Shaking Crying Throwing Up - Tumblr Posts

Nahh cause like wtf red ☹

Nahh cause like wtf red ☹

I LOVE HIM SM!!!!! I LOVE THEM ALL OMG! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

“No more babysitting.” But he does it for the rest of his life.

YOUR HONOR THOSE WERE HIS KIDS IM GONNA BE SICK 😭.

I am NEVER going to stop thinking about Caleb screaming Jester’s name when she falls to the Neo-cognouza NEVER I am never going to stop never going to stop thinking about him willing reality to move her to a safe space NEVER stop thinking about it I will never stop I will never stop thinking about him screaming at Lucien about how you love her you love her and you’re killing her (he loves her he loves her) I am NEVER going to stop thinking about it

been thinking abt “I don’t know how to do anything without you” and “I don’t know how to live” for like 12 hours now. no reason I’m just thinking

Just watched round 6 from Alien Stage and honestly? Idk how am I meant to ever recover from this

.

Part 2!

Everything is falling apart.

Please remember that the characters' point of view is different from yours. They don't know that after the hurt comes comfort

Part 1 Next

screaming crying throwing up literally combusting

potc kiss 🏴‍☠️💖

i saw this tweet and became a man possessed as i drew it as fast as i could

havin' all these Splinter and Leo thoughts. augh.

this is partly the fault of @/turtleblogatlast's post about Leo just wanting to make Splinter proud.

post-movie

...

Seven days post-invasion, and Leo is feeling (relatively) pretty good. Sure, he's still on a truly ridiculous amount of painkillers and he can't walk two steps without collapsing, but he's able to stay awake and talk to his family and considering where he thought he would be right about now, well... that's everything.

So yeah, he's feeling pretty good. He just finished his lunch of soup and a protein shake, warm and a little drowsy while he listens to April talk about some of the more ridiculous conspiracy theories that have started spreading on the surface. Donnie's tinkering with one of his smaller inventions while he listens, Mikey is nestled in Raph's lap, and everything is calm and cozy in their makeshift medbay.

And then his dad walks in and says, "I would like to talk to Blue, please. Alone."

And suddenly Leo doesn't feel so good anymore.

"Aha, wait," he says quickly, reaching out and grabbing April's sleeve just before she rises from her chair. "Whatever it is, you can say it in front of everyone, right?"

Splinter shakes his head. "This is a conversation I think it is best we have in private." He makes a shooing motion at the others, and April pulls her sleeve from Leo's fingers with a helpless shrug.

"See ya in a few, Leo," she says, then walks out. The others look from Splinter, to him, then back to Splinter, and one by one they each get up and shuffle out, too, with their own hasty farewells.

Traitors, every single one of them.

The door closes, and Leo finds himself alone with Splinter for the first time since coming back from Staten Island. Or at least, the first time he can remember. He was pretty out of it the first few days; most of what he remembers is muddled and confused. And embarrassing. He cried a lot more than he'd care to admit.

Splinter hops into chair April was sitting in and pulls it closer; he has to stay standing to be anywhere near eye level with Leo. He wishes he could read Splinter's face, but his expression is giving nothing away. Sometimes it's easy to forget he spent a not-insignificant part of his life as an actor, until something like this happens.

Leo decides to speak before he can. Head him off at the pass, or something.

"If you're going to yell at me, just remember my eardrums are already damaged."

Which is true - turns out being 1, too close to an exploding alien spaceship and 2, getting punched in the head repeatedly by an alien very mad about said exploding spaceship is bad for the ears, even when you don't have outer ears like a human. So super loud noises are a bad idea right now, and thus Leo cannot be yelled at. Flawless logic; maybe he can keep using that every time he gets in trouble.

For the first time, his dad's expression shifts, just a little. A deeper frown, a heavier set to his brow.

"You think I came in here to yell at you?"

Leo feels his stomach twist. Does he have to spell it out? "I mean, didn't you? That's usually what kicking everyone else out is leading up to."

"I see..." Splinter is still unreadable, looking a little too intensely at Leo. "And what do you think I want to yell at you about?"

He really does want it spelled out. Leo suddenly realizes that there won't be any yelling because this is his punishment: to admit everything he's done, to speak all his sins for his dad's ears. Lay it all out in his own tongue and show that he understands, really and truly, the depths of his screwups.

Oh, he understands. He understands it so well he may choke on the words.

"...For losing the key," he says finally, and it stings on its way out. He hasn't talked about it since it happened; every time he tries to say anything to the others, they shush him, saying, "It's okay, Leo, everything is fine now."

It's not okay, and everything isn't fine, and this is when he finally hears about it.

Finally, an identifiable emotion on Splinter's face: horror, dawning clear and present. And Leo doesn't understand that, because doesn't Splinter know he lost the key? He was there for that conversation, wasn't he? Leo's memories of that day have grown a little hazy between the drugs and the recovery and the fact that thinking about it for too long makes him go fuzzy around the edges, but he's pretty sure he remembers Splinter being there. He flicked popcorn at Leo's head. He probably should have done more than that; maybe then Leo wouldn't have made such a mess of things.

