Blue Speedo - Tumblr Posts
@hamidseydi69
Hamid Seydi
Brad still didn't see the bathroom. Where was he supposed to pee? Climate change didn't move that quickly did it? Chris JUST pointed this way.
Hocus POTUS!
Make Presidents Day Gay Again!!!
XOXO Brad and Chris
Brad knew he was pretty. No news there.
âŠbut was he AI pretty?
He didnât feel real real. While there, Brad didnât know how to feel real real in the first place. Did anyone know?
In the spirit of keeping it real Bradâs boyfriend Chris answered with a stark âNo.â Chris then went on to explain not a single soul had a clue as to why we were all on this tiny planet hurtling through interstellar space at ungodly speeds.
After three seconds of pouted silence, Brad demanded to know once again if he was not pretty but AI pretty.
Chris said Brad was âas plastic as they comeâ not after pointing out plastic was as real as anything else. âYou want to get real real Brad? Just look at our oceans. Even sea salt was loaded with microplastics now. Nothing out of the ocean was safe. It was pink Himalayan or bust.â
Before Chris could go any further, Brad announced that he decided heâd ask their friend Becky when she got back from the taco stand. She was straight so could hypothetically give a straight answer. It wasnât ideal but his boyfriendâs roundabout just wasnât cutting it.
Brad then paused to look around. âWhere was Becky anyway?
Chris replied, âReally Brad? Really?!?â
Thatâs when Becky sauntered up from behind Chris with a basket of fresh steamy tacos. She asked the boys for the last time if they were really down for eating all this given they were both out.
It was quite a spread and the meat had the same consistency as cottage cheese but it wasnât Taco Bell nor its knock off Taco Bueno. It was some local man from Pennsylvania who made them. His name was Hanz Bergenstein. That stuck out to Becky for some reason.
Brad and Chris were very quick to respond. They were not up or down with the taco scene. Becky thought this might be the case.
Pulling her sunglasses down to the tip of her nose so she could make eye contact with Brad and Chris, Becky mentioned it was a good thing it was a Saturday. There was no way theyâd be sitting next to a group of stuntmen from the Monster Truck Show tomorrow. It was one night only and always on a Sunday, Sunday, Sunday.
No one knew why the day of the show needed to be repeated three times when it actually occurred in the evening but thatâs what presented itself. The Monster Truck Show never started before 5-5:30pm so the organizers wouldnât be inclined to extend the truck rally and inadvertently cause a mass suffocation in an unsuspecting domed stadium.
As it was, everyone would get light headed just one hour in. The show of course was without a story line and absolutely terrible, but the fumes more than made up for it. Mix in the local beer, busty girls as well as some good olâ fashioned Red Bull, and letâs be honest. It really didnât matter what was going on. Thatâs a good time despite any controversy!
To that, Becky asked Brad and Chris if 5pm was technically still daytime. Brad pointed out it was a slightly delicate yes and no situation that included the whole daylight savings mess. That seemed like a lot to him for a casual day at the pool.
Chris agreed and then threw in a memo stating that spring forward/fall back thing just needed to die already. Becky said it was one of many horrifying things that would die naturally with the Boomers as they finally made their way out to which Brad and Chris replied a nearly automated âHere. Here.â
With that, the controversy tabled itself for another time. Becky then announced she needed to take advantage of the situation so she could get the stuntmen to take advantage of her. Flipping her hair in a tizzy Becky then spun a perfect 180 to showcase her taco basket to the heterosexuals. The three men let out a faint gasp.
Becky was real real real and felt real real real too. Before fully launching herself gaily forward into the world of straights, she paused to give Brad an answer to a question he had yet to ask of her.
âBrad, youâre not AI pretty. Youâre REAL pretty! P.S. youâre REAL pretty too Chris.â
Awe! Becky was the real real deal!!!
And just like that, Becky was off like like her swimsuit in 45 minutes. It would take Brad and Chris a good ten to get theirs off mostly because both felt slightly bloated from smelling the tacos. It took four of those minutes just to realize the taco stand was only ten feet away. Madonna saved the world in that amount of time.
Obviously, tacos were evil.
What Brad and Chris needed was a tall cool glass or two of cucumber water. To Brad and Chrisâ delight they gulped down three that day. Why donât we say it was a vurrrry hot afternoon to every degree and leave it at that.
Mmmmm⊠cucumber.
Brad looooved volunteering as candy stripper at Cedars-Sinai!
Wait a second. Was his butt hot or chili?
Oh. Brad could tell this could get real sticky real fast like his boyfriend Chrisâ homemade flapjacks. What Brad needed to do was to get a reading from him before his hand got stuck.
Click!
Well, it was a good thing the elevator was headed to the first floor. The ER would know how to unstuck him.
Chris wanted the world to know America still had it. What âitâ was he wasnât sure, but it couldnât be too hard to find. He was wearing vurrrry little and what he did have on was vurrrry tight.