12 Am Thoughts - Tumblr Posts

Stop telling me what to think

Oh you like this ship or fan theory?

WELL I DON'T, I HATE IT. I FIND IT INSULTINGLY OUT OF CHARACTER, GROSS, UNLIKELY, UNBELIEVABLE, A TERRIBLE MISUNDERSTANDING OF THE ORIGINAL WORK, AND UNWHOLESOME.

Now obviously I'm not going to say that about any ships (minus one, nothing will ever stop me from bashing it) cause it's kinda rude, and you're allowed your opinion, but so am I. So everytime I see a post talking about why you shouldn't hate ships, just no, I'm allowed to hate what I want when I want.

And again, not gonna do anything with that hate besides grumble and say to myself why I think it's dumb in my head, but still. You shouldn't tell people they're not allowed to hate ships, coming from someone who is quite positive that the ships I support are hated by someome.

Anyways, not sure what I even typed cause I'm tired, but yeah.

Also, what ship do I have no problem being open about?

Legends of Zelda: Twilight Princess, Link and Midna

I know everyone loves that ship, but Link in that game is 17, and to put it simply Midna is NOT. Age is not exact but placing her at around 25-33

And just, no, that's just no. And because it's no it's unwholesome, and what's the point of an unwholesome ship, thus I hate it.

You're at the top of the emotional world, you love and trust your friends completely, and then they say something that shakes you up to the point you can't even talk about it

They wouldn't do that to you?

Of course not, they care about you, that's so crazy to ever think such a thing

But they'd do it someone, and they don't see it as wrong, cause if they saw it as wrong they wouldn't have told you

God I'm going to be sick

Random midnight thoughts

In all of media. No. In all of media, minus The Source(tm), I have two favorite interpretations of the devil. And they're such polar opposites it's hilarious personally, so I thought I'd share with you fun people on Tumblr

First the White Entity from Faith: The Unholy Trinity

Who shows up at Johns weakest moment, as he calls for God, for anyone to save him, and offers him safety but at a price. Literally the only time this guy shows up, yet somehow in a game filled with so much really quite disturbing(that in a 3d game it would be too much at times) stuff, a minute of this angels time is one of the most chilling parts.

And then there's THIS GUY from Hazbin Hotel

*the one in white in case of any confusion*

He's nothing like the White Entity in Faith, he's a fun goofy guy with depression that loves ducks. And while I might not have seen the show, just completions of the characters I like, I kinda enjoy that. So he is like right below in the ranking and only barely.

Fuck, I got introduced to a series that isn't fished and now I have to wait who knows how long

Curse you Perry the platypus Jo

The sound I hear is pain

It breaks the will to listen

It hurts the body willing

It denies the hardship

Keeps it hidden

Yet without the throbbing of soul inside

Would I even feel a gain?

Or would my world be filled with words

Would the voices only grow

Would I come accept their less

Within the only home

Should my conscious choose and name them

Then all the sound I hear will only pain

I told my Dad about the method of murder Phoyx would use against the angels, as I thought it an interesting but needing further explanation method of killing a primordial that exists out of time(Phoyx too is a primordial, one of the big four, yet not strong enough to kill the weakest of primordials)

Simple version, creatures out of time don't spend energy, when introduced to time they suddenly need to spend the energy for every action they've ever made over an infinite lifetime, killing them instantly

His response "oh, so we're going to Dorian Gray then to death"

The point of this is don't feel bad when you notice someone has a similar idea to your work, it doesn't mean you can't do it, it just means you're both good at coming up with things

I know I've talked about this before, but today as I'm very tired, I've decided to list some interesting fun facts about H. H. Holmes

And these aren't just any kind of fun facts

These are corrections of things people commonly believe that aren't write

H. H. Holmes did not kill in the hundreds, that statistic comes from a, if I remember correctly, pulp fiction book published in the 1940's. While it's true we don't have an exact victim list, so it's technically possible he did kill that many, Holmes himself only every admitted to killing twenty something people (a number that he confessed to killing weren't even dead), and the cops only him on like nine.

H. H. Holmes was not a serial killer, as a to be a serial killer your victims must be random. The people Holmes is believed to have killed were all people getting to close to his more nefarious doings, or people causing too much trouble for him.

H. H. Holmes was not in any way particularly smart, in fact I'd say he's an idiot. He was constant in trouble with courts, only barely graduated, conned like a fool, and couldn't stop himself from digging a bigger and bigger hole for himself. The only reason he got away with things because people were negligent or complacent or just too kind.

H. H. Holmes did in fact dig up bodies, but this wasn't actually that weird. Not really a disapproval, just adding some context cause a lot of people use that as proof of how evil or sick he was, when it's actually one of the more normal things about him. Holmes had a great interest in medical practice and medicine, and while he was not in any way especially good at it, more getting into it for his conns, it was common practice of the time for doctors and people studying to be a doctor to grave rob. It was how you learned about the human body. Holmes was no different in that regard then many other doctors of the time, even his friend and mentor, who's name escapes me.

And to wrap it up cause I'm quite tired, H. H. Holmes, as far as we know, did not suffer from antisocial personality disorder (he wasn't a psychopath). A lot of people who don't know much about the subject seem to think he does, and maybe I'm not one to disprove them cause at the moment I've only taken a Psy 101 class, but from my understanding it just isn't true. I find it incredibly sad and wrong the way ASPD is just attached to killers by mass community without any thought. You don't need to call Homes a psychopath cause you don't like him and he was evil. You can just call him a bastard and murderous conman

sorry for any things I may have gotten wrong about H. H. Holmes or ASPD, it's been awhile sense I've learned about ether

also one more fun fact, his real name was Herman Mudgett

if you'd like to know more about Mudgett, shoot me an ask, I'll fill you in on how I learned about him(hint, for part of it you need a library card)

I'm like a deer

I hear something I shouldn't be hearing at night, I panic and run

Except, sadly, I'm not a deer, so I just get to sit in bed and ask myself if that noise was an animal or a person

And it better be an animal

There is no good reason to hear a person at midnight, when you live in the middle of nowhere

"Normalize making fanfiction for (interest medium)".

