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A Worse Pill to Swallow: The Return of the Jilted Jessiebelle Plot
Jessiebelle kills Dumbledore Meowth! The resurrection ritual will blow your mind!!!1eleven!
Here lies the thrilling conclusion to "A Worse Pill to Swallow."
Part one is here.
Part two is here.
This fic contains: Pokémon/Human romantic relationship; unexplained mpreg/male pregnancy; bizarre anti-abortion overtones; general angst; shaky grasp of the realities of pregnancy and childrearing; possible out-of-character moments for Jessie, James, and Meowth; weepy!James (but can you really blame him, considering what twelve!me did to his life?); dickish!Jessie; generic boyfriend!Meowth; random “Jessiebelle does dark magic” plotline that goes absolutely nowhere; odd ideas about romance; loose understanding of the occult; possibly demonic kitten plotline that goes nowhere; kitten birthing scenes (make it double!); Twerps witness the miracle of Pokébestial childbirth; major character death (that gets undone by the most bullshit of methods); questionable song parody; JAMES EATS A PLACENTA; desecration of grave; ellipses abuse
-O-o-O-
*They all get ready for bed. That night at about 12:30 AM, Meowth is woken up by James shaking him.
James: Meowth! Meowth! I think it's time! Meowth: Breathe and push. (takes James's pants off)
*James starts breathing and pushing. He screams because of the pain.
James: It's not easier the second time! It just hurts more! Meowth: Hold my hand, Jimmy.
*James holds Meowth's hand. His pain increases.
James: (squeezes Meowth's hand) AHHH!
*James's other hand is in a fist.
Meowth: Push, James! James: (crying) I'm trying to!
*Team Twerp is spying on them.
Ash: What the crap?! Brock: This is weird. Misty: ….Maybe we should've camped out in a cave.
*James is pushing as hard as he can. He feels a kitten coming out.
Meowth: Push! James: AHHHH! (pushes)
*The push makes three of the kittens pop out.
Kittens: Meow! James: If I could get this last one out….(straining) Just one more left, Meowth….(squeals, pushes) Meowth: You're almost there! James: (weakly) Help, Meowth…. Meowth: Push, James! James: (pushes) EEEEE!
*A little kitten pops out.
Kitten: Meow! James: Ohhh….(falls back into bed)
*Meowth bites off the umbilical cords, then goes back to gingerly patting and rubbing James's hand.
James: (tired) So I didn't have ten kittens. Jessie: You do realize you just gave birth in front of the Twerps?
*James blushes, smiles sheepishly, and sweat-drops.
Meowth: You should just rest, James. It's late and you just had four kittens.
*Meowth gives the kittens bottled milk pumped from James's nipples. He scrapes the afterbirth onto a plate for them to eat. James goes back to sleep.
*The next day….
James: (sing-songishly) Oh, kittens! It's feeding time!
*James opens his shirt and picks up a kitten. The kitten bites James on the nipple and glares at him.
James: He hates me. I birthed him, and he hates me. (teary) What did I do wrong? Meowth: The others like you.
*All the other kittens sniff and lick at James.
James: I think they're just hungry. Meowth: I'll take care of this one for now. (picks up a milk bottle) James: I'll feed the other three.
*Two of the kittens suckle from James. The third one drinks a bottle of James's milk. The kittens take turns drinking from bottles and suckling from James, like the last litter did.
*A few weeks later, James takes a ride on Meowth's rocket again. A few weeks after this, James wakes up in the middle of the night to vomit.
*Minor detail: the snowstorm has kept up and Team Twerp is still stranded there.
*James gets out the pregnancy test for Pokémon and pees on the grey oval. Meowth notices James isn't in bed with him and gets up. He sees a light under the bathroom door.
Meowth: (knocks on door) Jimmy? You okay in there? James: (spaced out) Meowth? Meowth: Yes, James? James: (spaced out) Would you believe me if I told you that I'm pregnant again? Meowth: This is the third time. James: (spaced out) I know.
*There is silence for a minute. James is thinking about how his life got to this point.
James: Meowth? Will you please come in and nurse me? I'm about to get very, very sick.
*Meowth "nurses" James and makes sure none of the "sickness" lands outside the toilet. That's pretty much all he can do at this point.
