Rain Deckersons Essays - Tumblr Posts

Had to write this for class. I like a lot how it turned out, and I can’t still figure out where the hell the inspiration for writing this came from, but I’m glad this was the result.

I hope you enjoy it guys!!!

- Rain Deckerson (Beatriz Aqueveque H.)

Kohaku's real name and it's connection to his identity

Nigihayami Kohakunushi, also known as Kohaku/Kohaku river and/or Haku, is a character from the movie Spirited Away (Studio Ghibli, 2001) who I must admit, he’s pretty much my favorite from the movie (as well as Chihiro who I identify a lot with), and I will speak about him today in a topic that caught my attention: how his name is severely tied to his identity and how Chihiro is the one who, by giving him back his full name also gives him back his true identity as “Nigihayami Kohakunishi (translated to English as "God Of The Swift Amber River” however in the English dub of the movie it is only referred to him as the Kohaku river).

               At the beginning of the movie we get to know this mysterious boy who in a not-so-delicate manner tells Chihiro that she must leave before the sun sets. This boy turns to be Haku, who will later help Chihiro through the whole movie as she gets trapped in the spirit world, with her parents turned into pigs and unable to go back to her realm.

Haku presents himself sometimes as someone a little rude and quite cold, with a harsh behavior towards the other members of the bath house. People paints him as someone one shouldn’t trust even due to his personality and due to him being Yubaba’s henchman. However, it’s only when he’s alone with Chihiro that he shows his true personality as someone caring, who wants to help Chihiro to save her parents and get out of the realm, and cares for her well-being and giving her advice, even protecting her when it’s needed.

A curious thing presented to us since we meet Haku is that he knows Chihiro’s name, claiming to have known her since she was very little, and although he cannot remember his real name anymore, Haku can remember the protagonist’s name, and during the same scene where both of these things are presented he also points out to the girl that she must not forget her real name, otherwise she will be trapped forever under Yubaba’s control and will never be able to leave, just like what happened with him. 

During the movie, Chihiro is aware of how much Haku has helped her and she wants to return the favor to him, helping him when Haku is cursed by the golden seal she stole from Zeniba, not only saving him from dying but also liberating him from Yubaba’s control (although he is still under the contract that indicates he is at her service, he no longer can be used by Yubaba the way she pleases. The only thing tying him to Yubaba now is how he still cannot remember his name).

Chihiro still wants to help him and truly believes he is a good person, as she has seen his true personality and how he truly is. She decides to go give Zeniba her golden seal back and apologize for Haku, knowing he isn’t a greedy thief, he’s just being used by Yubaba. Zeniba understands and forgives, and while the girl stays at the place, she asks Zeniba for advice, commenting on how Haku told her they have known each other since she was very little yet she can’t seem to remember from where does she know him. Zeniba assures her that the memories will come back to her, that once you have met someone you never really forget them. 

Near the end, Haku in his dragon form goes to pick up Chihiro from Zeniba’s house and as they’re both flying together back to the bathhouse, Chihiro focuses and is able to remember where she knows Haku from: when she was little, she dropped a shoe in a river and when she tried to pick it up, she fell into it, saved from drowning by the spirit of that river. The river was the Kohaku river, and Haku’s real name was Nigihayami Kohakunushi, thus, breaking the contract that ties him as Yubaba’s henchman, freeing him.

Now, what’s my point here?

The name “Haku” means white, and in the context of the movie it’s used to represent the lack of an identity, as white is considered the absence of color; Haku when we meet him has forgotten his personality and doesn’t really have a personality of his own inside of the bathhouse, being the personality we see the one he has taken due to how his contract with Yubaba made him be: cold, strict and high-strung, with people reminding Chihiro that he isn’t someone to trust. 

However, he knows Chihiro, who is part of his past and part of who he used to be and can’t truly remember anymore. My personal take on this is that due to this connection he is able to remember her name and somehow remember that they have known each other since she was very little, even if he was not able to remember from where did he know her. Unconsciously, “Haku” -referring here to the personality he takes when he serves as Yubaba’s henchman in the bathhouse- disappears whenever he is alone with Chihiro, and “Kohaku” -the real him, his true identity- comes to the surface only during these moments, even if he doesn’t even realize it.

Chihiro is the key of him being able to recover his real self, who he truly is as she is able to remind him who he was in the past, before he lost his sense of identity.