Splinter doesn't say anything right away, just stares at Leo with that horrified expression, and the silence is so scary that Leo starts filling it without even thinking.

"I was kidding about the whole... not yelling at me thing. I know I deserve it. I mean, I was fooling around, doing what you and Raph told me not to do, and I doomed the whole world doing it! Some leader I am, right? And I know I'm not exactly your favorite son to begin with, and that's fair, because I keep letting you down, but this is definitely my worst screwup to date, and you yell at me when I don't close the fridge door all the way or throw balls around the TV room so why wouldn't you yell at me for destroying the planet, right...?"

His voice peters out at the end, too hoarse to continue. That's the most words he's strung together over the last week, and for the first time he's glad for his injuries, for stopping him from spewing any more embarrassing word vomit just to fill the air.

Splinter is still looking at him with that same horrified expression. If anything, he just looks more upset, which means that Leo at least accomplished his goal.

Leo's waiting for the yelling to start, but when Splinter finally says something, it's, "You think I have a favorite son?" throwing Leo for a loop once again.

"Uh, yeah?" he says, because that's all there is to say. He's always assumed it's Donnie - the "funny one", the one who fixes Splinter's TV when it's broken, and the only one of them likely to get a real job and move out of the house. But even if it's not Donnie, it's gotta be Mikey, or Raph. His brothers are amazing and talented, and all Leo has ever been good at is winning the Lair Games.

Splinter closes his eyes a moment, and when he opens them his face moves back to a more neutral expression. "I do not have a favorite son," he says, firm and serious. "I love all of you just the same."

Leo thinks that can't be true - if it is, he feels bad for the other guys. But he doesn't think he can just say that, so he says, "Yeah, Dad, of course," instead.

Splinter looks a bit crestfallen. "You don't believe me?" he asks, and shoot. Leo has no idea how to respond to that.

"...I know you love us," is what he says. And that's true, it is! He just doesn't know how his dad could like him as much as the others.

Splinter's expression turns sad. He reaches out and lays a furry hand on Leo's arm, careful of his bandages and all the many wires he's hooked to. "You think you doomed the world?"

"I lost the key," Leo repeats. "It was all my fault. It's why I had to..." His voice fumbles over the words, and he revises. "It's why it had to be me."

Splinter's mouth twists. He climbs out of the chair and onto the mattress, careful not to jostle Leo as he settles down on his knees.

"Blue," he says softly, gently palming Leo's face this time. "None of this was your fault."

Leo's stomach twists again. He thought he was being punished, but somehow this is worse.

"Yes it was," he argues. "I lost the key," for the third time, "and... and I ignored the order to retreat, and got Raph captured, and and and, I ignored the guys and tried to force our way into Metro Tower, and it was me who told Donnie to try to fly that stupid ship, and because of me Mikey had to-"

"Leonardo," says Splinter, sharp, and Leo goes silent. His dad looks devastated, but he keeps his hand on Leo's cheek, brushing with his thumb, and for the first time Leo realizes his skin is wet. Splinter sighs heavily, his entire frame seeming to droop with the weight of it.

"Leonardo," he repeats, softly this time. "You did not doom the world."

"But-"

A furry finger on his lip quiets him.

"You did not doom the world," Splinter repeats, once again firm and serious. "You did not take the theft of the key seriously, because you did not know what it was, the threat it represented. But it was the Foot Clan who chose to use that key, fully knowing what evil it would unleash. That is not on you, my son. The responsibility falls squarely on them."

Leo doesn't know how much he can believe that - isn't it their job to stop the Foot Clan? But Splinter looks so sure as he says it, and his hand is still tender on Leo's cheek, and for the first time a little bit of doubt seeps into Leo's heart, telling him that maybe, just maybe, this wasn't all his fault after all.

But still...

"Even if that's true," he says, with heavy emphasis on the if, "everything I did after that-"

"You are young," his dad interrupts. "You are inexperienced. You are learning. And the amount of growth you showed us all, even over just that one day... You shined as brightly as I know you can."

Again, Leo's stomach does a twist - but it's a happier one, this time. Splinter's voice is sincere, leaving no room for doubt, and Leo can almost, almost believe that this is true, that his dad has believed in him from the very beginning. Has seen something in him, whatever it was that led him to make Leo the leader, that lead to him putting trust in Leo.

He just wishes he felt like he'd done more to earn it.

"You did not doom the world," says his dad again. "You saved it. But, it never should have been like that to begin with. You should never have been facing down such a fierce foe so young, especially as alone as you boys were. And you-"

His voice becomes choked up, and Leo's heart lurches.

"You... sacrificed yourself to save us all. I... I am your father, and I... could not protect you."

He's crying. His dad is crying, and Leo feels panic, reaching out to try and stop this.

"Dad-"

"No." Splinter holds up a hand, giving his head a hard shake. "All I ever wanted for you boys was to save you from the sacrifices asked of our family. And yet I could not - and for that, you paid dearly. You almost paid the ultimate price, and we almost lost you forever."