Meowth: You definitely have a kitten in there. James: How many this time?
*Meowth gets out the "Kitten 2000 Pregnancy Test," a test that tells how many kittens a Meowth (or a James) will have. James pees on the grey oval. After a minute, a blue "1" appears.
James: Finally….A single birth. Meowth: But it'll probably seem equal to at least three kittens. James: (sighs) I'm used to it.
*James gets off the bathroom floor. He will probably be back there soon.
James: I guess I'll go back to bed. Any suggestions on what I should do?
*James is standing with a hand on his hip. His blue hair looks wet and his white pajamas look translucent because of the sweat. Meowth has a few ideas about what he wants to do with James in bed, but he wisely keeps them to himself.
Meowth: I think you should stay in bed—I mean—off your feet for a while.
*James sits down on the bed, feeling the kitten move.
James: I don't know why, but I'm really nervous this time. Meowth: You shouldn't be nervous. You're practically a pro at this. James: I just feel like something very bad is about to happen.
*Let's skip ahead to see why James is so nervous.
*Jessiebelle breaks in and kills Meowth with an occult knife.
James: No….He can't die. I'm still pregnant with his kitten. Jessie: He's gone, James.
*Like James is going to settle for "he's gone."
James: No. He can't be. He's not. This is just one of my crazy dreams, isn't it? Isn't it, Jessie?! This is just a dream, right?! Right?! Jessie: James, he's dead for real. James: Oh, no….(sits down heavily) No! (starts crying) Jessie: Don't cry, it's not good for the kittens. James: (weakly) This must've been why I was so nervous. (screaming and sobbing)
*The next day is a cold, cloudy day. The weather makes Meowth's gravesite look like a barren field. James comes out of the cabin, dressed entirely in black. He's wearing a black cloak with a small red "R" on it. He looks sad and his unkempt hair is blown limply by the wind. Basically, he looks defeated. He walks over to Meowth's grave and kneels down.
James: Why, Meowth? Why did you have to die? You never got to see your kitten. I'll never get to see your face light up at its birth. Sure, Jessie will help me, but now I'll need a photograph to compare the kitten's looks to yours.
*James stands up. He starts singing quietly.
James: (singing to the tune of "American Pie," the Madonna version) You left me singing….Why, why did Meowth die? We've got kittens, you were smitten by Jessiebelle's knife. We're down to two, with Jessie and I. I can't continue being a bad guy. I can't continue being a bad guy….
*The twerps are watching from a distance.
Misty: That's a nice song. James: (blushes) Thank you. (sighs) Meowth used to love helping me sing the kittens to sleep.
*They stand there silently.
Misty: I should be getting back to the group. James: Goodbye, Misty. Misty: Goodbye, James.
*James goes back into the cabin. His face looks drained of color, except for a red flush because of the cold wind. He goes into the bedroom and lies down in bed. He dreams Meowth's spirit comes back. He wakes up, quietly.
James: Meowth's spirit came back to me. Maybe Meowth will, too.
*James feels the time to give birth coming closer until one stormy night….
James: The kittens are coming! Jessie: Push! James: (pushes and screams) I know I can do this! (pushes) Kitten: (pops out partially) Meow! James: OH MY GODS! (screams, pushes)
*The kitten pops out fully. This time, James must bite off the umbilical cord.
Kitten: Meow! James: He's beautiful. (gets teary-eyed) But Meowth won't see this. (starts crying)
*Jessie comforts James and holds him as he breastfeeds the kitten. A little while later, he and the kitten share the placenta as a snack.
*The next day, after the kitten is more alert, James takes him outside to see Meowth's grave.
James: See that? That's Meowth's grave. He helped give you life. (softly) Unfortunately, you'll never get to meet him. Kitten: Meow? James: He was murdered. (starts to cry) Kitten: Meow. (snuggles up against James)
*The little kitten meows and smiles up at James.
James: (sniff) I love you. And your father did, too. (holds kitten close, starts crying again)
*After a while, James stops crying.
James: (dark voice) I cry too much. Jessie was right. Every single day, I cry.
*James's tone scares the kitten. The kitten starts to cry.