I'm tryingg

I can't freaking draw

And I'm tired

But more importantly everything I draw just looks bad. And just like my writing, I never finish anything. It just wilters away in phone storage

I'm going to sleep

I'm really trying when I can

You ever wish you could be someone else?

And what I mean by that is so you ever wish you could think something else?

And what I mean by that is do you ever wish you didn't doubt your thoughts?

Like

I wanted to make a post talking about unhelpful language in fighting for reform, how using broad strokes to get your point more often then not just alienates people who were already on your side and fighting for reform but now see you've looped them in with a group of assholes

But then I start thinking

Caleb, are you saying that because that's what you think, or because you identify with the people these broad strokes are talking about and are terrified you are just like the assholes because if you're an asshole your best friend will leave you?

I think no, but that's also what I would think if I were an asshole because assholes are very hypocritical and self righteous when it comes to other people

So because I'm me it's gone to a post about not using alienating language to questioning my identity, my friendship, and whether or not I'm a good person

Does that happen to anyone else or am I just dumb?

It's probably just cause they're the same actor, but Castor feels like he could have just been Aziraphale if he lost a bet with Crowley and had to visit The Grid

Or maybe that's just me

Can't sleep cause my room is an inferno so I thought I'd add one more one more thought

If you're a sexist or racist or transphobic or anything, but then say that your discriminatory comments don't count to a friend or whatever, then you're still sexist/racist/transphobic

One, you've isolated someone you supposedly care about to the group they most strongly relate to, nice going

Two, you're effectively saying it's not you, but it is your parents, your siblings, your friends, your best friend, your partner, your favorite teacher, the random person you met at the library yesterday, and ect forever

Nice going there too

The sad realizations that:

One, not all your mutuals have the same opinions as you

Two, a lot of people on the earth have extreme opinions

And three, your mutual is openly sexist to your gender and just didn't know who you were when they followed you

Is very sad

Finding out the IHNMIMS fandom was full of people who wanted to fuck AM was kinda weird

Not weird for the normal reason of AM being AM, though that's still kinda weird.

Weird cause in the short story, video game, graphic novel, and radio drama, AM is without a body. And unlike most out fandoms, a lot(not all but most) of fan art for IHNMIMS sticks to that, drawing AM as a plain and boring computer

So how did people ever decided they wanted to have sex with AM??

Short story idea

Yesterday I found out my own mother doesn't even think I love her half the time because of my autism

And that's pretty shitty news

And the basis of a short story idea

It's called The Warmth of Cold Steel, and it's about a robot that's in love, but can't demonstrate that love do to the nature of their reality. Every heartfelt word rings dull and mechanically. Every inner smile not reflected because they were never built to smile. Ever embrace painful; too tight, jagged, and chilling. No matter what the robot feels the women he's in love with doesn't believe him, can't feel it herself, and runs away

Gonna get started working on it tomorrow, should be interesting

There's something about finding dead channels on YouTube that just makes me so sad

I can't be certain why

Perhaps it's like finding a dream dream. The warm voice of passion smothered by isolation, a following so small it could never support the weight of the journey undertaken

When I find these people, hear them, read their comments, I find myself wishing I was there sooner. Maybe if I were, if more were, they would still be here today. But they're dead, and it's too late to undo it

I think the reason they make me sad is because it makes me think of myself. I don't want to be a YouTuber exactly, but I want to do things, I want to create, and I just don't know for how long I can create

I don't want my dreams to die

This post is in dedication of downsprite, and all others like you

"speak louder"

"you're mumbling"

I'm speaking at my normal volume that I talk in the entire day, and you are always, always about to hear me at

Get better ears jerk

Do you think The Knight, when looking on the statue of its sibling, thought of the Abyss?

How easily it could have held this fate had it climbed faster

I'm not one for Pale King slander, I think it's far more interesting to look upon him as powerless, making the only insane choose he could, instead of as an evil God himself

Yet you have to admit it was an amazingly horrible thing to have happened, snuffing out billions and choosing the sole survival to live a life without feeling, or thought, or voice

Only for the whole plan to come crashing down

For The Hollow Knight did have a thought, it wanted to make it's dad proud

And it's sacrifice meant nothing

It was chained in the air, locked away with The Radiance long enough for Hallownest to enter its final years of death, for nothing

Maybe in that case The Knight, looking back, didn't kind so much being left in the tomb of it's siblings

that's all of course if you think The Knight is also an imperfect vessel like The Hollow Knight. which most players say but not all game characters

A lot of people make fun of or just don't understand people who don't read books. And I get it, I get all the reasons people well read don't get why someone wouldn't read

But I feel the same way about movies and video games too, and I don't see that discussed as much

They've never seen Truman bow and step through that door

Or Andy craw his way from hell

Or John drop the man holding Nakatomi Plaza hostage out a window

Or Bloom come to realize his brother is dead

And they've never felt the chilling screens of Ravenholm

Or the sense of pride following a full binding pantheon

Or fear at your helpless to the system that will set you free

Or the tragedy of a screaming woman stuffed in a machine

I just feel those who she experience games and movies are missing out just as much as those who don't read

Still havnt done kyles route and was going to start today but it just turned 12:00 👌👌

Hi

Hi its 12am and im feeling fluffy and so hete are some peeps who i want to protect with my heart and has made the last 2weeks?? A blast yall also messing up my sleep schedule but love you anyways

You guys have my uwus