A thick knot forms in Leo's throat, and he can barely get out, "I'm okay, Dad, I'm here."

"Yes you are." Splinter squeezes his shoulder desperately. "You are here. You are safe. But that doesn't change that it should not have been you to begin with."

Leo watches in dawning horror as Splinter steps back, then kneels over on the mattress.

"This is why I came in here, Blue. Not to yell at you. To apologize."

He presses his forehead against the sheets.

"I am so sorry that I could not protect you."

He's crying. So is Leo, openly now. He reaches out for his dad, fumbling for his shoulders and urging him to straighten up.

"No, Dad... This wasn't your fault!"

"But-"

"No! It was just... it was just a really, really shitty thing that happened, okay? It was the Foot Clan, and the Krang, but it wasn't- it wasn't..."

Splinter raises his face and looks at him, and suddenly the words he's been trying to get Leo to believe for the last several minutes barrel into him and Leo crumbles.

"...I didn't have to do it," he says.

"No." Splinter gets up, coming closer. "You had nothing to atone for. You did it because you are brave, and you are kind, but this was never yours to fix."

Leo sucks in one harsh breath, then another, and then he's sobbing harder than he ever has in his life, and his dad hugs him tight, his arms warm and his fur soft where Leo buries his face in his shoulder.

All the feelings he's pushed aside - the ones he didn't think he had the right to feel, because he'd had to do it, he had to make up for his mistakes - bubble over, gripping him with grief and despair but also relief, that he's still here to cry and be hugged by his dad.

"I was so scared."

"I know."

"I thought I wouldn't see you guys again."

"I know. We thought we had lost you, too."

"I just... I didn't know what else to do... I couldn't let him... I couldn't..."

"Shhh, it's alright. It's over now. We're all safe."

Leo hugs his dad back, as tightly as he can with his injuries, and sobs and sobs until he's all out of tears. And all along, his dad tells him he is safe, he is good, and he is loved.

Later, Leo feels even better than he had before.

Rudy Francisco//l, e on tik tok//Althea Davis//my screenshot//@/cosima.333 on tik tok

oh

oh my gosh i need a vampire tony like RIGHT NOW @ vorarit PLEASE

a snippet from PB vampire story

It was only after he had made Tony his full business partner that he learned the truth. Tony wasn’t human. One late night he came across Tony feeding on a rival that had been giving them particular trouble recently. Pete had stood there petrified as Tony had let the man drop dead to the floor of their storehouse. 

“Ah, Pete,” Tony had said. “It was only a matter of time wasn’t it?” 

Pete hadn’t been able to take his eyes off the dead man, “Are you going to kill me?”

Tony had smiled then, showing off his pointed fangs. “I hope not, that would be such a waste for someone as talented as you. I am going to change you.” 

Tony had stalked towards him and Pete hadn’t even thought to run, he had only stood there as if mesmerized.

NOOoOaoaOkOIIjanaksnsks oh my gooosh you didnt!!! this THIS THIIIS!!! tell me you have a 100k fic ready to be posted about this please please 😭😭🙏🙏

snorth royalty au but it's set in an imperial harem where sonic is a tribute concubine sent for a royal prince's household and he hates hates hates the foreign country that defeated his own and forced to come as a tribute so he comes dressed all pretty with assassination in mind. if he's gonna die on foreign soil, then he'll take someone of the wretched royal blood down to the grave with him

So he has a poisoned knife hidden in his dress and all, all ready to strike, when in comes North. and Sonic really, really wants to kill him but… he's sorta cute. and stupid enough to set the entire room on fire by overturning a candelabra.

so he stops. not because the prince is cute or anything, but he's so silly… he'll be killed in the struggle for the throne even if sonic lets him go, or accidentally choke on a drink and die. not because he looks cute when he smiles at sonic, and def not because he looks like a puppy all excited for a treat ( the treat being sonic smiling back)

do you think solas is haunted by inquisitor ameridan's words about telana?

A: "telana escaped the battle. did she... do the records say what became of her?"

L: "she returned to the island. from what we can tell, she died trying to reach you through dreams."

A: "i asked her not to. she was a good hunter and the love of my life, but she never *sigh*"

***

A: "take moments of happiness where you can find them. the world will take the rest."

***

A: "then i leave the world in good hands. the passage of time can be delayed, but not ignored. i will soon join telana at andraste's side. take this. it holds the last few memories of an old hunter who was neither as wise nor as strong as he thought. fight well, inquisitor. i am honored to have met you."

Bakugou x Y/N YCH WIP

This'll be available as a coloured + rendered commission for around $70

Deprave │ KTH (M)

↞Descent │↞Desire

Series Masterlist

Summary: Taehyung is your drug, quickly working his way into your system and intoxicating you until you can't live without him.

A/N: Thank you for all the love on the previous parts!! If you enjoy this please reblog and send feedback!!!

Tag list: @fingers-crossed-07 @yourtmblrgirlfriend @teekook @lcmoncxke @ageneralweirdo @everrrlasting Enjoy!!!!!!

