Mentally Insane - Tumblr Posts

I have no clue what it is but there’s a fucking NOISE IN THE WALLS OF MY HOUSE and it won’t stop,,, of course UNLESS THE AC IS ON (and the ac sounds like a fucking plane taking off so it’s just as bad) SO I CANT SLEEP. I HAVE AN ACCOUNTING TEST TMR AND IM 👌🏻 THIS FUCKING CLOSE to going absolutely batshit just throwing a hammer at my wall :)

update: ITS FUCKING BACK I SWEAR THE ANYTHING HOLY

Update 2: fuck it I’m gonna power through and sleep as I’m getting McDonalds in the morning before class and I need to be awake

3rd and final update: it’s gone! The fan downstairs apparently was never turned off and I’m above it so it was making noise

me looking at the people who makes fun of my "childish" things but I know who would find it cute:

Life actually is a velvet crowbar hitting you over the head.

I guess everyone has their own way of showing affection. But sometimes I wish it didn't hurt so much to be loved.

I don't want a diagnose just for attention, I want it because I'm tired of feeling like I'm fucking crazy for no reason.

My toxic trait is hearing something I don't like and acting as if nobody ever said that.

I'm not flirting with you. I was just being kind.

Just because I don't remember all the shit you did to me doesn't mean you didn't do it. I'm just extremely attached to our good memories that my brain forces me to forget about the bad ones even though it hurts.

Me when I'm not pale enough:

sometimes I just get so sick and tired of fighting just to survive.

sometimes I just get so sick and tired of fighting just to survive.

sometimes I just get so sick and tired of fighting just to survive.

sometimes I just get so sick and tired of fighting just to survive.

sometimes I just get so sick and tired of fighting just to survive.

Elvis Presley

drawing i did :3

Me core

I hate whenever my parents act like they care about my mental health then get all pissy at me when I tell them that I don't want to do school anymore even if I explain why, and I'm genuinely fucking tired of it.

I don't know about you motherfuckers, but when you are mistreated by the people around you CONSTANTLY for your entire life, without any breaks, and when that's done you're then blamed for it all, it really does take a toll on your mental health, and trust me when I say that it royally screwed my entire life over, I MEAN IT.

I had to face constant stigma and ableism for over 13 years, and the harder I tried to fix myself, the more people had pushed me away.

So, I'm gonna be BRUTALLY honest when I say this:

I've given up on wanting to go to college because it's way to expensive, I gave up on wanting a career because there's nothing out there worth doing, I gave up on even trying to find a job in the first place because nobody wants to hire a mentally unstable retard with no work experience, and overall I've just abandoned all of my passions and ambitions. All because people have kicked me when times got rough, and when I tried my best to make things right, it was never enough, they still kept pushing me down, and I just can't do it anymore.

And it doesn't help that my basic human rights are slowly being stripped away from me because I happen to be a disabled queer trans AFAB kid with a mental illness, basically meaning that by the time I make it to my 20's (if I don't kill myself before I make it to 18), I'll be living in a constant hellhole where I'll die in the worst ways possible to humankind.

All I'm ever going to be in life is this sad, mentally unstable, egotistical virgin who makes other people's life worse, and there is nothing I can do to change that, let alone anyone else.

I was doomed to be like this since the day I was born. And that's probably one of the hardest things I had to accept as a borderline auDHD person.

And that's the entire reason why I want to drop out of school, it's making my mental health worse anyway, and what's the point of being in school if I'm not gonna have a good life regardless??

And instead of actually listening to me, my bitch ass parents told me to suck it up and that my feelings were invalid and that I deserve to suffer, and honestly, fuck them.

"I was like you two when i was your age, and I regretted it, so you should stay in school" good for you i guess, but that won't change shit.

Stop pretending like I have a future, you're only making it worse.

good thing I'm suspended for 3 days so that I won't have to put up with school for the rest of the week...

Anyway I'm supposed to be working on homework rn, but I'm not going to because there is no reason to.

yes my bf knows about this acc

What am I meant to do?