James: (near to tears again) Now I've scared my own kitten. (to kitten) It's all right, I didn't mean to take that tone of voice. I'm sorry I scared you. (sniffles)
*Tears run down James's face. He cradles and rocks the little kitten. The kitten stops crying.
James: It's all right. Don't cry.
*He is answered by a quiet snore and a small meow while breathing. The kitten has fallen asleep.
James: (smiles sadly) How sweet. He snores like a combination of me and….(voice trails off) I don't know what I'm going to do if I end up mentioning….I can't even say my own teammate's name. Am I too traumatized?
*Jessie comes out to comfort James. Wobbuffet comes out of his Pokéball.
Jessie: Get back in, Wobbuffet!
*Wobbuffet goes over to Meowth's grave and pees on it.
James: (gasps) Wobbuffet! Show some respect!
*The dirt shifts. A paw punches out of the earth, followed by the rest of a very dirty Meowth. Jessie and James are surprised.
James: Meowth? You're….you're alive?! Meowth: Apparently, Wobbuffet urine has regenerative properties. (looks at James) Is that the new kitten? James: Yes. I'm sorry you didn't get to see his birth. Meowth: (smiles) Don't worry. I saw it.
*A simple, happy ending to a complicated Pokébestial story.
-O-o-O-
Moral of the story: Wobbuffet should pee on my music taste; maybe it'll get better.
Moltres James: You can make a religion out of this
I found an old fic I wrote after "The Fortune Hunters" came out.
Apparently, kid-me was so sad for James after he learned his actual horoscope, she wrote a whole ass fix fic where he ended up being a Moltres type.
And then I read further and it spiraled into madness.
So that's definitely going on this blog.
The Book of Moltres James: A Religiously Clueless Pokéfic (part one)
Other contenders for titles: Yes, Virgin James, There Is A Moltres God; The Blood of the Chicken
This is a fic I wrote when I was thirteen (possibly old enough to know better). Apparently, I watched "The Fortune Hunters" and thought it needed a fix fic. Unfortunately, this fic is just a little broken.
This fic includes/will include: Pokémon/Human romantic relationship (but since it's the human form of the spirit of Moltres, maybe it's okay?); mpreg/male pregnancy; a loose understanding of religion, cults, and the occult; bizarre focus on James's virginity; mentions of blood; general angst; shaky grasp of the realities of pregnancy and childrearing; possible out-of-character moments for Jessie, James, and Meowth; definite out-of-character moments for the twerps; unrequited blueshipping from Meowth; original characters; bad ideas about romance; ellipses abuse
-O-o-O-o-O-
(James’s point of view)
I was a fallen soul.
“I’m not a Moltres,” I thought. “My life is trash.” That was what I used to think.
That was before I realized that I had looked up the wrong date. I had looked up the date March 20, 1984 instead of April 20, 1984.
“I’m not a Magikarp!” I thought. Oh, happy day!
Then another thought hit me: What if I was something worse? Like a Weedle? I was afraid to look at the fortune book for a week. Then I realized it’s only a fortune. It can’t hurt me. I looked up my fortune. I couldn’t believe it.
I was actually a Moltres.
-O-o-O-
I watched a group called the Moltres Witnesses. They were very serious Moltres worshippers.
Jessie called it a cult, but I didn’t care. I, too, had become a serious Moltres worshipper. I stopped eating chicken because Moltres is a fire chicken. I prostrated myself in the Temple of Moltres. Before I went in, I purged myself, forcing my body to rid itself of all impurities.
The only part of the chicken I would consume was its blood.
Later, I found out the Moltres Witnesses weren’t that extreme, they just bowed down and prayed to Moltres every day.
I didn’t really join the group at first. I only watched them, hiding, and secretly worshipped Moltres with them. I was too shy to ask them if I could join.
But one day, Moltres came. He was right next to me all along and I didn’t even know it.
I heard a voice on the wind say, “What are you doing over here in the bushes?”
I turned around. Moltres was there.
“I….” I was speechless.
“Yes?” Moltres patiently awaited my answer.
“I was honoring you,” I said, while bowing, “O Mighty Moltres.”
“I’ve seen you. You have given up eating the flesh of the chicken. You only drink the blood. You purge yourself before entering my temple,” Moltres said.