Word count: 5k

Yandere! Artist! Taehyung x Naïve! Fem! Reader

This story is 18+ and contains triggering themes including but not limited to: romanticism of yandere behavior, obsessive ideation, kidnapping, heavy manipulation, name calling, descriptions of child neglect, depictions of violence, familial abuse, ptsd, murder (self defense-kth's father is a pos), trauma bonding, description of a panic attack. If you are sensitive to these themes do not read.

Other tags: porn with plot, hyyh au!, crime family ot7 au!, soft yandere, oral, y/n squirts dont @ me, lots of introspection, codependency

I do not condone the actions in this work of fiction!

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

You too are hot. That's all you feel as you wake up, bare flesh sticking against Taehyungs, cheek resting on his bicep, facing him. Taehyung is also hot, the thought makes you smile as you study his sleeping face. He is laying on his stomach, back exposed to you with his face turned in your direction. His hair is messy, pieces sticking in every direction. His mouth is open slightly, snoring softly, worn out from the night before. You blush thinking back to everything he said to you, and how good it made you feel. Everything that you'd done together had been better than anything you could've imagined.

Your eyebrows draw together as you notice scars on his back that you had missed in the few days you'd been together. There are fresh pink scratches that you had left behind but also small, pale circles and slashes- rough, healed over skin- scattered throughout his back. You can only assume the marks were from his father. It was hard to imagine that anyone would ever want to hurt Taehyung, let alone put out cigarettes on him. The more you thought about Taehyung taking the brunt of his fathers abuse to protect his mom and sister, the more your throat started to feel tight. He had a heart of gold and you really hoped that his dad got what he deserved. Nevertheless, it seemed like Tae had to have worked on himself a great deal to become such a well rounded person.

You never would've thought that someone so successful and handsome would care about you in any way. You tried not to give into self deprecating thoughts but you couldn't help but compare yourself to him. He had an amazing personality, being gentle but charming at the same time. He was insanely handsome. He just didn't seem like someone on your level, a paralegal, living paycheck to paycheck in a studio apartment. You were boring, the most exciting thing you'd done in the past month was rescue a stray cat. As much as you tried to be exceptional you always fell short, always being stuck in the monotony of your life. It seemed too good to be true. You hoped last night hadn't been part of a cruel ploy to just use you to pass the time in captivity. Your chest tightens at that thought, feeling guilty for doubting him. Taehyung wasn't the type of guy to play with someone's heart like that.

You think back to his words from last night. 'Even before now I admired how diligent, empathetic, and caring you are.' It warms your heart knowing that he thought about you too before you were in this situation together.  In another timeline maybe you would've been together eventually, this was just the push you both needed to let the feelings bloom. You almost don't want things to return to normal. It was nice to just rest all day, not worrying about work and spending time with someone who adores you. Maybe this isn't so bad, I could get used to this. You roll your eyes at your musings. You're being held against your will right now, get a hold of yourself. This isn't some getaway where you escape the real world with your lover, it's dangerous. The scent of the chloroform was something that you needed to remember, the people holding you could do whatever they wanted to you. Various worst case scenarios begin swimming in your mind, thoughts of true crime cases you'd vaguely heard about popping up. You need to get out soon, fearing the worst for yourself even though you were finding yourself growing comfortable in this confined space.

Small places had a coziness that you had been drawn to all your life. Spaces where most people would complain of being too cramped. When you were small you'd sneak your way into your parents closet and hide behind the clothes hanging up, using a little book light and reading for hours and hours until you heard them call for you, finally noticing your absence. In many ways you were in the same place, hiding from the world, waiting for someone to notice your absence. Thinking back, your parents probably should've kept a better eye on you, it always took them way too long to realize you were gone. You wished you could just count on your parents to come to your rescue, surely they'd notice your absence eventually? Or would they just brush it off thinking that you are too busy to call. You weren't about to get your hopes up that they'd come to your rescue.

Maybe Taehyung would be able to convince Namjoon to let you go, satisfied with only keeping Taehyung captive. Your heart sinks at the thought of Taehyung sacrificing his freedom for you. If you were going to get out it had to be together, you'd live the rest of your life with regret if you didn't. There had to be another way to get you both out.

If you both got sick Namjoon wouldn't want you both to die, maybe you could fake a severe stomach bug and escape when they bring you to the hospital? He could just bring his own doctor to check on you, or have someone escort you both every step of the way. There were so many factors, making your jaw clench in concentration.

Taehyung working things out with Namjoon would probably be your best bet. You could stay in the closet- comfortable in your isolation together for a few more days- it wouldn't hurt. If anything happened that made you actively worried about your safety you could always cross that bridge then. There was no use working yourself up since your captor hadn't disturbed you during your stay so far.

Too wrapped up in your thoughts you don't notice Taehyung's snoring stop, a small smile forming on his face.

"Having fun watching me sleep, princess?" He says with his eyes still closed, his gravely morning voice knocking you out of your reverie. "Cause I can keep pretending if this is what does it for you."

