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Hsien-Ko and Mei-Ling Lore Bits 3: Rewrite Edition

During the research for a video essay I am working on, I have come across information that has shaken the foundation of what I have thought about Hsien-Ko and Mei-Ling. While my AU is free to do what I want, I would like my interpretations of Shao Hsien-Ko and Shao Mei-Ling to be based on the foundation of what was established and either expand, change, recontextualize, or add ideas to make them feel like the best they can be. With some additional flavor text that works for the mythos they are in.

With that established, I feel I need to look back at the last 'Lore Bits' I made for them and change information. Rather than edit what was there, I'll instead grab information from each one that must be changed and say how it will be changed here for this Lore Bits on them. A time capsule of what I wrote before with the information I had back then. If I don't bring anything up, then the information on Lore Bits 1 and 2 are still canon to Cryas Darkstalkers.

To begin, Lore Bits 1:

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Hsien-Ko and Mei-Ling Lore Bits

Want to give some scattered bits of lore information regarding the Shao sisters in Cryas Darkstalkers. Help to give you a bit more insight i

Due to the incident that made the sisters aware of what happens when a jiangshi tastes blood, Hsien-Ko and Mei-Ling refuse to eat any meat-based food if it wasn't prepared by them or a very trusted individual.

Blood is no longer an issue as that idea was based on misinterpretations from the Darkstalkers Wiki based on a panel from a manga. They are free to eat whatever they want! That includes the mentioned Blood Sausages in Lore Bits 1.

Oh... turns out that is the only thing as looking back at my 2 Lore Bits, that was the only thing. 😅 However, I did make other things not under the banner of Lore Bits. So let us look at those and see what must be changed. First of all:

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Dark Embrace/ Xié è De Yōngbào(邪恶的拥抱)

During the 'Hunters of the Dark Saga' (around the late 1900s), events lead to Hsien-Ko and Mei-Ling coming across an unusual disturbance in

No longer will this Burst going forward be referred to as Dark Embrace/ Xié è De Yōngbào(邪恶的拥抱). Instead, it shall be known as:

腐敗的拥抱 (Fǔbài de Yōngbào)/Corrupt Embrace

It makes better sense in terms of naming as the Burst was obtained via the Corriyami and the Qi of the sisters effectively corrupting one another in a mixture. While yes, the idea of the name of Corriyami is 'Dark Corruption', I already have a character who has a Burst that can basically mean 'Dark Embrace'. Plus... Corrupt Embrace sounds very cool to me.

Another thing to bring up since it is mentioned in the post: Afflicted with nightmares and even being taunted by her inner darkness, it all comes to a critical point during a battle with a large group of Corrupted, beings who fall victim to Corruption.

Without going into too much detail, the whole 'inner darkness/jiangshi' bit with Hsien-Ko is no longer part of the mythos as that has no bearing at all in the original lore. Just a fabrication. While I liked the idea... I decided to ultimately scrap it as there are other ways Hsien-Ko can deal with the consequences of becoming a jiangshi without the idea of some sentient inner demon in her mind.

Also, Hsien-Ko actually can't sleep proper without the help of Mei-Ling. I'll explain in another Lore Bit.

Onward to the next thing to edit:

After a scuffle with some xianshushi and talking with one of the shifu closest to their mother, they were banished from Xianmencun for their own safety.

Reading the official source I found, I actually want to tweak things. So here it seems to imply there being more shifus. Nah, only Mingxia was a shifu. The lore makes a clear statement that the only practitioners of the sorcery that is on display was only her and the Shao sisters. While I am gonna go with this idea of scarcity in Xian Men Cun, I want to have it to where Mingxia did at least have some other woman that she vetted and saw their potential to utilize magic. A small school of xianshushi of varying levels.

Another thing is that in the lore, it makes clear how their village was basically razed to the ground during the raid. I will go with that idea so there is no real sneaking out and stuff. No banishment.

Next:

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AuraNova26

These are official ref sheets I have made for Hsien-Ko Shao and Mei-Ling Shao of Cryas Darkstalkers. Very proud to detail not only their ful

On both sheets, the term 'ofuda' will no longer be used. While that is the official term in the og lore, that is a term with ties to Japanese Shintoism. Not sure if you noticed, but the sisters are Chinese and no mention of practicing Shintoism. Instead, I will be going forward using the following terms: talisman or 護身符 (hùshēnfú).

To reiterate, the inner jiangshi entity is no longer going to be part of Cryas Darkstalkers. So that Xienian, ignore it. However, her eyes going red is still a thing when she does go berserk.

Overall, in time do need to update these sheets with more accurate aspects, like Hsien-Ko's body frame, an update I want to make to the keyhole on her qipao, and edit the text.