“You can talk?!”
“Yes, James, I can talk.”
I was shocked. He knew my name! Wow!
After that, I loved, respected, and honored Moltres even harder.
Then the accident happened.
-O-o-O-
Jessie and Meowth were watching the news on TV. An accident report came on. The accident wasn’t far from us.
“Wow. That’s nasty. That huge thing must’ve caused a really big fire,” Jessie said.
“Jessie, be quiet! Don’t let James hear!” Meowth said.
As soon as I heard the “don’t let James hear” part, I ran out into the living room.
The accident was Moltres.
Moltres had been hit by a truck.
I ran into the bathroom crying. I heard Meowth say, “I knew it would break his heart. I just wanted to protect him.”
After about five minutes, I snuck out of the bathroom to the crash site. Officer Jenny was there with Nurse Joy. The twerps were there, too.
I didn’t care who was watching. I bowed down to Moltres and talked softly to him.
“What’s he doing?” Ash said.
“Moltres must’ve been like a god. The legendary bird deserves a proper burial,” Officer Jenny said.
I attended Moltres’s funeral. The Moltres Witnesses were there, too. The twerps, Officer Jenny, and Nurse Joy were there, also.
I didn’t cry. I knew I had to be strong for Moltres. But I was thinking, “Why did you leave me like that, Moltres? Why did it have to be you?”
“It was just a chicken with fire on it,” Ash said.
I got mad. “No, he wasn’t! Moltres was a god to a group called Moltres Witnesses! How can you say he was ‘just a chicken’?”
Ash shut up for the rest of the funeral.
The Moltres Witnesses came up to me.
“Hey, you’re the one Moltres talked to!” one of them, a blond man, said.
I got a little scared. What if that was forbidden?
“What’s your birthdate? I wanna look up your Pokémon type.”
“April 20, 1984.”
The man flipped to April twentieth in the Pokémon fortune book.
“He’s a….a Moltres!” the man yelled.
“No wonder Moltres liked him. He’s kinda hot,” a red-haired guy said.
“Oh, give it up Ronald, he’s too young for you,” a green-haired woman said.
“What’s your name?”
“James. What’s yours?”
“Cujo.”
“I’m Rosemary,” the woman said.
“I’m Ronald,” the other guy said.
When the funeral was over, we said goodbye to each other. I walked home. I couldn’t believe Moltres had died.
“Who will I look up to now?” I thought.
-O-o-O-o-O-
Moral of the story: If a book says you're a thing, immediately join a cult for it and get hit on by Ronald McDonald at a funeral for a fire chicken. (DO NOT ACTUALLY DO THIS)
The Book of Moltres James: The Bird(man) Who Got Away (part three)
The story calms down for a bit, but goes back to its usual bonkers self in the next part. Teen-me just couldn't help herself and had to shoehorn in some blueshipping.
Part one
Part Two
This fic includes/will include: Pokémon/Human romantic relationship (but since it’s the human form of the spirit of Moltres, maybe it’s okay?); mpreg/male pregnancy; shaky understanding of religion, cults, and the occult; lack of medical knowledge; bizarre focus on James’s virginity; mentions of blood; general angst; shaky grasp of the realities of pregnancy and childrearing; possible out-of-character moments for Jessie, James, and Meowth; definite out of character moments for the twerps; unrequited blueshipping from Meowth; original characters; odd ideas about romance; ellipses abuse
-O-o-O-o-O-
(Third person point of view)
“James, if you’re going to wear those awful maternity clothes, at least wear matching shoes instead of your boots,” Jessie said.
“No way! I don’t want anyone to see my ankles,” James said.
His ankles weren’t that badly swollen, but to James, they were huge.
James also thought he looked awful in his Team Rocket uniform because he was very heavily pregnant, so he got a black maternity shirt and sewed a red “R” onto it.
Team Rocket hadn’t chased the twerps for eight months. The twerps wondered why. So they knocked on the door of Team Rocket’s cabin. James answered it.
“What are you three doing here?” he asked, peeking out from behind the door so the twerps could only see his face.
“How come we can only see your face?” Brock asked. Then he added, “Are you decent?”
“No,” James said. “I won’t be for another month.”