When Chihiro is able to remember where she and Kohaku met each other and remembers his true name, Haku is able to remember too and is freed from Yubaba’s spell, remembering who he used to be and who he really is, recovering his personality and his true name: he is able to remember that he is the spirit of the Kohaku river and how he met Chihiro too, remembering that he saved her back then.

The name represents a part of his identity, and when he’s under Yubaba’s control he loses the name “Nigihayami Kohakunushi” to take the name “Haku”, losing his real identity in the process, and Chihiro is the one who gives him back his personality and his real self by giving him back his real name.

With this, I conclude my essay.

I hope you enjoyed it! Will bring more like this soon.

- Beatriz Aqueveque H.

This post will now haunt me forever in my nightmares. I’ve been having nightmares about Takofuusen for 3 nights straight. Well, at least it was worth it.

Hope you enjoy!

Yume Nikki and it's unique open-for-interpretation mechanic

Hello everybody! I am here again with a new post, and this time it’s to speak about the unique kind of storytelling of an indie RPG videogame characterized not for a clear story, but rather for having a gameplay and a hidden plot full of secrets and elements left for fan interpretation, with nothing being quite confirmed yet not being denied either, leaving it to be an intriguing game and a suitable space for passionate fans who like to theorize and make interpretations of it without never really getting any confirmations to the mysteries surrounding the game.

And it’s creator is just as mysterious as it’s creation, since we know nothing about them other than they made this game and their “name” (which it’s not even certain to be their actual name and it could be nothing but a simple nickname): Kikiyama. And said game, is Yume Nikki.

SPOILER WARNING.

For anyone who hasn’t played Yume Nikki yet, I highly recommend that you go play it first and then come back to read this essay. If you haven’t played but still wanna read, then that’s your problem bud. Without anything else to say, we may procceed.

CONTENT WARNING. In this essay there will be mentions of heavy topics such as s*xu4l assault, 4b*rti*n, depression, car accidents, death, and others. If you are quite sensitive to these kind of things, I’d suggest not reading this text. If you decide to continue anyways, then read under your own risk. You have already been warned.

Yume Nikki’s title screen. 

What is Yume Nikki?

Yume Nikki is an indie RPG videogame made made back then in 2004 by the Japanese developer Kikiyama, using the game engine RPG Maker 2003. The game contains llittle to no elements of a traditional RPG videogame, and it has been described by some as an example of an early “walking-simulator” since the game it’s mainly focused in the exploration of a dream world via the protagonist, Madotsuki (窓付き, lit. windowed).

Our protagonist is a young girl who is implied to be a hikikomori (someone who lives reclused, isolated from the outside world) given the fact that when you try to get her to walk out of her  room, she will shake her head, showing us she doesn’t want to go outside. Not much can be done while you’re inside in her room, other than go to the balcony and play the minigame NASU in the Famicom device Madotsuki has in her room.

Madotsuki in her room.

We can also get her to go to her bed, to sleep, and here is where the fun begins: we wake up in the dream world, and our objective here is to collect all of the 24 effects which we can find across the realm. As we walk looking for the effects, we will explore this strange, bizarre world inside of Madotsuki’s mind which will makes us ask ourselves more than once: What does all of this mean? We are in Madotsuki’s subconscious, but what is her subconscious trying to tell us? What do these NPCs, these weird scenarios, flashy images, the effects and events, what do all of these are trying to tell us?

We don’t really know what’s going on inside and that’s what has brought us to the point I’m about to cover:

Fan interpretation.

The story of the game isn’t quite clear if you are trying to follow a lineal order in the game: that simply doesn’t exist. As for a background story, while the game clearly doesn’t show a background story or origins, if you pay attention to the dream world and begin connecting the dots you can guess a lot about how Madotsuki’s past was and we can theorize on how she ended up being a hikikomori in the first place.

And here’s where fan interpretation comes and does its work: 

based on what the game gives us and the etymologies and references where every single thing comes from: the fans simply don’t forget about the details that easily.

I will use the case of these 4 images as an example:

Kyuukyuukun in the Stairway, a strange event which occurs when you stab the zippertile in the Number World.

Madotsuki and Masada-sensei, in the spaceship, a special event in-game.

Madotsuki and Mars-san, triggered by the spaceship crash event.

Takofuusen in the White Desert, an event that only happens in one of 3600 chances. If you see it, then consider yourself extremely lucky (or unlucky).

Kyuukyuu-Kun and Madotsuki’s abuse trauma.