Hmmm, kinda about it. I'll be making a Lore Bits 4 for them to go over some new aspects about them I do wish to share. Look out for it in due time. :)

My take on dah Lavender Town's Ghost.

Meet Ghoulst The Soul Pokémon, aka Lavender Town's, Ghost he is a pokémon that is tormented in your life he escaped from Giratina's location but it scare him and will be tormented in the end of the pokémon world.

He being Cubone's mom makes him just boring and it makes no sense.

Sparklecarehospital redesign & rewrite.

It could be interesting, because the premise of a anthropomorphic cat escaping from a awful hospital with Sparkle Animals is good, but i feel it needs to be rewriten.

Thanks, i at least put effort in dis redesign than Vivziepoop.

What do you think?

I decided to make Ozzie a Ars Goetia demon, not Asmodeus, because he being Asmodeus disturbes me now af. I gave him a sexy outfit that made him confortable, or not.

That’s pretty cool of you made that one

In my interpretation Stolas and Starlla are dead and Octavia is a ruler of Ars-Goetia with her Knights/Bodyguards Shax (who loves Blitzø and Blitzø loves him back) and Platius a envious Ars-Goetia Platypus with four eyes).

"I know for sure Stolitz is gonna become canon but like... why? Where's the connection? They barely know each other. Blitz was right to think it's always been about sex to Stolas - I mean, was Stolas the one to initiate the deal? Yes? Did the bird ever respect his boundaries? No?? Is Stolas racist towards imps? Yes??? Then why tf should they date, especially since this relationship was built on manipulation and rape? Is it because it's gay? Someone please explain."

In my rewrite i made Glitz and Glam more look like Envy and Greed Imp-Succubus hybrid.

did you know glitz and glams storyboard designs were this

vivzie. im gonna riot .

Oh wow! Definitely fits in with the clown theme more than the official designs.

Props to the artist who did theses designs, they look fantastic!

Do you guys want me to rewrite Star vs The Forces of Evil?

Snow White live action is disgus-

Zootopia is a disgusting movie more, the movie tries to criticizes racism but fails af, they allow a fucking NATURALIST CLUB (which is a very heavy and boring scene), but they take off the electric-collars with the excuse that it's heavy for children, dude the movie tries to make you sympathize with Judy, who is very wasted, just try to give her a plot with the Nick Wilde, even being disrespectful, because the creator wanted to put things that would fit in the film, but Disney just like those crap Animation Studios that disrespect their creators and take away their creative freedom, took all that away just to make Judy Hopps the protagonist and not Nick Wilde, Judy is a great protagonist but it would be better if she was the protagonist's partner, also, the Lion being a villain just show how pop culture demonizes animals but romanticizes demons.

Flowers

Enid's favorite flowers were roses.

They were classic. Sweet, romantic, and simple. She never had gotten roses before, no matter how many times she had not so subtlety hinted to Ajax that she wanted some. So she had no idea why they were on her bed.

Tied together with a neat black ribbon, they leaned against the pillows of her bed (which was freshly made by the way, something she definitely didn't do). Enid picked the flowers up, but hissed and dropped them as the thornes in the stems poked her. One had only slightly pricked her, but just as a precaution she slid her sleeves over her hands and tossed them on her vanity as she took a tissue and dabbed at the minor cut on her fingertips.

“Wednesday? Do you know who dropped these flowers off?” Enid muttered, still tending to the cuts on her fingers.

“No.” Said Wednesday.

Enid let her gaze linger on the flowers, and even though she was still disappointed by Wednesdays answer, she felt her mouth slip into a smile from the kind gesture. Enid walked over to Wednesdays side of the room and jumped into her bed without permission, wrinkling Wednesday's black covers. Enid noticed the ways Wednesdays nose twitched in annoyance at it, but her eyes remained glued to her pages she was proof reading and editing in red marker. “It was kind of sweet someone got me flowers, don't you think?” Enid asked, feeling a bubble of warmth blossom in her chest.

“No. They're probably a homicidal maniac” Said Wednesday, in typical Wednesday fashion. Enid felt her face sink into a frown. “Well, I think it was” she muttered, hopping of Wednesdays bed and going to her side of the room, her mood soured from her roommate.

The next bouquet of flowers were bigger. They were just as red- if not redder, and the thorns were neatly snipped off of the stem. Her old bouquet was starting to wilt, and Wednesday seemingly found it the best time to steal them and snip off the rose buds, happily displaying the dying stems in a vase of her own. But Enid had more, so she didn't care. And with the flowers came a note. She flipped it open, revealing something much better than the spiral notebook paper that she had expected. It was a folded card that looked nearly perfectly symmetrical, with elegant red cursive on it.

I noticed the cuts on your fingers. It'll never happen again.

And signing the note, with a flourish we're the words… Secret Admirer .