“You’re naked?!”
“No!”
“Then why would you be indecent?” Misty said.
“Because I don’t want you to see me.”
“Why not?” Ash said.
“I just don’t!” James said. He tried to push the door closed, but Ash started trying to push it open.
“Why haven’t you chased us?” Ash asked.
“Because we don’t want to!”
James pushed the door shut and locked it. The twerps were surprised.
“Team Rocket doesn’t want to chase us?” Misty said.
“I feel so rejected!” Brock said.
“Something’s up,” Ash said.
The twerps ran around the cabin, looking to find a window to look in, but all the windows were covered with shades.
“Wait a minute. They haven’t chased us for eight months. James said he didn’t want us to see him for a month. That makes nine months,” Brock said.
“What does that mean? Is James in school?” Ash asked.
“School is ten months, Ash,” Misty said.
“And when Team Rocket drank the purple Shuckle potion, Meowth fell in love with James,” Brock continued.
“Brock, where you’re going with this story is just weird,” Misty said.
“Where is he going with it?” Ash said.
“Don’t you get it?” Brock said.
“No,” Ash said.
Brock and Misty face-faulted.
“He’s saying James and Meowth had sex and James is pregnant!” Misty yelled.
“Eww! I wish you hadn’t told me!” Ash yelled.
“But James is a human and Meowth is a Pokémon,” Misty said.
“There are times when that doesn’t matter,” Brock said. “However, we don’t know if this is one of those times.”
“We don’t even know whether or not James and Meowth had sex,” Ash said.
So the twerps forgot about it and minded their own business.
-O-o-O-
James was a little over nine months pregnant.
He had become quieter and emotional. He was eating more than he usually did.
Sometimes he would run to the temple of Moltres and stay there for hours, praying for a safe birth.
He still got feverish fits. Sometimes he would just get really feverish for a few hours.
One day, Meowth was sitting with James, who was lying down in bed.
“I know you’re hot and uncomfortable, but it’s part of the pregnancy,” he said, stroking James’s hair.
“Meowth….I’m two weeks overdue so far. Maybe it lasts more than nine months,” James said.
Meowth hated to see James so miserable. He knew Moltres had chosen James because he was pure and a virgin, but James was so young. He was only eighteen.
Meowth had had plans for James and himself. He wanted to capture Pikachu and other Pokémon and sell them to the boss, get rich, quit, run off, and marry James and raise kittens with James.
He also sort of thought that fantasy was too good to happen and figured he would end up being a thug while James was pregnant and barefoot in a Team Rocket trailer near the jailhouse.
The reality was a lot like Meowth’s worst-case-scenario fantasy. They were living in a shack little bigger than a trailer. Meowth was a criminal and James was pregnant, but not barefoot.
“He wouldn’t want to be barefoot. Then we’d see his ankles,” Meowth thought.
James raised himself off the bed slowly.
“Where are you going?” Meowth asked.
“The bathroom,” James answered, limping towards the bathroom for a nice long cry.
-O-o-O-o-O-
Moral of the story: If you really love someone, you will learn to let them go and get impregnated by a mystical fire chicken spirit after reading a fortune-telling book.
my brain trolls me
me: I think this male character is intriguing and want to see how he and his companions would react in a variety of situations, so I'm going to write a fanfic and
my dumbass brain:
KNOCK HIM UP
KNOCK HIM UP
The Book of Moltres James: He's Going to Need Burn Heal for His Soul (the fourth and final fraction)
He'll probably also need burn heal for another part of his body, but I'm not going to say which one.
Parts of this story are....very 2002.
Part one
Part two
Part three
This fic includes/will include: Pokémon/Human romantic relationship (but since it’s the human form of the spirit of Moltres, maybe it’s okay?); mpreg/male pregnancy; shaky understanding of religion, cults, and the occult; lack of medical knowledge (especially when it comes to "natural medicine"); bizarre focus on James’s virginity; mentions of blood; general angst; shaky grasp of the realities of pregnancy and childrearing; possible out-of-character moments for Jessie, James, and Meowth; definite out of character moments for the twerps; Butch and Cassidy are probably out-of-character, too; unrequited blueshipping from Meowth; original characters; bad ideas about romance; birthing scene; JAMES EATS THE PLACENTA (offscreen); ellipses abuse
-O-o-O-o-O-
The next day, James found out something he really shouldn’t have to deal with in his condition.