You choke on your own words, mouth still dry and voice a little hoarse.

"I was not, I was just zoned out! I just happened to be zoning out on your face," you chuckle, cheeks warming up in embarrassment. He opens his eyes and cups your cheek, bringing you in for a gentle kiss. You hadn't really noticed last night but his lips are so soft, molding perfectly into yours.

"You can zone out on my face anytime sweetheart," he whispers, not wanting to pop the bubble of morning time intimacy formed between the two of you. You think of how you must look right now, messy is the best case scenario. You probably had morning breath, tangled hair, and swollen eyes from crying last night but he still looked at you like you were the sun his universe revolves around. A soft smile graces your lips.

"You promise?"

"Of course."

He pushes his arms under your back, rolling you under him as he makes space for himself between your legs, littering your face and neck with soft kisses, tickling you in the process. You half-heartedly struggle, giggling under his touch, caged by his arms. You catch his lips with your own, smiling into the kiss, thoughts and concerns about your parents and escaping being moved to the back burner. This felt too good to ruin with your worries that could wait. You reach over his shoulders and weave your fingers into his silky hair, keeping him in your embrace. Your legs open to accommodate him, wrapping around his hips as he rests part of his body weight on you.

"Be careful baby, I might get too comfortable and want to stay like this all day," he growls, nipping at your neck with a little bit of force, reminding you of the lovebites and bruises left from the night before. "Or is that what my little slut wants?"

Goosebumps run through your body as his breath hits the shell of your rear. A breathy whine escapes your lips, your hips reflexively bucking against him. This just eggs him on further, grinding agonizingly slow against your heat. His deft hands make their way to your plump chest, rolling your nipples between his digits. The mix of pleasure and pain only caused you to feel needier, trying to press yourself closer to him.

"P-please Tae," you cry, seeking more friction but not getting enough to satisfy your need.

"What do you need princess? Use your words," he slows his pace to a near stop as he teases you. Your head is growing foggy with arousal.

"Need you, I need you so bad, please-" you just wanted him to touch you again, it felt like he was a drug that you were going through withdraws from. He pulls away from your neck and gives you a quick kiss on the lips, pulling away after to check in with eye contact.

"It's okay baby, I'm gonna make you feel good. Is it okay if I taste your needy little pussy?" Your eyes flick from his to his full lips, imagination running wild at the thought of him eating you out. You nod your head quickly, the only thing you can voice is a hum in approval. He looks like a man starved as he descends down your body, stopping momentarily to suck on your nipples softly. All of your soft noises encourage him further as he gives each some attention, pulling off with a pop and looking at them with hazy, blown out eyes.

"You're so fucking beautiful, I can't believe how lucky I am."

Growing impatient, Taehyung grips your legs and buries his head between them, needing to taste your nectar from the source. He eats you out like a man starved, tongue flat against you, pressing firmly as he laps up all your gathered essence from your slit to your clit. His mouth is so hot and soft, sucking on your clit as you writhe under him. You've never felt anything like this, the vibrator you used and your fingers were no comparison to this man depraved. It takes him an embarrassingly short amount of time to pull an orgasm from you but he doesn't stop there, keeping you trapped in the euphoria of your high as he continues his assault. His nails bite the soft skin of your thighs as he readjusts his position, holding your legs open as he focuses on overstimulating you. You struggle to stay still, your reflexes causing you to try and close your legs around him and push him away. You want to be still for him but it's so hard when his mouth is driving you crazy. Nails digging into your palms as your fists clench in the sheets, trying your hardest to keep your lower half from fighting him.

"I know you're doing your best baby but you need to hold still for me, I'm still hungry for you and I'm not gonna stop till you give me one more," he pries your legs apart, spanking your pussy lightly. "You can do one more, baby, be a good girl for me."

The need to be good for him washes over you, filling you with the strength you need to resist your instincts to fight him off. You nod, whimpering, unable to form coherent thoughts other than needing to obey him. You squeeze your eyes shut again, gripping your own thighs to hold them open, knuckles going white. With his newly free hands he adds his two middle fingers inside you to overwhelm you further. It was all too much, his fingers pumping with a gentle but consistent pace combined with his mouth on your clit has you seeing stars. You panic as a familiar warm feeling settles in your core, tapping Taehyung's arm.

"Taehyung it feels like I'm gonna pee stop-"

"Shhh no you're not, it's okay just let go for me," he soothes in his sweet, condescending tone. The pace of his fingers speed up, building the feeling inside you until it comes to a peak, pulling his fingers out as you violently squirt. Not wanting any of your cum to go to waste he dives his mouth back onto your slit, lapping up everything you had to offer him. Once you're thoroughly fucked out he finally lets up, giving your clit one last kiss, smirking at your full body shiver from the aftershocks of the most intense orgasm you'd ever had. Your eyes are blurry from squeezing them shut so tight, your body feels like static in the best way, legs sore as you stretch them back out from their previous position. Taehyung eyes you, wiggling his eyebrows, clearly feeling confident in his skills. He moves back up to your level, kissing you passionately-letting you taste yourself on him- before cuddling into you, content.