Enid actually screamed out loud at the words, beginning to spin around joyously. Wednesday groaned quietly. “Enid, what are you doing?” She muttered, only just giving Enid the time of day by turning slightly away from her typewriter. “I have a secret admirer!” Enid exclaimed, throwing herself into a pile of her stuffed animals. She popped her head out of the pile and felt the smile on her face nearly split her cheeks with how big it was. "Oh my gosh, the person getting me flowers likes me!" She cried out, nuzzling her nose into her favorite squishamllow. "I mean, they signed a note with secret admirer!" She revealed, waiting for Wednesdays reaction.

Wednesday held eye contact for maybe a few seconds.

“Well, I'm glad” Wednesday mumbled, in a voice uncharacteristically soft for her. Then she turned right back to her typewriter and kept on writing as if there was nothing better in existence. Enid snuggled further into her pile, grinning at the bouquet on her bed and the note.

Enid frowned at her flowers, gently reaching her thumb out to touch a browning petal. Wednesday set down her book against her chest, turning to look at Enid from her bed. “What are you frowning about?” She said, in an almost annoyed tone. “my flowers are dying,” said Enid, trying to turn the case and see if any flower was still as red as they were when she first got them. They were all browning.

“They're just flowers,” Wednesday grumbled, her braids splaying across her single pillow as her head shifted. “I like them!” Enid snapped, feeling anger deep into the crevices of her stomach and feeding a hunger of emotions. “I think it's really nice.” Enid immediately felt guilty after she snapped, but she didn't say anything about it. It's not like it was her fault. “Isn't it strange that this person knows where you sleep?” Wednesday inquired. Enid blinked owlishly. “Do you know who it is?” She asked, turning to Wednesday. Wednesday immediately buried her nose in her book once more, even though it was upside down. “No.” She said, but Enid knew she was lying. “Well then, it must be one of my friends!” Enid declared, beginning to finger through her hair in curiosity, a nervous habit she never got rid of. Enid's brain began to piece all she knew together, and then it clicked. Enid ran over to the card on her desk, and opened it once more. “I'll just see who's handwriting matches who's!” Enid quickly turned her head at the sharp intake of breath Wednesday sounded. “What? Do you know who it is?” Enid piped, knowing Wednesday would deny it again. “I have no idea what fool would even consider sending flowers to someone they care for. The only person I know foolish enough to do it is my own Mother,” Wednesday mutters, abandoning her book to instead climb out colorful window of their room. Seemed like Enid struck a nerve.

“Enid!” Bianca chimed. Enid quickly turned to her and all but short of ran to her, the both of them quietly squeezing into one of the schools many dead end alleys. “Did you figure it out?” Enid said in a hushed tone, practically vibrating with how excited she was. “Yes,’’Bianca breathed out, silently handing over a piece of paper. Enid took her card out of her skirt pocket with only a slightly clumsy fumble before unfolding the lined paper she was given, comparing the two handwriting. Both were messy cursive, and Enid instantly knew it was the same person. They even dotted their I's with a skull, it was adorable! “Yes!” She hissed, excitedly. She would be moments away from confronting them with their declarations of love! “They're an exact match. Who is it?” She cooed, wiggling on the soles of her feet as she looked up at Bianca. Bianca swallowed, eyes flickering from the paper to Enid. “It's Wednesday.”

“Wednesday!”

Enid screamed, slamming open the door of her dorm room. Wednesday entered through the window, her face looking a bit softer than it usually was. She must've been practicing. Enid could smell the wind on her. “What?” She said, but Enid could barely let her finish. “It was you?!” She choked out, shoving the piece of paper Bianca had given her in Wednesdays hands. “.. If you're saying I wrote these notes, then yes, it was me.” Enid shook her head, not caring about the tears wetting her face and neck. She was probably imagining the way Wednesdays eyes followed them. “No!” She said in between her quickening breaths. “I didn't think so.” Wednesday hummed, folding her note paper quietly and setting it down on her desk. “Did you do it to make fun of me, or to see how long I'd fall for it?” Enid shrieked, with a voice eerily similar to her Mother's.

“Neither” whispered Wednesday, turning her back on Enid. Somehow, that hurt more than when Wednesday looked at her. Enid felt her chest rise and fall in a pace much too quick, mirroring her palpitating heart. “Why?” sobbed out Enid, hunching over in a desperate attempt to catch her breath. Her heart aches in the sense of betrayal, feeling her pulse only quicken under the response of Wednesday.

“I did it because I have feelings for you.”

..

...

.......