He found out who had been driving the truck that hit Moltres.
He was at the convenience store with Jessie, buying diapers. There was no one in the store except for the girl working there and two old ladies.
Butch and Cassidy walked in. They saw James in the diaper section and couldn’t help tormenting him.
They didn’t know Jessie was nearby.
“So, James, how does it feel to not be a Moltres?” Cassidy said.
“Actually, you’re wrong. In the real fortune-telling book, I was still a Moltres. So how does it feel to know I don’t care about your insults?” James said.
“Well, you will care—after we tell you about the death of Moltres,” Butch said.
“What do you know or care about the death of Moltres?” James retorted.
“You know that truck that ran over Moltres? What was on the truck?” Cassidy said.
“A black ‘R’.”
“Haven’t you figured it out? We didn’t know until it happened. But we looked back and saw this giant yellow fiery chicken,” Butch said.
“You didn’t….” James said.
“Oh, yes, we did.”
“And you’re proud of it.” James’s tone was dark.
“Yeah, we sure are.” Cassidy laughed in James’s face.
Then Butch and Cassidy walked out, laughing evilly and somewhat hysterically. The two old ladies stared at them.
James was left in a state of shock. He paid for the diapers.
“Jessie, we have to leave the store, now,” James said. He saw Butch and Cassidy hanging around outside.
“Why? What’s the rush?” Jessie said.
“We just have to.”
Jessie thought Officer Jenny was there, or James was about to go into labor, so she followed James out.
“Where are you going?” said a froggy voice.
They turned around and saw Butch and Cassidy. Jessie realized why James wanted to leave.
“Tsk, tsk, tsk. Trying to run away. That’s not very Moltres-like,” Cassidy said.
“And what were you doing in the diaper aisle? Do you wear diapers?” Butch said.
“Wait, he doesn’t. But I bet he and Meowth got together and did it and the kitten needs it!” Cassidy said.
“I knew you looked like you gained weight,” Butch teased.
James turned red.
“Leave him alone. Does he really need you to deal with? He lost Moltres and he’s going to have a baby. Don’t you think you should just piss off?” Jessie turned to James. “Let’s go.”
“Coward!” Cassidy screamed.
Jessie turned around. “Who are you calling a coward?!”
James tugged on Jessie’s shirt sleeve. “Jess, we should go.”
They got in their unmarked van and drove away.
“They ran over Moltres,” James said flatly.
“They did?!”
James nodded solemnly.
They were silent.
“Why does Cassidy have to be such a bitch? Like, who does she think she is, insulting you like that—”
“Jessie….”
“What is her problem? She needs to just shut the fuck up.”
“Jessie….”
“Maybe I should give her a good beating next time she does that.”
“Jessie! I think it’s time!” James cried out.
Jessie sped up. “We’ll be home in a second,” she said.
They got to the cabin. Jessie got out the van. “Can you walk?” she asked James.
“I think so….” James got out of the van and doubled over.
“You can’t walk,” Jessie said.
She tried to help James, but he resisted. “I want to do it myself,” he said.
Jessie ignored him. She picked him up and went into the cabin. She put him down on the bed. Meowth walked in.
“What’s wrong with James?” he asked, sounding worried.
“He’s in labor. Call the doctor,” Jessie said.
She went back to James. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” James was almost in tears.
“Maybe the doctor could give you some painkillers when he gets here.”
“No, Jessie.”
Jessie looked at James. “You don’t want painkillers?”
“I’ve never needed any unnatural medicine in my life.”
“What?”
“Not all medicine is man-made, Jessie. Most of it is made out of plants. But I’ve only taken medicine that has no chemicals in it.”
“What about the times when there wasn’t any natural medicine?” Jessie said.
James’s eyes glazed over. “I managed without it.”
Jessie remembered all the times she called James weird for running out to get all those weird plants. She wouldn’t help him find the plants because she was working on their plans. Meowth, who thought dandelions were flowers, wouldn’t have been very helpful. So James had to go out alone and find the plants himself, while he was in pain. If he didn’t find the plant he needed, he would just come back and suffer. Meowth would try to comfort James, but Jessie made them both work, so they hardly had any time to rest.