The first image shows us an NPC known as Kyuukyuu-kun (キュッキュ君, キュッキュくん, Kyukkyu-kun, named after the Japanese onomatopoeia of the rubbing noise) which is characterized by its peculiar form and its creepy smile. Something characteristic from this figure is that when you enter the room where it is located, you will find him rubbing the railing of a stair. If you use the cat effect on Madotsuki, Kyuukyuu-kun will rub it slower, and if you use the knife effect, it will rub the railing faster.

The thing itself… if you take this to interpretation it turns out to be really disturbing.

These are what we can take as “canon facts” and honestly? There’s not much we can really get if we just pick these facts and don’t analyze it in depth.

Now, here is what we can get if we analyze these facts plus other implicit stuff in-game, via fan interpretation:

Kyuukyuu-kun possesses rather a phallic form, similar to the masculine genitalia, and to enter the Stairway zone you need to enter through an specific zippertile in the number world. This, added to the fact that he possesses a creepy smile and that he seems to rub the railing only when Madotsuki moves, is usually interpreted by fans as Madotsuki having some sort of trauma related to sexual abuse, with this figure being an oneiric representation of Madotsuki’s abuser.

Masada-sensei, Mars-san and the symbolism of a repressed memory of a train accident of someone Madotsuki knew

In the second image, we can appreciate a character standing along with our protagonist, in front of a grand piano, along with a table with two chairs that can be found in the room, and a big window that allows you to see into space. This character, known as Sentimental Komuro Michael Sakamoto Dada-sensei (センチメンタル小室マイケル坂本ダダ先生, or simply Masada, or Seccom Masada)is found when you go down the staircase of hands, walk past the elevator and extinguish the fire at the end of the room, gaining access to the underground world and entering the spaceship where this NPC is located. In game, all we can know is that he makes a robotic noise when you interact with him. If the cat effect is used, he will approach Madotsuki, and when the knife effect is used, he will move away (and when he moves we can play the piano key that he is standing in front of).

Going to the right side, there is a room with a bed in his spaceship where Madotsuki can sleep, and this can trigger an even which is possible in 1 of 6 possibilities: the Mars crash. This happens if Madotsuki sleeps in his bed and after a while when she awakes, the spaceship will have an alarm, as it falls rapidly. When we go back to check on Masada, he will be panicking and the sound he emits is higher-pitched than usual.

                         Poor Masada… 

The game plays a cutscene of the spaceship finally crashing in Mars and here when after exploring for a while, we get to interact with Mars-San: a blue figure with a crying eye.

Mars-san.

Aside from getting it to make a sound when interacted with him, Madotsuki can stab him, making him to change his eye color to green and blue. Stabbing him again will cause his eye color to go back to normal.

                          Mars-san when stabbed.

Again, basing ourselves on only what the canon gives us, there’s not really much to say about, other than the already explained. Now, using the interpretation, there’s a lot to talk about, and basing on what the canon gives us, the fans have come to theorize that Masada-sensei used to be Madotsuki’s piano teacher, who had with her something more than just a teacher-student relationship (which could be hinted by the fact that there’s a bed in Masada’s spaceship and Madotsuki sleeps on it), and while it is unsure what kind of relationship they had (either a platonic, romantic or a sexual relationship), it is assured that Madotsuki cared about him.

Now, the spaceship crash event, Mars-san’s form resembling to a leg and the fact that in order to reach him you have to fall asleep in three different beds (real life bed, one of the dream world’s beds and the spaceship’s bed)would mean Madotsuki would be dreaming inside of a dream which is also inside of another dream. This could mean that the character represents a repressed memory in Madotsuki’s subconscious.

The machinery surrounding Mars-san seems very train-resembling like, and putting all the pieces together, one of the most popular interpretations is that Masada-san had a train accident and Madotsuki was a part of it (directly involved or not, she definitely saw it), and since she cared about Masada, this incident caused her a trauma that went repressed in the depths of her mind (in here, Mars-san is one of Masada’s injured legs after the accident… this is a personal interpretation here lmao sorry), as it was an extremely painful experience for her.

Takofuusen, TRAP Syndrome, and abortion.

Finally for this post, we will go with the last image: Takofuusen  (たこ風船, タコ風船, 凧風船, Octopus Balloon or Kite Balloon), a random event in Yume Nikki named after the character with the same name, which as I stated earlier, it’s the event with the most rare probabilities of happening. If it happens, consider yourself extremely lucky (or unlucky, depends of your perception).

What do we canonically know about Takofuusen? 