Wednesday couldn't sleep again. While many times when she could not sleep she would play her cello, she thought better than to do that. She awoke to a not so quiet shifting coming from Enid's side of the room, making her stir. She rose into a sitting position as she uncrossed her arms, rubbing her eyes. As they adjusted to the Darkness, Wednesday gasped at a new addition on her desk. Carefully, she approached it. She didn't want to set off another sudden motion detected bomb that Pugsley could have sent her. Oh, but it wasn't a bomb at all.

Roses. And in the moonlight, she could clearly see their color.

Black.

Wednesday turned in disbelief, knowing there was only one person who could have done it. She met Enid's eyes. Enid smiled in a feeble, wobbly manner, and Wednesday felt herself lift from her bent position over her desk as though she was light as air. The corner of her mouth twitched slightly, and when she spoke, there was a stark contrast to her usually monotonous voice. “I'm a fool for you as my Mother is to my Father” she admitted. And she only hesitated for a second before she ran into Enid's arms.

Let's begin this by saying that I love She-Ra, however... I watched the video She-Ra and Redemption by The Sin Squad and it inspired me to rewrite one little scene at the end of the series: the one where Scorpia hugs Catra.

Scorpia was right there.

She was having a conversation. Catra shouldn't intrude on that, right? But she couldn't make her feet stop.

Scorpia turned--and her eyes hit Catra with something she was beginning to be very familiar with: guilt.

Catra rubbed her shoulder nervously as Scorpia lifted Frosta from her shoulders and set her on the ground.

Everything was silent for a moment.

It felt strange, not having Scorpia's arms sweep her up into one of those hugs she was so proud of. She was so proud of her hugs, in fact, that she included them in the list of her four best defining qualities. Brave, strong, loyal--Catra's heart sank. She didn't deserve Scorpia's loyalty anymore.

Neither of them spoke for a moment. Perfuma tapped Frosta's shoulder and led her away, the young princess staying quiet for once. Catra wasn't entirely sure if she was thankful for that.

"Look," Scorpia began, before stopping and trying again. "I don't..."

"I get it." Catra smiled in an expression she hoped looked reassuring. She hesitated, before reaching out slowly, hand open. "Truce?"

Scorpia took her hand, and they stared at each other for a long moment.

"Look, I-I'm really sorry. For everything."

Scorpia's eyes turned down to the grass, and she loosened her grip until she wasn't even holding on at all. "I just need a little space."

For a moment, Catra's old habits refused to die. She wanted to grab Scorpia's hand hard--she wanted to pull her towards her--to force her to hug her. 'She's going to leave you,' those instincts whispered, 'You're going to be alone again.'

She gathered the impulse up like she'd learned to do with her anger, and exhaled it slowly. "Okay."

Scorpia turned and walked away. Perfuma smiled at Catra as she went to catch up to her, Frosta racing ahead of her.

A hand rested on Catra's shoulder. It was Adora. "What... what was that?"

She had to start explaining. Oh, Etheria.

"I hurt Scorpia, okay? I hurt her a lot." Catra squeezed her eyes shut, trying her best not to drown in all of the memories.

Adora's grip tightened. "But you're better now! You won't hurt her anymore." She twisted Catra's body, both hands on her shoulders, so she was forced to look into her face. "Why are you pushing her away?"

Catra laughed. It was a dry, hoarse laugh with very little humor in it. "Oh, Adora, I'm not pushing her away. You've seen me push people away before. You know that isn't what I'm doing here."

Her hands wrapped around Adora's.

"I'm letting her go."

"But--but--" Adora seemed confused, so Catra cut in.

"I know you wanted a perfect happy ending. But Scorpia can't be ignored for that." Hoping Adora wouldn't interrupt, she kept going. "For so long, Scorpia was just an afterthought in my story--a sidekick--whose feelings could be completely disregarded."

She looked down, and said, softly. "She asked me to stay with her in the Crimson Waste, and I refused."

Catra shook her head to refresh her thoughts, avoiding Adora's eyes. "But I can't treat her like that anymore."

--

And there it is, folks! Did you like it?

Guardians of Narnia - Prologue

Wrong will be right, when Aslan comes in sight,

At the sound of his roar, sorrows will be no more,

When he bares his teeth, winter meets its death,

And when he shakes his mane, we shall have spring again.

When Adam's flesh and Adam's bone,

Sits at Cair Paravel in throne,

The evil time will be over and done.

All Narnians knew this prophecy by heart. Throughout the 100 years of endless winter, these words brought peace to the Animals and creatures that suffered under the White Witch's reign.

It was recited in hushed tones, whispered in their prayers, that one day, someday soon, the true King would return and banish the Witch back to whatever desolate place she had crawled out of. That Aslan and the fated Two Sons of Adam and Two Daughters of Eve would bring spring back to their land and usher in a new Golden Age.

However, what you, dear reader, may not have known, was the second half of the prophecy.