If Jessie had known James was so uncomfortable, she wouldn’t have teased him.
“Natural medicine is better for him anyway.”
Both Jessie and James turned to the door to see who spoke. It was the same doctor who gave James the check-up.
The doctor went over to James, who was having another contraction. “Just breathe,” he said.
James was breathing, but it sounded more like sobbing.
“All right, you’re ready to push!” the doctor said.
Meanwhile, the twerps heard a scream.
“What was that?” Misty said, scared.
“I think it was a scream,” Brock said.
They ran, following the screaming.
Back at the cabin, James was experiencing childbirth.
“You’re almost there! I can see the head. Now, just push really, really hard this time!” the doctor said.
James screamed and pushed. That last push did it.
“Congratulations!” the doctor said. Everyone heard the baby cry.
James cried. “I wish Moltres was here to see his child.”
Unknown to James and the others, a yellow-clad figure with red-streaked yellow hair floated outside the window.
“Worry not, James,” the figure said mentally. “I did.”
James got the telepathic message and looked toward the window. The figure smiled at him. The next thing James knew, the figure turned into the spirit of Moltres and flew off. James’s eyes filled with tears of joy as he held his child.
The doctor went into the other room to talk to Jessie and Meowth. James sat in bed, feeding the child from his breast.
Team Twerp had watched the whole thing through the window.
“What the hell?!” Ash screamed.
“Shut up, Ash! He’ll hear you,” Misty said.
James looked up. “What are you twerps doing here?”
“James….What did you just do?” Misty asked.
Ash climbed through the window.
“Take another step and I’ll slap you with the umbilical cord.” James’s tone was dark and ominous.
“James, please don’t tell me you just gave birth to the child you’re holding,” Misty said.
“Fine. I won’t tell you.”
“I don’t think you should become a parent,” Ash said. “Maybe you should give the child up.”
“You’ll get this child when you pry her from my cold dead arms.”
“Who’s even the father?”
“Why would you care?”
The doctor came back in. “Who are these three?” he asked.
“No one important,” James said.
“Did he really give birth to that child?” Misty asked.
“Yes. I helped him,” the doctor said.
“Maybe you three should go now,” Meowth said.
The twerps left.
“You should get some rest. You’ve been through a lot today,” Jessie said to James.
James put the child in a basket.
“He’ll be a good Moltres Witness,” Meowth said.
“It’s a girl. Her name is Twilight,” James said.
The doctor took out a dried plant, a pestle, and a mortar. He ground the plant up and mixed it with water.
“Here, drink this. It’ll help get rid of the pain,” he said.
James drank the potion.
“Natural medicine never fails to do its job. It lasts longer than synthetic medicine,” the doctor said. “And I saved the placenta. You can eat it for strength later.”
“No wonder you was always so healthy,” Meowth said.
They were silent for a while. James finished drinking the medicine.
“I just realized something,” James said. He must’ve been feeling better. “I don’t think I can fit into my Moltres costume.”
Everyone but James face-faulted.
“Well, at least I can lose weight by catching Pokémon,” he continued.
“You can’t, at least, not yet. You should try not to do anything that physical for six weeks.”
“Six whole weeks?” James exclaimed.
“Six to eight weeks. And you should try to stay off your feet.”
James lay back down, sighing.
“Get some rest, James,” Meowth said, tucking James back into bed.
Then the doctor left and James went to sleep.
-O-o-O-
James sat, nursing the tiny blue-haired baby.
He loved his daughter, Twilight. “If only Moltres could see her….”
He suddenly got the urge to look at the window.
He looked and saw the spirit of Moltres, in human form.
“Hello, James,” Moltres said.
“Moltres! You’re here!” James cried.
He went over to the window.
Moltres noticed Twilight. “Is she our child?” he asked.
“Yes,” James said.
“She’s beautiful. Just like her man-mother,” Moltres said.
“Look, Twilight, this is your father,” James said, showing Twilight to Moltres, but not in a Michael Jackson-ish way.
