Aspd Safe - Tumblr Posts

God I feel empty.......

One day my hateful heart will find rest. The child in me will find love and safety and the adult that i am will find hope.

But until then I will struggle and fight for my place.

If you’re a stereotypically “good” person because of being abused then that’s great

If you’re a stereotypically “bad” person because of being abused then that’s great

Your response to trauma is valid, your response to abuse is valid and you don’t owe it to anyone to be inspirational.

To want someone to be obsessed or very vocal and possessive over you.

But feeling no one would ever be that way towards you because no one interacts with you and you don't interact with anyone either.

My family talk about drinking special punch so we all go together.

But they don't know I would prefer not too go out with them.

I'd rather go out alone or with strangers instead bcz fk my family they aren't worth ending crap with let a lone life.

Popping in for a sec to vent because it's 6 am n I keep having flashbacks and thoughts.

LONG RANT/VENT AHEAD!!!!

My first relationship screwed me up more than I thought, id try to confide in him about my trauma n things but he down played mine and practically said his was worse...

So without fully realizing I constantly felt the need this urge to defend my cpstd with anyone even family.

I never feel validated for what I've been through and I have been through a lot...

From the age of 16-18 I'd let anyone take advantage of me, use me I did not care about myself I still don't really but it was worse back then..

The things I let myself go through the things I'd do to myself I regret it I'm ashamed of myself for it...

I was in such a dark place and no one cared no one.

I did not protect myself from anyone I'd let guys just do whatever they wanted to me...

Now realizing the gravity of what happened to me n what I did to myself I'm glad I'm somewhat out of being that person that I was..

But it still haunts me the memories haunt me the people around me disgust me because they just let it happen no one stopped to help me to give me support or love now I have to that to myself which is incredibly hard to do..

I constantly downplay my own emotions and stuff I can't trust anyone or let anyone completely in because of all this crap weighing in on me n I think people are full of shit when they say they care about me..

Because most of the time they are no one sticks around people talk to me for a while then drop me n don't talk to me anymore.

I honestly feel validated by it like yeah leave just get away from me already I don't need you I don't need anyone.

But I crave connection only to find it then destroy it eventually.

I can't keep up with talking to people texting is hard n draining so I can tend to be a dry texter or an awkward one honestly I don't know what kind of texter I am to people but eh...

This is a long babble so I'm going to just leave this now.

YOU ARE VALID YOUR TRAUMA IS VALID DONT LET ANYONE TELL YOU IT ISNT TRAUMA IS TRAUMA!!!!!!!!!

goodnight or good morning to anyone who reads this I'm going to go to try to sleep now...

Man I'm fxcked up...

I'm trying attempting to be here for someone who's hurting

N crying but it's harder than I thought.

For someone with no sympathy & empathy doing this is exhausting and extremely hard.

I can't take all the crying seriously.

I'm trying my best to not laugh a awkward laugh....

I'd never want to go back to being a child I encountered way too much back then,

Lived through too much trauma I don't want to encounter it again.

I'm so touch starved that if someone touched me I'll either spontaneously combust or get aggressive.

I'm in one of my moods again.

Everything is fucking annoying, some posts I see on here piss me off a lil...

Everything is annoying me rn

I've always known I don't like talking to other people outside of my family (even them too)

Someone that lives in the same area as me my mom and sister was talking with us a lot today n took a lot of interest in me for some unforsaken reason..

I don't like it truthfully I don't, let me be invisible please don't acknowledge me leave me alone.

Their are reasons I keep to myself n have no friends irl but online friends I wouldn't mind because it's stressful but less stressful at the same time.

I really like getting reactions out of people idrc what the reaction is be it scared, worried,shock,disgust etc. I just like it since i don't feel a lot, too see how people react.

My little sister is a bit h a stupid one at that

She's so fucking annoying she ain't sh t she tries to act like me be like me and it infuriates me she can fuk off

Trying to act like a fighter or violent person pssh fucking hilarious she's a pussy if she actually got into a fight she'd piss herself scared

I've fought since I was a child my mom literally had to put a lock on her bedroom door (not proud /just for reference)

I've fought a grown ass man when I was just a teen and won the fight granted I spent

a whole whopping month in juvenile jail but whatever (my fault)

I'd at this point i'd love to fight her and put her in her rightful place (bloody n on the ground)

I've done it with one sister I'll do it again

If she doesn't stop disrespecting our mother and being a cvnt I will definitely do so gladly

People with psychotic disorders are neurodivergent too.

People with personality disorders are neurodivergent too.

People with substance abuse disorders are neurodivergent too.

People with tic disorders are neurodivergent too.

People with bipolar disorder are neurodivergent too.

People with dissociative disorders are neurodivergent too.

Neurodivergence isn’t just ADHD, autism, anxiety, and depression. (Plus those last two also get left out sometimes!) Neurodivergence is anything that affects your brain.

“Neurodivergent people hate loud noises” is actually just as valid as a statement as “neurodivergent people have delusions,” “neurodivergent people have tics,” or even “neurodivergent people have low empathy.”

sucks when a villain webtoon character is mentally ill coded and the hivemind says they should get cancer and kill themself for not being the protagonist

Y’all in my psychology class we are talking about mental disorders this week. Tell me why my teacher showed a celebrity example of each disorder, and for NPD she showed HITLER. For aspd she showed Marilyn Manson! The rest was like Selena Gomez and shit. Is that really the best example of NpD and aspd? She said on Wednesday we will talk more about NPD.

Should I tell the class I have NPD? I don’t know what to say I want to defend myself but I suck at debates. Any advice?

I want to give pwNPD and BPD, HPD, ASPD all the love. virtual hugs. you guys deserve it. every day you're bombarded with ppl who would rather abuse you and use you as a scapegoat for the entire world's problems than actually solve any problems. the shit people say about you on the daily is horrifying. may you find the strength to keep going in spite of it.

shout out to my cluster b followers

y'all are seen, loved and wanted here, especially if you're trying to recover <3

People with Cluster B Disorders. I am sorry about the world. People with Psychotic Disorders. I am sorry about the world. People with OCD. I am sorry about the world.

So many people say they're allies, sometimes even specifically to you, but oftentimes they're lying. They refuse to accommodate on even the most basic level and then treat you like a monster. It's fucked up. It's not your fault. You are not uniquely evil or fucked up. They're just Ableist, and you're just naturally struggling in a world that makes itself completely hostile to you.

something that has helped me disconnect from codependancy is realizing that married couples arent always together. they live together and spent time together but a lot of the time they just arent together but they still love eachother. they dont need to sleep in the same bed they dont need to constantly show eachother affection they can just coexist and still love eachother unconditionally. love isnt sacrificing every moment for someone, its having your life made better by their existence while you live

I want to express my feelings violently

I want to express my feelings violently

I want to express my feelings violently

I want to express my feelings violently

I want to express my feelings violently

I want to express my feelings violently

I wANT TO EXPRESS MY FEELINGS VIOLENTLY BUT I CARE SO MUCH ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE THINK THAT I SUPPRESS ANY AND ALL STRESS I FEEL THEN TAKE IT OUT ON MYSELF LATER