But while wickedness rules, and enemies reign,

By Narnia's Guardians shall evil's grasp be restrained

Aslan's own they shall be, endowed with gifts by He

Balanced by nature, by day, by night

Until the King returns, with glorious might!

Calypso ReWrite

So a LOT of people don’t like Calypso which is… fair enough

Since I refuse to accept canon I decided to try and ‘fix her’ (I am not a writer) so tell me what you think!

(P.S. If you like Calypso (ESPECIALLY if you like Caleo) please scroll - This is just a thought experiment but I don’t want to insult anyone)

In the Odyssey, Odysseus is trapped on Ogygia with Calypso for 7 years. Calypso falls in love with Odysseus and rapes him during that time. This does not work for a children’s book, so Rick changed it so that Calypso is cursed to fall in love with every man that comes to her island, which is still weird because she’s now 16.

In my version, she’s an adult. When Odysseus shows up, she doesn’t fall in love with him, but grows an unhealthy attachment to him due to being stuck on her island for thousands of years. (though she does mistake this for love) She doesn’t assault him, but still keeps him trapped in Ogygia for the 7 years, before she is told to release him. She gives him a parting gift of Moonlace before she leaves.

When Percy shows up, she’s doing a bit better due to visits from Hermes. (They traded drugs) When she finds the strange child half-dead on her island, she cleans him up and stays with him until he wakes up, and heals him for some time.

She ends up trauma-dumping to telling Percy about her past. How she had been imprisoned on Ogygia for supporting her father, Atlas, in the Titanomachy, and could never leave. He asks her about Odysseus, and she tells him how she hurt him in many ways and could only beg for forgiveness. In the end, once Percy is fully healed, she sends him off with Moonlace.

When Leo shows up, all of the above happens again, but she opens up more. She tells him about how she had been the ‘weak link’ among her sisters (Pleiades) and when the rest became a constellation, she was imprisoned on Ogygia. They also had similar interests, with Calypso enjoying designing things similar to what Leo builds. (There are many small mechanical-magic animals on Ogygia) Leo, relating to their shared belief of being the weak link (neither of them actually were) vows to help her escape. She gives him Moonlace as a parting gift just like the others.

It is important to note that her interactions with Percy and Leo are PURELY PLATONIC. She’s traumatized and bonded with the first beings she saw who weren’t her dealer

After Leo frees her and they do some adventuring, she goes of on her own, and blesses Leo. (Maybe she joins the hunters, or works for Iris. Who knows.)

She never curses Annabeth since she doesn’t have a crush on Percy so all is well.

…I just made Zoe Nightshade in a different font. Gods dammit Rick.

Ok...so um I actually made a rewrite story of Disney Wish.

I love the movie! But I want to make a rewrite of it

But there's a problem I had made 3 alternative rewrites actually. So here's the difference, and a few changers in my 3 rewrites of Disney Wish.

1. Is about Asha's Family

1th one of my rewrites is that Asha is adopted by Queen Amaya, and King Magnifico. She doesn't know what happened to her parents. Until she and Starboy descover the Truth

Or in My 2nd one Asha has Family like the original movie, except she has magical power. She has the power to talk to the Stars, the people doesn't know about this, except her family knows.

Or in my 3rd rewrite which it's like the original movie, she has a family, she's the King apprentice, she knows the truth, except she met Starboy. And few changes

2. I put Starboy in my 3 Rewrites, and Asha's friends would be the same

3. The ending of it, Well ...

[SPOILERS ALERT!]

you know King Magnifico is the Magic mirror from Show White, then Queen Amaya if she is evil, what should she turned? Well I think she would be the evil queen from Snow White. In my rewrites.

And quick notes:

Ok, and I think I heard that in the original concept that King and Queen of Rosas were originally gonna be a villian couple, but they scarp that.

And I decided that I should put the villian couple in my rewrites. I mean think about Starboy and Asha vs Magnifico and Amaya BOOM! THAT WOULD BE AWESOME!!!

HERO COUPLE VS VILLIAN COUPLE

nice art 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

I do not think Game Toons is coming for you But if You said that Frownyfox Belonging to you,

they will Chase you For that reason

If you just said: the Character of Frownyfox Belonging to Game Toons

mentioned every drawing that Frownyfox Belonging to Game Toonsin

And you will be fine

I think Game Toons don't mind fan art & fan stories

Every time you draw or write something about Frownyfox Just mention the original owners of the character

Here he is! My remade version of Frownyfox!

I only changed his name cause I wanted there to be more to him than being sad

Plus I didn't wanna risk game toons coming for me, not that I think they would

I personally think the sinners losing their memories would be really interesting if they went in the direction of: In order to be redeemed, you have to make up for your sins. So the show would be about these clueless sinners desperately trying to remember and find out what sins they had committed in order to redeem themselves. Of course, there would be sinners who don't care to be redeemed since they realized they could gain power in hell. Those sinners would become overlords.

