you just /this/ happy to have passed the gate"
"Do you need a reason to dance at 3 am?"
She watches blobber for a moment, almost like she is studying blob
Then the pretty pumpkin lady begins to dance with blob doing her best to follow the movements "My name is Autumn Tarta" she grinned as she followed blob's lead in the macarena under the stars
Nap time, will add part two whenever we play again
Literally...
Reason why Making Fiends is better than this terrible written shit.
Helluva Boss has two moods
Goretober 5: Vivisection
I really couldn’t think of anything for this.
Muscle Slut for rent. I will make your fantasies come true! Rent this big beefy boy for custom videos, meet up or skype shows.
Contact me on PM or bdjcdlb@gmail.com
I want muscular Sophie. I want Shannon to give Sophie the proper build to beat the shit out of people.
(via Gridllr)
Hugging but jerrick, and in the rain. But only if you want to
It’s probably not the content you wanted lol, but I just can’t see them hugging in the rain in a way that wasn’t angsty or smth.
More thoughts behind the cut.
Keep reading
i need a compilation
Goku swearing will never not be funny there should be a compilation video.
He swears more in the subs we were robbed
Tumblr why tf are you advertising me shit from the End Wokeness account on this Woke Website
Literally stupid ass shit
'the Personifications' - Swearing - final video (w: loud)
There was an old Game Grumps audio going around IG at one point, and our brain immediately started matching it up to the Personifications lot. So have a whole lot of swears.
bonus DJ (Sound), who's never actually seen:
Thing I think I would ask at four in the morning: What does the sky say when it's asleep?
What actually happens: Why the fuck am I still awake? Go to sleep you idiot.
“Winter is coming! FU#@ YEAH! BWAHAHA” Bowser is swearing. We all know it. (And i love it) I think Bowser likes Winter, cause he is a big fire-turtle-thing and can easily keep himself warm all the time. Even a Villain can enjoy the snow and build snow goombas! This is something that i plan to do every year, to compare my skills. I drew him with a Scarf, cause i thought it would look cute on him and i was not disapointed. This is also my first time drawing Bowser on computer or with colours. I think i did a good job! ^-^ Do you think this is worth a print for a T-Shirt?
IDK HOW TUMBLR WORKS I HOPE IM DOING THIS RIGHT! Do 4 with Curt and Kristine i feel like that would be hilarious
A/N: Time to remember what knowledge was there from the oversimplified prohibition period! This was a nice thing to write through. Thanks, anonymous! Whoever you can be. (lighthearted)
Escape The Night AU/Scenario
They open the door with a creak.
"This is... empty." Ivan looks from the back of the rest whilst Den coughs.
"Oh god what the hell-" She continues coughing as Curt pats her back. Christian walks into the dark room, a paper in hand.
"Wow, this is..." Kristine follows his lead, a flashlight in her hand. It illuminates alan unkempt stage, bar area and multiple seats and tables.
"Is this it?"
"Looks like it. Its an abandoned speakeasy." Curt holds another flashlight, it pointing to something on the stage. It seems to be an upside down pyramid shaped... Thing. The bottom is bent to look like its suctioning the wood it stand on. Though, it looks more like a wine glass now that she thinks about it...
"There! Thats the artifact!" Den state the obvious as she runs up to it, trying to snatch it from the pedestal its placed on.
"Wait, dont touch it yet! You wont know what it does." Curt easily catches up to her.
"Why not? I dont want to go do another voting thingy! Ill just take it, easy!" She faces towards him whilst walking back to the artifact before turning to it hastily, easily getting it out of its place. Nothing happens. Kristines looks around the place curiously.
"Thats... Easy-" The sudden round of jazz music made her jump. What she doesnt notice is Christian getting the paper.
"At least this tells us what to do..." Amongst the music, his voice just sounds like a second echo.
"Ugh, could that music just STOP already?!" Ivans dreads as he covers his ears.
"Den, place it back!" Christian turns to her, whos shaking the artifact.
"Ooh, theres alcohol in here..." Den tries to open it by herself, which, proves to not budge.
"DEN!" Now she can hear his voice.
"Uh, huh?"
"PLACE IT BACK THERE!" Den... Looks away from him. "Oh my GOD. DEN."
"Fine, fine...." She places it back on the pedestal, and the music stops. Everyone gives a sigh of relief.
"Fucking finally I can read this, ahem...
'Before you is the artifact you are looking for. Sadly, it is incomplete and will need some ingredients to complete the cocktail. This place is full of-' POISON GAS?! WHAT THE FUCK?! 'and the cocktail will provide the cure. But first,'"
A light from above shines onto a box on the table.
"Oh shit, uh, 'Two people will have to volunteer themselves.'
Now what the hell does that mean?"
"We wont know until after it happens."
"Then why dont you do it, Ivan?"
"I LITERALLY HELPED YOU ALL WITH THE LAST ONE I AM NOT RISKING MY LIFE AGAIN-"
"Okay, okay, its fine Ivan. Ill do it, it alright. Kristine will also, 'cause Ill be dragging her into this."
"Wait, why I dont wanna do this-" She sputters out
"Dont worry, you will." He grabs Kristine as he walks over to the table. "So... What do I do, Christian?"
"Oh. Put your hands in there."
"Okay so can I just NOT do this, pleas-"
"Kristine yoive literally done almost nothing."
"Noooooo!" She reluctantly places her habd in the box, right after Curt, and then...
Click!
She decides to pull her hand out and- "NOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"Oh my god you two are handcuffed." Ivan looks on with surprise. "So, what do we do now?" Everyone looks over to Christian, though nervous ftom hearing other footsteps from inside. Christian takes a deep breath in...
"RUN." And sprints out the front door with a cheeky grin.