Well. Basically nothing.

We know it has a very weird shape, we know it appears randomly in one of 3600 chances, we know it makes some weird sound when it flies across the white desert and that’s it.

                             Come on man… you can’t say to me this doesn’t look creepy. Or disturbing. Or at least weird.

And now, with the star of the show: interpretation.

Takofuusen has been called out for having a shape which has a disturbing resemblance to a case of Twin Reversed Arterial Perfusion syndrome, aka TRAP syndrome, a malformation of monochromic (identical) twins (and the white desert -including Takofuusen itself- is full of NPCs that are characterized for being all monochrome) which curiously only happens in 1 of every 36.000 pregnancies (and Takofuusen event happens in 1 of 3.600 chances, are you connecting the dots yet?) WARNING: DISTURBING IMAGE AHEAD.

Picture of monochromic twins with TRAP syndrome. The resemblance is… scarily insane in my opinion.

So what’s the theory here? The fans speculate that Madotsuki could have been pregnant (which is implied by other elements in the game too) and Takofuusen could either be the representation of her fear of a malformation, or the fact that she was pregnant AND unfortunately the malformation was there, which led her to have an abortion.

It’s also speculated that this could be Madotsuki’s unborn brother/siblings, who due to the (implied) car accident of her parents, the baby developed the malformation and eventually died.

Alright. We have seen the examples. Now, what’s my point here?

Look at how much we get only if we stay in canon. And now look how much lore and story we get if we begin doing interpretation of the game. I think it’s very interesiting how Kikiyama left us to be the ones to do the research without ever getting clear answers from them, because we are the ones who need to get the answers on our own.

I could speak for hours about this topic with more examples, but for now I’ll just leave it there, or it’s gonna be wayyy too long. Plus, I will invite you to make your own interpretations of the game, share them with me even.

With nothing else to say, I conclude this essay.

Thank you for reading this far, I hope you have enjoyed it, and if I get motivated (and don’t get disturbed while writing) I might even make a second part.

Hope you have a good day! See you next time.

- Beatriz Aqueveque Henríquez.

Dear lord what have I done oh my god, did I really write a public apology towards Nagito Komaeda just to get a good grade.

Bye I'm going back to the trash can (aka my home by default) Well, at least I am passing the semester in this class, no? That's all what matters here.

-proceeds to die of cringe-

Rain Carter.

A public apology towards Nagito Komaeda

Well… what can I tell you?

Months ago, if you had told me I was gonna write a public apology towards Nagito saying I was sorry for ever hating him, I would have laughed at you. It just seemed too distant for me to actually get into Danganronpa, and even weirder that I could ever get any interest towards Nagito Komaeda. Hell, being completely honest, I even went as far to claim that I hated him with all my soul, which was not justified at all since I didn’t even have a reason to do so. I just hated him with no reason at all.

Truth is, that after years of insistence and having to get involved with Danganronpa when I wanted to write a character that was supposed to make references to Komaeda, I had to actually go see what Danganronpa was about, and so I did.

I watched the anime, read some character wikis and I currently am watching a no-commentary gameplay of DR2. And turns out I enjoyed it! Not only that, but I came to understand Nagito better, as well as realize how much I relate to him in some ways (to be fair, it sounds crazy but I am quite a person with an insane kind of luck myself) And when I had realized this drastic change in my thoughts, I felt like I had to write this.

YES, I KNOW I AM APOLOGIZING TO AN ANIME CHARACTER, YES I KNOW THIS IS CRINGE, PLEASE DON’T LAUGH AT ME DAMN.

But yes. This also made me realize how most people see Komaeda as the most evil character in DR2, when I don’t think he is, really. He’s not innocent at all, that’s a fact we’re all aware of. But everyone tends to forget the horrible amount of trauma this guy has, and the fact that he did have good intentions in the end. His methods were kind of fucked up though, but once you get to see the full picture, you can’t really justify the things he did, but you can understand his motives and what led him to do it.

Anyways.

In conclusion: Nagito Komaeda, I am so sorry to have ever claimed I hated you. I don’t hate you at all, you’re an amazing character and I cherish you with all my soul (also you need therapy. A lot of therapy). And for the people who got me into Danganronpa: look what you have done guys. Are you happy now? Is this what you wanted? Thank you for introducing me to DR tho, I hate to admit it but I loved it.

Hope you liked this. I sure as heck am cringing rn at this, but oh well.

Beatriz Aqueveque Henríquez