You wonder if every morning could be like this, waking up with someone who makes your heart swell so much you thought it might burst. Without thinking you utter "I love-" cutting yourself off before you finish that thought out loud. You didn't want to guilt him into repeating the same back to you, afraid of hurting you.

He never misses anything, pulling back to look you in the eyes.

"What was that?" He says, tone more serious than you were used to, head tilted to the side.

"I love this, that's what I was saying," you brush him off, looking away from his intense eye contact. Displeased with you looking away he guides your chin back to facing him.

"Look at me princess," he warns, eyebrows drawing together. "Do you remember what I told you last night? You don't have to hide your feelings from me. I want it all, your ups, your downs, everything. Are you sure that's what you meant?"

Do you love him? You know it should be too soon to feel this strongly about someone but you can't deny that he was now part of your heart. It was hard to deny the deep affection you held for him, and you didn't really want to be away from him anytime soon. Every new thing he shared about himself, every song he hums to himself, every piece of art he creates, everything he did amazed you in some way. 

Should you tell him right now? You didn't want to scare him off, thoughts of him pulling away after made you worry. But if he didn't feel the same, why would he have checked with you? If he didn't love you too he could've ignored it, right? He looked almost disappointed when you brushed him off, that had to mean something. Convinced in your line of reasoning you decide to take a leap of faith in him. 

"I love you, I'm sorry," you stutter out, eyes focusing on the mole above his lip. "I know it's too soon and I probably sound like some lovesick virgin but I think I love you. I just didn't want to say that because I don't want you to pity me and say it back before you feel the same way. You just make me feel better than anyone I've ever met and I'm bad at keeping my mouth shut."

He lets you finish, eyebrows relaxing as his demeanor turns back to warm and comforting. He gives you a moment to look back into his eyes before he replies.

"I love you too, and I'm not saying that for any other reason than it being the truth. I know I said last night that we didn't have to put a label on what we have but if you feel the same way about me I don't see a reason not to. I love you, I love you, I love you. If you want me to keep saying it until you're convinced I'm not just pitying you I will."

You feel like all the oxygen in the room has been taken away. His eyes didn't waver, he didn't stutter, everything that he said appeared to be the whole truth. This was the first time you had said those three words to someone romantically to be met with the same energy. So used to the awkward rejections, or worse, the forced 'I love you's you weren't prepared for what Taehyung had given you. Total and complete acceptance and love. You can't stop the tears from falling.

"Really?" you're able to get out in between hiccups.

"Really really, I promise," he trades your positions, pulling you on top of him while he shushes your cries, humming softly while pushing your hair behind your ear and playing with it while you calm down. "I'm sorry it seems so far-fetched that I'd love you, it's honestly hard not too, you're the best."  The soothing feeling of his hands in your hair and his quiet song, making his chest vibrate comforted you.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

Moments like these make Taehyung regret lying to you the most. His love was real, he'd always been genuine with his feelings for you, maybe holding back a bit. Still, he felt guilty for deceiving you, knowing that if you ever found out the truth your faith in him could be shaken. If only you had been able to see how the world was infecting you, dimming your light.  He wished that you would've come to him before any of the lies and deceit and asked him to sweep you away and rescue you from the cruel world. Before now that notion would've never even crossed your mind. He knew the lies would be worth it. To you he used to only be a passing neighbor and Taehyung knew you'd never make a move to change that. He still knew that lying to you was wrong, and he hoped that eventually you'd see things his way on your own. You didn't need anyone else but him, he'd love you more than enough to make up for anyone else's meager attempts at loving you. It was so easy with you, you were just so receptive to his love it was like you knew deep down that you were his.

He'd show you the real world, pulling off the blinders that you had on throughout your day to day life. If you could see how little your friends cared about you you'd understand. He'd expose them, he'd already had all of their information, their social media, addresses, access to their phone records. It'd be as simple as letting you read through one of their group chats which conveniently excluded you. There were multiple instances of them gossiping about you and betraying your trust. That would disappoint you but it wouldn't be enough. All the plans that they made as a group week after week, without even thinking about inviting you would be what finally plants the seed of resentment inside you.

Your family was a different story, you seemed much more willing to accept your family's mistreatment. Checking the phone logs of outgoing and incoming calls and texts made it obvious that you were pulling most of the weight in your relationships. You didnt talk to many of your relatives, the only people you contacted regularly were your parents. Going back through your text conversations over the years Taehyung could piece together how your parents treated you. To him it felt like your parents had just given up after you went to college, maybe even before then. They pulled away checking in less and less, maybe to save the pain of having an empty nest or it was just easier after you were independent. They never offered to help you through school, acting like getting the scholarships you'd worked tirelessly for were easy to come by. The second you turned 18 it was like you were a fully developed adult in their eyes and they were eager for you to get out of their hair. They converted your room into an office space only days after you had moved away, solidifying the fact that you wouldn't be welcome to return home if you ever needed to. They even sent you pictures, proud of all the hard work they'd put in erasing your existence from their life like it was supposed to make you happy. For some years it seemed like you had pulled away too, but after a health scare your father went through a couple years ago, you made more of an effort to reach out. Even in an emergency they wouldn't treat you with respect, demanding that you drop everything in your life to come help take care of your father. It didn't matter that you had appointments with advisors or that the cost of last minute travel would be exorbitant. Out of guilt and the fear of losing your parents you obliged, further cementing your innate belief that their needs came before your own. 