Maybe originally, all sinners were supposed to be redeemed, but over time, that concept was lost, and sinners started forming a society in hell, which was originally more of a void like place. Eventually, the sinners start over crowding this space that wasn't made to permanently hold so many people, causing the extermination.

Charlie is desperate for a way to stop the extermination, and she somehow finds out about the original intention of redemption, thus kickstarting the events of the story. This would also make it clear that Charlie knows sinners can be redeemed so that her idea doesn't seem as out of nowhere.

The story would be reminiscent of that game, the last campfire. But instead of the embers being scared to move on, it would be sinners that are too lazy to put in the work or that are content with staying in hell.

Obviously, this would change a lot of things about the story, and there are still a lot of details to smooth out, but I think it could be really interesting. This was a lot longer than I intended, whoops.

(Side note, this would also give an explanation for why none of the sinners act like they are from their time period. It is a pet peeve of mine about the show, along with Angel Dust's stupid boots shorts istg!)

Judaism doesn't care too much about afterlife. Bad people of course gonna get tortured but they won't be tortured forever eventually they gonna reunited in the same afterlife. In christian theology people memory are being wiped out when they reach afterlife. Hazbin hotel should gone with that

It's cool concept. Well if the show still was about redeeming sinners than it would ruin the whole point of the show, but if they choose that Charlie was redeeming imps it would. Plus redeeming imps makes so much sense.

Hazbin Hotel - Thoughts and Rewrite

Having seen the first four episodes of Hazbin Hotel, and having been casually following the Hellaverse since the pilot (I have watched the shows but not consumed any outside material) - I have had a lot of thoughts about the storytelling of Hazbin Hotel so far. In discussing my thoughts and feelings with @ekholocationn I ended up having some ideas on how I would handle the overall arc and plot of the show to make for a tighter narrative and address some of the flaws I found with the work.

This is very much a broad strokes kind of rewrite at this point, and trying to stay relatively true to what has been presented to us so far - it mostly involves shuffling things around and reorganising/refocusing the plot.

The main complaint with the plot of the show is that the Heaven plotline feels rushed and the cards are being played too soon, what feels like it should be a twist is laid bare in the first episode and furthermore it undermines the very purpose of the Hotel and Charlie's plan. Heaven as not merely an antagonistic, but an actively villainous force, feels like it's come too soon - and the way it's being explored isn't really satisfying. Camilla's reluctance to fight is difficult to justify, where Velvette, who is arguably framed as a villain, seems to be onto something and correct.

Speaking of Velvette however, her and the Vee's are what I feel are the shows strongest aspect at this point. These are villains that have incredibly strong personality and presence, and moreso, personal connections and investment to the cast at the hotel. Vox and Velvette's songs are some of my favourites, and Valentino is shown to be a serious threat to Angel and his potential for redemption.

This in mind, in my rewrite of the show, Season 1 of Hazbin Hotel would cast the Vee's as the primary antagonists to the hotel, and leave the angel's in heaven and their villainy as a mystery and twist reveal for later in the show.

Charlie has no reason to believe her plan won't work, in fact, she has a powerful Overlord as a benefactor - who while he seems to be a little disparaging, is still putting resources into her project. She is doing what she can to try and rehabilitate these sinners, however, the Vee's want to see this project fail and become active threats to the Hotel. Vox, because of his rivalry with Alastor, and Valentino because he wants to keep control of angel. The primary tension is the push and pull between Charlie as a force of redemption and light, and the Vee's as a representation of temptation, vice and hell's worst qualities trying to keep the sinners down. Charlie does not meet with Adam and the angels in Episode 1, rather, she is seen to be optomistic and hopeful, and Heaven is kept as this guarded mystery and protectors of order and goodness.

What about Velvette the other Overlords, and the angels though? I greatly enjoyed Respectless, and I don't want to snub Velvette, who is clearly a powerful villain in her own right. I don't want to completely erase the plot of the exterminated angel and Heaven's violence from the show. I would keep the scene of the Overlords meeting, and Velvette revealing the angel's severed head, however I would make a few tweaks. Firstly, this would be the first time we find out about the fact that an angel was killed - we are just as shocked as the other Overlords. Secondly, the Hazbin Hotel would be more of a point of discussion, and we would get a more overarching conflict between the Hotel and the Vees regarding what to do about the problem of Angel Extermination. Do we attempt to redeem sinners? Or do we just kill the Angels? I think for the purpose of this plot, the revelation that Heaven is moving up its extermination would coincide with the meeting of the Overlords, really being a trigger for it, and this episode would act as a midpoint - raising the stakes and introducing the broader conflict after a few episodes settling into the attempts fo the Hotel to redeem sinners and the Vee's attempts to intervene.

