Sad Quote - Tumblr Posts
I used to have a night light Because I was scared of the dark that pressed into me. Now I have a write light Because I am scared of the dark that festers inside me.
Bleeding Out
I know now Why you said it As he tells me he loves me Tells me I should open up more As he tells me he loves me I feel the words clawing their way up my throat 'You don't even know me' I know now why you said it
And I do not blame you
“I guess you are kind of curious as to who I am, but I am one of those who do not have a regular name. My name depends on you. Just call me whatever is in your mind. If you are thinking about something that happened a long time ago: Somebody asked you a question and you did not know the answer. That is my name. Perhaps it was raining very hard. That is my name. Or somebody wanted you to do something. You did it. Then they told you what you did was wrong—“Sorry for the mistake,”—and you had to do something else. That is my name. Perhaps it was a game you played when you were a child or something that came idly into your mind when you were old and sitting in a chair near the window. That is my name. Or you walked someplace. There were flowers all around. That is my name. Perhaps you stared into a river. There as something near you who loved you. They were about to touch you. You could feel this before it happened. Then it happened. That is my name.”
—
“My Name” Richard Brautigan, In Watermelon Sugar
(via
glowgirl
)
I cannot remember who I was before the snow fell. Before the storm came. And the cold set in. I cannot remember who I was before the tides took over and devoured any notion of the girl I was. I wonder, who I used to be before the amnesia of destruction.
"It's me," I told him. A small, fake smile. But it wasn't. It wasn't me. I knew all along it wouldn't be me. But perhaps it was me. Maybe I just wasn't loveable enough. Not loveable enough for anyone to settle down. To call their own, cherish. When things start to get good for me ... off they go. I just needed to say goodbye before he could break my heart -well, take the last part left by confirming-. So, yeah, perhaps it was me who wasn't good enough. Me who wasn't enough for anyone to stick around. I had to swim to the surface, I was in too deep already. -n.v
I tried to make conversation and I couldn't tell whether or not you tried to die it down sooner rather than late, but either way it hurt. God, I wish things could go back to the way it used to be. When you claimed in the moment "From now on, it's just you and me."
I remember
when it shatters
it feels like they never even cared
it was a white lie
presented with smiles.
It pains,
physically,
deep in your heart.
But perhaps it's nature,
we love,
sometimes we break
and we love again.
send me to the spirit realm and see if that changes my opinion on living
will they worry if i don't come home?
no. they will track you down to keep you locked in obedience.
"She's going to sit alone. Right at that same table where she built it all. Her happiness, her courage, her perseverance, but most importantly, where she met all of her friends. Now it's all crumbling down to her fingertips. She closes her eyes and tries to dream herself away into a reality where all of that still exsists, but she can't. It's all blank without the real thing... Without the real them. Complete nothingness. She can't even remember their voices. Everything is fading away from her. And everytime, she blames herself for something that she couldn't control. They've all left now; her friends. The girl lifts her head and stares at them. They're all happy. They all prance around, discussing random topics she used to talk about with them all of the time. She even sees her crush holding hands with her best friend. They don't even notice her. All of them go sit at their new table, completely forgetting about what once was. She weakly smiled as tears fell down her cheeks. Her heart ached for them. For someone. But she had no one. She put her head back down and waited for an escape. She pulled her sketchbook and poetry journal closer to her. They may only be objects, but they are all she has now. She pours her heart out crying. She couldn't hold it in any longer. Her fears were reality, and she somehow had to stay strong in this. But how could she stay strong when she wasn't going to be remembered by any of them? Was it all pointless to make memories in the first place? She just wanted to disappear. She then heard whispers all around her. It sounded like her friends, but that couldn't be. She lifted her head up and rubbed her eyes. A boy with a pretend smile and a sympathetic gaze pulled me into a hug.
"You're going to be okay, we're all going to be okay. I promise."
She cried into his chest until they all gathered around her and tackled her into a group hug.
Her friends.
They were here.
"I'm sorry for the mess I've created," She shyly whispered, "haven't you forgotten me, yet? I would've."
"How could we forget about you?" A raven haired boy asked, "We've been right here the whole time."
- Dreaming of Wolves//Vent
(I just... Sobbed while writing this.)
"It's a sad truth that I will write about everyone I love, but none of them will even try and put me into a sentence."
- Dreaming of Wolves
A List of Things That Signal I'm Sad or Feeling Something Very Deeply (But I Won't Ever Tell You-):
- I start being very short with you. Instead of thoughtful sentences, you only get (Oh. Oh cool. Ha. Etc.)
- I start having a very pessimistic drop in my tone
- I start changing the convo
- I start changing the topic to you rather than me
- I take longer to reply
- I use hhhhh a lot
**In irl**
- I avoid your eyes
- My posture drops
- I start fidgeting
- I stay silent
- I rest my head and just look like someone who got stabbed
I'm scared to form friendships because I know I'm going to give it my all. I'll be loyal every single time. I'll stay up with them until 3AM if they just need to talk. I'll never abandon them. I'll comfort them and give them letters. I'll do everything. But for me? They'll be interested for a little bit. Then they'll drift away and abandon me. They won't care. They won't even think of me. This is why I don't make friendships; because I'll get hurt all over again and I need to protect myself.
- Dreaming of Wolves//Memoir