When you had your own emergency -a burst appendix- you had called and texted them over and over without either of them answering. You were fine after an emergency surgery but you were without support. Once they finally returned your calls -they had been at dinner together- they didn't see a reason to make the trip to see you since you were alive and stable. Back when he poured over your text conversation during this time Taehyung was dumbfounded and enraged that anyone could be so horrible to you. If he had been in your life he would've done anything, no matter how hard, to be by your side. 

He did some further digging into your parents, wanting to find something that would make you have no choice but to cut ties with them. Through Hoseok's connections he was able to get a copy of their current will and testament and he knew that it would be the key. They weren't planning on leaving anything of value to you, their life insurance benefactors were their lesser off siblings-your aunts and uncles- they'd be leaving you with their vehicles and their possessions. They had no property because they rented the home they lived in so if anything happened to both of them you'd get stuck with finding a home for all their belongings and the chore of selling two cars since you already had your own. Hopefully that would be your last straw.

Eventually he'd find a way to show you the true character of your loved ones, it just had to be done carefully. He'd given Namjoon all of the information so that if there was ever a good moment to show you he could do it for him, that would save him some of the headache. 

At least he could rest knowing that you'd fallen for him, the sight of your eyes shining with joy unmistakable. Now his goal was to break you down so that you couldn't live without him. The sound of the metal door opening and two trays of breakfast being slid inside your cell breaks Taehyung from his train of thought.

"C'mon angel we need to eat, I can't have you passing out on me," he moves to sit up, chuckling at the whine you let out from having your rest disturbed. You sit up too, pouting a little as he moves away from you off the bed. He stretches out his sore muscles, giving you a nice view as he retrieves your respective meals.

After breakfast you take a shower together, deciding to plan out how you'd get out together after. Taehyung had a way of easing your fears and soothing anxiety that you'd built up inside that you didn't quite understand yet. You knew that talking out your ideas with him would be for the best.

Now that you'd confessed your feelings it was much harder for you to focus on something besides each other. Every time he touched you your heart leapt,, even just light kisses pressed against your forehead. As much as you didn't want to admit it, it felt good to be in here and subconsciously you caught yourself avoiding the subject of escape. You begin to admire every part of Taehyung during the shower. The water dripped down his back. Droplets clinging to his hair. His strong hands as he washes his body diligently, quiet, in his own world.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

His father had been belligerent, screaming in his face after coming home with the stench of liquor hanging on his breath.

He didn't mean to.

He couldn't stop himself.

He didn't have a choice.

When his mother tried to defend him she was pushed away, slamming into the wall with a solid crack, the noise sending Taehyung into a frenzy. His father threw him to the ground as well, turning around to face his sister, cowering in the corner. The bright green of the broken soju bottle a few feet away was the only thing he saw, bile rising in his throat as he urgently crawled towards it.

He couldn't hear anything else besides his fathers voice ringing in his ears.

'You're a piece of shit. You never should've been born. The world would be better off without a shithead punk like you.'

Time stopped. Adrenaline filled his body with the strength to stand, the bottle neck tight in his grip. The bottle pierced his father's stomach so much easier than Taehyung had imagined. The blood was so wet and hot and unyielding.

He couldn't stop there, if he did his family wouldn't ever be safe

He dug the bottle deeper, remembering all the times his father had made him or his family keel over in pain or cower in fear. The bastard stopped his rampage, turning to face his son in shock. He lunged toward Taehyung, hands moving to the boy's throat to try and defend himself.

Its kill or be killed.

Taehyung had the upper hand, beating his father to his own throat, dropping the bottle and squeezing the elders neck as hard as he could. He barely registered his own blood soaked hands making it difficult to get a good grip .

It felt like hours waiting for him to stop struggling, body finally giving out and sagging against him.

Taehyung was finally strong enough to stop him, finally able to save his family.

He came to his senses enough to notice his mother's screaming and sisters sobbing once the ringing in his ears stopped. It felt like he was hearing them from underwater. The sound was muffled like when he would submerge his head below during a bath to drown out the sound of his parents arguing.

He was numb as he moved to their bathroom, running hot water over his hands, the blood mixing with the water, tainting what was once clean. He looked down at his clothes -blood making them stick to his flesh- growing sick to his stomach. The shirt he wore, now stained red used to be white. He shrugged off the clothing and stepped into the shower, letting the hot water wash away his sins. The water was so hot, burning his skin, washing away the crimson evidence of his accident.

That's all it was, an accident.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

Static filled Taehyung's ears but he knew someone was calling for him. Someone important.