In this story rather than being the way the show opens, Charlie meeting with the angels would instead be a sort of climactic moment - and the revelation that Adam is a jerk and Heaven has no intention of letting sinners rise but instead wants to exterminate them would be a sort of Darkest Hour moment for Charlie. Her plan has failed, the Vee's are gaining more support... This way, there's been some build up, and the twist feels more like a twist - and it also feels like more of a gut-wrenching betrayal because both us and Charlie by this point would have investment in her plan and a hope that it might actually work.

I want to see how the show handles it's ending before I fully flesh out this rewrite, but for now this is the sort of broad strokes as to how I would approach structuring Hazbin Hotel if I were to rework it. I may or may not expand on these thoughts later when there is more material to work with! This post also does not touch on more nuanced topics such as the shows handling of sensitive issues and character arcs, it is more of a broad strokes analysis and retooling.

I thought it might be fun to share my thoughts and I hope people enjoy them! I would love to hear other peoples thoughts on this as well :)

Thinking again about the Eternals and how bad they fumbled that potential. Because you have an Oscar winning director, who ensures breathtaking cinematography, solid performances from capable and exciting actors, with set pieces and choreography that is honesty very good.

And you fuck it up with the script.

It’s the same issue we had with Batman v Superman: there’s 3 good movies fighting for space in 1 film.

Firstly you could focus on relationships, exploring the found family/ageless guardians/eternal love story route with the ‘urgent problem’ just being a more powerful or capable version of the Deviants. From Friends, to The Umbrella Academy, via The Avengers, Avatar the Last Airbender, Big Hero 6 - we love a found family trope, especially if they’ve been brought (back)together to save the world. Ultimately the other Eternals are the only beings on the planet who can truly understand and empathise with each other so let’s explore and show that bond. Tell their story across the ages of the Earth with proper time spent to flesh out these conflicts and moments which define the group as a whole and how they individually relate to one another.

Tell the eternal love story of Sersi and Icarus, but consider the view of the brilliant Only Lovers Left Alive: Tom Hiddleston and Tilda Swindon convincingly portray an ageless love, unconcerned with immediate worries. They are currently living apart but both know that eventually they will make their way back to one another, and they are in constant contact across the globe. Sersi and Icarus could be that: they have been/are/will be together but as they measure life by millions of years living separately for a couple of decades is nothing. They will be drawn back together again and in their hearts only the other can truly know and love them for all that they are. Explore this while they fight for the planet they both have come to love.

Or consider the less brilliant but arguably more entertaining eternal love in Hitchcock: Charlize Theron and Will Smith are thousands of years old and have been driven apart by circumstance but now Charlize loves another man and wants to spend his moral lifespan with him. Both acknowledge that it’s inevitable they will be together again as some point in the future but for the next 60ish years they will live apart so she can experience that love. Maybe in the time they’ve been apart Sersi has come to love another and now that war has brought Icarus back into her life and they have to fight together their different assumptions are being tested; Icarus assumed they would fall back into their love, while Sersi wants another 60 years with her mortal lover. All to the backdrop of fighting to wipe out The Deviants forever and be released from their duty.

Secondly you could tell the story of soldiers betrayed by their general and commander, using the same plot from the actual movie. The Eternals are foot soldiers stationed to defend the human population and have devoted their lives to their growth and safety. They’ve even stood aside when other threats revealed themselves (the MCU up to this point) because their mission was Celestially Ordained and to deviate from it would compromise their purpose. To realise that devotion was twisted and they must now stand aside and allow those they spent their lives protecting to die horribly would be traumatic; explore and tell that story. Again we love an underdog discovering they have been lied to or used and turning on their previous corrupt commander; Mission Impossible, Gladiator, all the Bourne movies. We *like* the story of cogs in the machine realising they have been used and standing up for their principals. Have them discover this news earlier and the movie then deals with their decision to accept their assigned role or rebel against their commander. Add Athena’s PTSD and past memory revelations to bring home the stakes of their choice, with a ticking clock counting down to ‘emergence’, and you’ve got a real tragedy brewing,

Furthermore, weave in the power struggle between Sersi and Icarus regarding who will be leading them with Ajax dead. Icarus is the loud and commanding ‘leader” type stepping forward to assume command, but Sersi is the reassuring rock for the team who each member finds themself turning to for advice, guidance, or to ask what she wants to do next with the expectation they will follow her. Or Ajax isn’t dead here but Icarus has fallen in line as her loyal lieutenant, assuming the rest would follow his lead. Instead of the eternal love story being the focus it’s instead a clashing of ideologies and personalities; upon learning of the betrayal and their assumed role Icarus and Sersi react very differently, showcasing what kind of leader they would be. The team being forced to fight one another as they also split along lines of ‘acceptable collateral’ allows for personal stakes and drama for the audience as well; we’ve spent the movie learning about this family and now they’re being forced to destroy one another…? In the words (and voice) of Benoit Blanc ‘it compels me’.

