Psychotic - Tumblr Posts
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory
Tunnel of terror
I love this scene so much. It's so crazyyy
I haven’t had a visual hallucination since like a decade and a half, but I did today :( Right before taking a nap I saw my wall had kid’s handwriting made with pen and pencil, then it was just pencil and then they looked erased but still there depending on the lighting I was looking at the wall from :( I feel so dumb writing this cause I didn’t notice it was a hallucination when it obviously was :( I know that I was having a psychotic episode and ofc I was out of myself, but as a kid there was a point when I knew when I was having a hallucination or not :( so yeah this is the sad story of today I guess
And I was preparing to wake up angry at my cousin for letting her kids do whatever they want all the time, but I woke up with a normal wall 😭🔫
intro🦅
so i kinda jumped right into posting but ill give and introduction, mb!!!😋
This blog will contain topics of $h, €d, depression, some gruesome things, as well as stupid silly stuff, so TW!
i am a minor so if i get weird shit from you if u are an adult, you are blocked.
i don't hv other socials but if u wanna be friends i am totally down, just message me!!!😸😸
she/her, pansexual
mainly emo but i go through a ton of styles
loves/likes:
garfield🧡
anime
manga
reading
art
deep talks
music
hazbin hotel n helluva boss
video games (call me an e-girl or gamer girl or wtv n i'll stab myself)
racoons🖤
pet names
MATTHEW GRAY GUBLER💚
dislikes/hates:
creeps
let's be moots?💗
isn't it insane though how schizophrenic people are viewed as violent and dangerous by the majority of society when in reality schizophrenic people are nearly 14 times more likely to be on the receiving end of violence than to be the perpetrators...
I said Bloody Mary 3 times in the mirror and my eyes started bleeding.
Hey if you’re schizophrenic/psychotic I just want you to know that you’re a wonderful person and that you deserve so much better than the demonization, marginalization and stigmatization you face in this society.
A lot of the time when professionals interact with psychotic people, they try to reduce our distress by getting us to stop believing things. For me, that only made things worse. It was confusing and distressing. I felt angry, scared, and misunderstood. The best way I've found to cope with delusional thinking is something I discovered on my own. I'll give an example here so, huge TW for unreality and paranoia.
Scroll away if you're not able to hear delusional thinking.
Yesterday I started freaking out thinking people could hear my thoughts. This is something I've occasionally experienced since I was a child. When this comes up, I always think there's some massive conspiracy, where everyone can hear my thoughts but they react to me as if they don't hear anything. And they're all in on it. This time, it was triggered by intrusive thoughts that I started judging myself for.
As you can imagine, this is distressing. I started talking to people through my mind, which only made it worse. I couldn't focus on what was happening around me. What I did to reduce that distress is.. weirdly nonchalant. I just sat there and thought "Well, if this is true, it's not like they're going to change how they interact with me. Everything is the same as it was. Nothing I can do about it, might as well just keep on keeping on."
That calmed me down enough to start focusing on what I was doing, and eventually completely forget about it until now. Whenever I try to treat my delusional thinking as something I have to stop immediately... it literally only makes my mind double down. But if I work within what I believe - what I "know" - I can find another way to look at it that isn't so scary.
This works with my hallucinations, too. I sometimes see shadow people; they're more like jump scares than anything. They startle me, and I start to wonder if people I'm looking at are real. But that latter part only really happens if I get fearful of them. To avoid that fear, I try to think of the shadow people as just friends watching over me, checking in. They don't do anything, after all. They just pop up, stand there, and disappear.
(Talk of unreality ends here)
So, yeah. This doesn't work for everyone, and it doesn't always work for me depending on what I'm experiencing/how I'm feeling. But without this, I'd be far worse off; it doesn't take too many missteps for me to spiral. I guess my point is, my reality doesn't have to be "normal" for me to be healthy as a schizophrenic person. It just has to be something I can live with, as happily and safely as possible.
And that's ok. Neurodivergent people are allowed to exist, and some people are helped best by finding ways for them to exist as they are without so much distress - rather than trying to eliminate troubling symptoms entirely.
barely got any sleep from nightmares and now i dont know whats real lmaoooo
I feel like im dying, i have a terrible headache, my brain wont let me sleep and i keep hallucinating spiders and bugs on me or on the walls hurrayy /sarc
Hey if you’re schizophrenic/psychotic I just want you to know that you’re a wonderful person and that you deserve so much better than the demonization, marginalization and stigmatization you face in this society.
Predator and prey
All my life worshipping a man who couldn’t even be my father,
for now, to despise him.
All of my hatred flowing through my veins into my head,
Grabbing the knife with brute force only to let it go,
To not to hurt those who harmed me.
Those who run with him are my enemies,
Like a predator with its prey, slowly convincing you that they love you,
Only to stab you in the back and devour you.
Like animals, like cannibals.
We were like nothing, pure smoke coming from my mother’s cigarette.
I would never be happier if you perished onto my knife full of rage,
Rage for you and your body and your soul.
I do not worship you any longer.
All that’s left is pure abhorrence.
I’m infuriated and now I ask you,
Who’s the predator and who’s the prey?
Two men knock on my door, i half-open it for them, they are looking for a men called “Joan"(theyarescaryscaryscary)
I say he doesn't live here, they leave,i close the door.
I am not safe even in my house.
I was used to eating stale food,stale everything, stale bread, stale chicken breast.
(And also rotten food, well,not fully rotten, but partly, i just used to leave out the part i couldn't eat, that was too rotten to be eaten.)
My mama and my granny taught me that you shouldn't waste any food. So i didn't.
“the intrusive thoughts won” “that’s psychotic” “i’m so delusional haha” “narcissistic abuse” “the weather is so bipolar” SHUT UP!!!!!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!
Screw Cap