"▓▓▓▓!" he couldn't tell what they were saying but it sounded urgent.

"Taehyung!"

He feels the fog wash away as his eyes focus on yours, water still pouring over you both. Your eyes are watery and panicked. Your nails scratched at his forearms as his hands tighten against your delicate throat the same way they had many years ago. Recognition consumes him as he releases you, a wave of panic and guilt hitting him like a brick wall. He can tell that you're confused and scared, tears streaming down your face as your legs give out under you. He can't stop tears of his own, collapsing in front of you, mind racing, trying to think of ways to atone for what he'd done.

"Fuck- I'm so sorry y/n baby, I don't know what happened. I'm sorry- what did I do?" His question falls on deaf ears as you heave, trying to fill your lungs with oxygen as quickly as you could. "I-I-I don't know what just happened, it was like- like I was back at home with my father and I- I I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I love you so much I never wanted to hurt you y/n."

You don't know what to do with yourself, you feel so exposed, confused, and scared. Your neck is sore but luckily he regained composure quickly, you hadn't been deprived of oxygen for too long.

Taehyung looks just as confused as you are and despite what just happened you feel your heart break for him. He is crying harder than you'd ever seen before, panic filling his frame as he rushes to the toilet, throwing up from the shock, dry heaving after his stomach was empty. He kept apologizing, over and over, shaking from fear of what he'd done to you. You knew this had to be a trauma response or something similar, he wouldn't hurt you if he was in his right mind. You knew that. You decide to trust your heart and move toward him, crawling on your knees to the corner of the shower where he was holding himself, trying and failing to calm down.

"Hey hey hey, look at me," you speak softly, trying to soothe his panic attack as gently as you knew how. "I'm okay-I'm okay, I promise baby."

"Fuck fuck I'm so sor-" he can't stop another hiccupping sob from his body, looking even more confused as you shush his cries. "Wh- why- why are you over here? I hur-hurt you."

"I'm okay, I know you didn't mean it," you try your best not to sound too hoarse, fresh tears pricking at your eyes as you see how broken and vulnerable the man you loved looked right now. He looks like he is going to reach for you but he holds himself back.

"Ca-can I touch you?" he asks, eyes pleading for your comfort and warmth. You nod and scoot closer so he can wrap you in his embrace, squeezing you delicately but firmly, rocking you both back and forth. You stay like that for a while, letting your breathing regulate together and your heart rates slow. Once his breathing slows down he pulls away from you just enough to inspect your neck. There wasn't too much damage, the skin was pink there weren't any visible bruises besides the ones he knew were from the night before.

"What happened?" he asks, eyes pleading for your honesty.

"I don't know, you were zoned out for a few minutes then I tried to get your attention and that's when it happened," you explain, your voice full of understanding. "I don't know what you've been through but I know you and I know you'd never hurt me, that's why I'm not scared of you right now."

"This will never happen again, I promise you," he is once again amazed at you, your kindness and compassion holding no bounds even though he didn't deserve it. He never wanted to hurt you again, the thought of it hurt him tenfold. "God I don't deserve you at all do I angel?"

"I think everyone deserves a bit of grace and understanding, you've been through a lot haven't you?" you work your fingers through his still damp hair, adrenaline starting to wear off as you start to feel the soreness in your neck. Logically you knew you should be scared of him but you couldn't find it in yourself to be. He had shown you the most raw, vulnerable parts of himself and that made you feel special, you would be his safe space.

"Y-yeah, that's true but if I ever do that again I don't even-"

"You won't do it again, I know you won't, repeat it back to me" you interrupt before he can start to talk himself into a corner.

"I won't do it again," he repeats, maintaining eye contact with you.

"It was an accident."

"It was an accident."

"Good, you can't go there Tae, it'll be really hard to get yourself out," you say gently, nuzzling into the crook of his neck, kissing the skin softly.

"Thank you baby, I love you so much," you feel tears falling from his cheeks to your own. "How'd I get so lucky, huh?"

"I don't know, but I'm happy you did."

A/N: Part 4- Despise Coming Soon! Thank you so much for reading!!!!! Sorry it took a hot second to come out but its all done!!! Reply if you want to be on the tag list!

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

OH MY GOSH I AM NOT CALM HELPPPP

IT'S CALLED "SR Ally Shawn-Moonlight Crisis" AND I HAVE A CHANCE TO GET THIS GORGEOUS BOI????? BECAUSE HE AINT AN SSR???????? I AM LITERALLY SHAKING RN DSHGJHFDKHKDFH I CAN FINALLY GET HIMMMM 😭

LOOK AT HIM LOOK AT HIM LOOK AT HIMMMMM I CANTTTT----

photos re: Life Makeover on FB

I Saw the TV Glow(2024) dir. Jane Schoenbrun // An Apartment on Uranus by Paul B. Preciado

ONLY AN HOUR AND AN HALF

LETZ GO LETZ GO LETZ GO LETZ GO LETZ GO LETZ GO LETZ GO