Finally, you could tell the mystery of an unknown threat present on the planet who takes out Ajax without warning or explanation. The team must gather or be gathered to solve the whodunnit, assuming Deviant involvement despite flimsy and unconvincing evidence, and the shared mystery brings the group together once more, forcing them to confront buried history and historic disputes while they plan an attack on the remaining clusters of Deviants. The Umbrella Academy S1 followed similar lines but you’ve got a list of movies that also circle this plot: R.E.D, The A Team, Watchmen. The revelation of betrayal from within doesn’t need to go hand in hand with the Celestials betrayal plot , as long as Icarus has another reason for turning on the team.

This plot could dive more into the tensions and strain of their posting to Earth; they’ve had different opinions on how problems with humans should be solved, leading to fall outs and separations. Sometimes one or other of them has ‘called it wrong’ and another has had to come bail them out of a situation they created. But what unites them was a shared purpose and assumption that they would what’s have one another. Losing that surety is scary and forces character exploration.

All of these ideas were present in the actual movie, but were fighting for screen time to do their plot lines justice. The Eternals was such an interesting concept and honestly was executed well in so many regards. But trying to tell all these tales, while also encompassing the breadth of time and circumstance they encompass, and allow for personality and individuality in each team member to be showcased… that movie is bursting at the seams and the poorer for it.

Anotha rewrite because I really like her and she deserves a bigger role in the show

Random hazbin ladies I redesigned for fun!

I’m so exited to see mimzy and katie in action, but one thing that has always confused me is how some sinners are animal themed, and others are just humans with weird features. I think it’s another missed opportunity, hell could’ve been full of silly edgy fursonas

I don’t really mind crymini’s design that much so I just made her more hyena like

As for villa, we know pretty much nothing about her in hazbin canon so I made her the hotel’s hellhound security. Here r some outfit concepts I liked for her ⬆️

Heart Of A Villain: Chapter 1

Ben Ben was anxious about the bombshell he was about to drop on his parents. And really, it wasn’t just his parents, it was all of Auradon. He was restraining himself from fidgeting when his parents entered the room. 

“Look at our grown up son. He’s going to be a king at 16! The only good decision I made before entering my forties was marrying your mother.” Adam addressed the last part to the boy himself.

“I hope to make you proud, and maybe my first proclamation will start the process.”

“And what exactly is your first proclamation?” His mother, Belle, sent a questioning look in his direction.

“I have decided to bring over four children from the Isle,” he said, holding up his hand to prevent interruption, “The children of Jafar, Evil Queen, Cruella De Vil and, and..Maleficent.” A simultaneous gasp fell from the lips of his parents.

“MALEFICENT? Son, she’s the worst villain in the land. I can not and I will not stand by while her child causes havoc all over our kingdom. We promised our citizens a peaceful life, a life in which they can rebuild what they have lost at the hands of the villains. Letting even their children into our kingdom will destroy everything we’ve worked for.”

“Isn’t the Isle also a part of our kingdom? The villains might have harmed us, but their children haven’t. They deserve to have a chance at living a normal life, a comfortable one, the life we have been living for so long.” The young Prince argued back, and realised, that no matter what his parents, or even the rest of Auradon said, he wouldn’t back down.

“Do you realise the extent of the impact the project would have on our kingdom? You aren’t old enough to understand the politics of running a kingdom. A king can’t do whatever he wants to, just because he wants to. A king has to do whatever the people will be pleased by, he has to cater to their needs, not his own.”

“What our kingdom, Dad, needs is to realise that they can’t just make people outcasts because of their heritage. Those kids didn’t get to choose their parents, and it isn’t their fault that they ended up with villains as family members. Why should they be made pariahs because of something they couldn’t control? It isn’t just, and aren’t we, as heroes, supposed to be the deliverers of justice? If we aren’t doing our job, we shouldn’t even be considered as heroes.”

“If you want to do this and still have their faith remain in you, you can’t leave any room for mistakes, Ben. Some of our people have really suffered at the hands of these kids’ parents, and even though they’ve started to heal, they won’t just forget and agree to start afresh with the children.”, Belle finally spoke up, pausing for a moment before continuing. “Remember, that you need to assure the safety of not just the citizens, but the children as well. Remember, that you can’t show mercy to anyone breaking the law, no matter their excuse. Remember, that you will be the King of Auradon, and that your actions and words should be befitting to one that is just and caring to all of his subjects.”

“I will, Mom. I promise that I will remember.”