"Hey, what the-"
"Bitch!"
"I am not going to make it..."
"You literally have me with you, Kris-" Gunshots quickly sound the room.
"OH GOD IS THIS A CHASE SEQUENCE?!" Ivan decides to run after Christian, wherever hes gone through. Den goes to the back door, surprisingly not getting hit. Kristine has multiple questions in her mind before being carried away from the scene because of Curt.
"PUT ME DOWN, PUT ME DOWN, PUT ME DOOOWN!" She could probably hear him laughing at this.
...
She doesnt know how long hes running for.
"Are we safe, Kristine?"
"Looks like it, can you put me down no-"
"Not yet."
"Come on... What are we supposed to find, anyways?"
"Itd probably be noticable, but I think... Ingredients? What can you think?"
"Something like... Lime? Other alcohol stuff?"
"Oh, maybe that clinic over there. We could probably find something there... Maybe..?"
"Alright..." She gets finally put down as they both go inside...
"Oh. So this is it." Before them is a table with three bottles in a clear glass, visibly in different colors: red, blue, and yellow. They both walk forward and grab the paper.
"Find the color Brown." Kristine
"Damn, I know... Nothing about this."
"Me too! Do we just... Mix it all together? Then just chug it."
"Were not supposed to chug it, Kristine."
"I know, I know!
...
But..."
"Oh my god..." Kristine giggles. "Why am i with you?"
"Your fault now deal with MY bullshit!" They both laugh.
"But, mixing it all together seems plausible. Do it." Kristine grabs the bottles and mixes them up together, it all in a small bottle.
"Yep, thats brown! Ill keep it." Kristine hands over the mixture to Curt, keeping it in his pocket.
"Oh yea, that artifact needs... Four ingredients, right? Those four compartments?"
"Good eye." They were interrupted by a gunshot.
Kristine looks out, despite her doubts. "Den..?"
Den holds out a gun in one hand, artifact in the other. She eyes around for anyone else.
"DEN!" She says again whilst runs out, before hearing a thud. "Oh. Sorry Curt." He looks back at her, inconvenienced. The two look back to run over to her.
"Hey! We got something!" Curt alarms her.
"Put it here!" Den runs over to them as Curt pours in the substance. "What is that?"
"Probably more alcohol. How many did you get?"
"Ivan should be here with one of them. I was just trying to take care of these guys."
"You havent found Christian?"
"No. Not at all. Was hoping he got something."
"HERE!" Ivan runs in with another bottle, pouring it in.
"Two down, two more... Where have you searched?"
"The clinic, right over there." Kristine pointd over to where they were.
"I just stole something from a house."
"Good job, Ivan. Ill try to search somewhere else, so you carry this." She hands over the artifact to him.
"Wait, wha- aaannd shes gone. Where the hell..."
"I can go somewhere else-" Kristine walks back before she trips bit keeps her stand. "Sorry! I forgot about-"
"The handcuff thing."
"The handcuff thing."
"God damnit, why did those weird lights bring us into here..." Ivan furrows his brow at Curts statement.
"Wait... Lights... Wouldnt that be... Den?"
"Den?" Kristine seems confused at that inquiry.
"Yea. Shes the god of chaos with like, multiple souls in her body."
"Oh shit. The souls revoluted?!"
"Maybe? I dont know. The only person who could know about it is...
Chilly."
"What is she again?"
"Raptor God. I... Dont know where she went." They were soon interrupted by a rushing Den with an injured Christian.
"I FOUND IT! THE TWO!"
"CHRISTIAN!" Curt runs towards them causing Kristine to almost get dragged across the street.
"HEY HEY HEY! IM HANDCUFFED TO YOU!"
"Sorry!" Curt picks Kristine up again.
"WHY?! I DID NOT CONSENT!"
"Okay, Ill put you down." He eyes worridly to his injured friend.
"WERE YOU GUYS JUST STANDING HERE?!" Insert an awkward silence.
"Is Christian alright?"
"Im fine..." Definitely not. Absolutely not. "Now wheres the one..." Den places her ingredient into the artifact, then Christian places his in, blood accidentaly dripping onto the item. It glows on where it was.
"What the hell does that mean..." He picks it up and Ivan notices a peculiarly shaped thick paper on the ground, its ends being a weird, short ridge poking out of it in an even space. He picks it up.
"Yo, I think this dropped a paper."
"Read it, Ivan."
"Alright,
'You have found four ingredients, but are missing one. An essence of someones life.' God damnit." The rest groan in response. " 'You will have to vote on two people to fight the people chasing after you. Quite a show, is it not?
Well then, you have the key.'
Thats it...."
"When are we not going to be handcuffed anymore? If one of us gets in, how about ME?"
"Yea, how about- Kristine."
"That was a joke!" Christian eyes the paper for a few moments, grabbing it and looking to Curt.
"Give me your hand."
"The cuffed one?" He nods in response. Curt shows him and Christian uses the oddly shaped paper to unlock the handcuffs. "Oh..."
"Ah, smart!" And thus, they are free from whatever that volunteering was for. "So, how do we vote?"
"Thats easy!" A cheery person appears to them like a goddess, her rather strange arm holding out papers. "Sorry for being late."
"What are you hiding..?" Ivan stares at Chilly. She stares back, in the creepy way like a doll could.
"Just write the name of whom you want to participate in these papers! Just one, though! But, lets go somewhere else comfortable so that someone doesnt shoot you all in the open." She walks away.
The rest have no choice but to follow. To control and be controlled of their lives
A/N: Time to remember what knowledge was there from the oversimplified prohibition period! Th
💚Doodle of a Doll💚
“A Vex From Lime”
Just a doodle of a Doll who will fuck you up son if you look at them wrong. Don’t do💚