“Now you don’t have to be sad about her not knowing her father,” Moltres said. He hugged James. “I must go now. Goodbye, James.”
“Goodbye, Moltres.”
-O-o-O-
Epilogue (editor's note: PRAISE THE MIGHTY MOLTRES THIS SHIT IS ENDING)
Jessie, James, Meowth, and Twilight live happily in their new house.
Jessie, James, and Meowth got a new job where they get paid $1,000 a week so they have money to buy a small house. They all quit Team Rocket to set a good example for Twilight.
The twerps are not at war with Team Rocket anymore. They live next door to Jessie, James, and Meowth and visit them regularly.
Butch and Cassidy will probably feel the flames of Moltres and not in a good way.
James still goes to the temple of Moltres. He takes Twilight there, so she knows how great her father was.
James is an official Moltres Witness convert. He hopes Twilight will follow in her parents’ footsteps.
And as for Moltres, well, he’s out there. Moltres may just be reincarnated. James was never sure of that.
But he’s bound to find out!
-O-o-O-o-O-
Moral of the story: Eat the placenta.
E A T ~ I T ~ F O R ~ S T R E N G T H
silly headcanon time
The Lord of Light, R'hllor, sometimes manifests as a Moltres. If James had really stuck with the Moltres thing, he could've become the Johto Melisandre.
Jessie Drugs James and Is Generally Abusive: Hurt Without Much Comfort (part one of four)
Another darkfic. I had almost forgotten I'd written this (those repressed memories wouldn't cooperate).
I'm slowly realizing that I wrote a lot of hurt/comfort and whump fic before I even knew there was a term for it.
Content Warning: First-person mixed points-of-view; abuse; workplace violence; depiction of medical issues and injuries; poisoning by chemicals or drugging; forcible injection; out-of-character behavior for James and Meowth; absolute character assassination of Jessie; Jesus Hades Christ twelve!me tortured James a lot in fic
-O-o-O-o-O-
(Meowth's point of view)
It all started when Jessie decided we had to work harder and look more threatening so people would be scared of us. That meant we had to look good and not ghetto.
That meant cleaning the van.
All she did was shove a bucket of some cleaning liquid in our faces. It smelled like ass.
"What is this crap?" I said.
"It's a special chemical blend," Jessie said. Then she went to work on our plan.
At the time I didn't know what was going on. I thought this was just another way to improve Team Rocket that probably wouldn't work.
It wasn't.
-O-o-O-
We were cleaning the van for about a half an hour when James started coughing.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"I don't know. I just don't feel good," James said weakly.
"Maybe it's the chemicals," I said.
At that point, James fainted.
I ran to get Jessie. "James just fainted!" I screamed. "Help him!"
We went to James. He was unconscious and motionless.
"Speak to me! Do something!" I yelled.
Jessie just said, "He'll live," and walked away.
I couldn't believe it. I just stood there. Had she lost her mind?
(James's point of view)
I came to in our tent. I was lying on my sleeping bag. Meowth was sitting nearby.
"What happened?" I asked.
Meowth ran over to me and hugged me. "You fainted," he said. He was crying. I didn't know why he was crying at the time.
"Why are you crying?" I asked. It hurt me to see Meowth unhappy or crying.
"I'm just happy you're conscious. Now get some rest," Meowth said. He exited the tent.
I lay in bed, alone in the tent. The only reason why Meowth would be crying is if something happened.
"Something could've happened to Jessie!" I thought.
I was almost panicking. I tried to sit up, but was hit by a sudden rush of nausea. I lay back down, but it didn't improve. I sat up again and threw up.
I slept for about three hours after that.
Even thought Meowth came into the tent again, I didn't ask him why he was crying. I thought he would be upset or hurt.
I was also scared. Maybe it was something Jessie was trying to do to me. She did make us clean the van with some strange chemicals.
She was trying to drug me.
(Meowth's point of view)
The day after the van incident, I saw something that nearly frightened me.
It also gave me a clue to what Jessie put in the cleaning liquid.
I was sitting outside the tent. James was inside the tent, resting. He had been resting a lot after the incident with the cleaning liquid.
Or maybe he had been training that homicidal Victreebel.
Anyway, Jessie came in. She was holding a syringe with a needle. What could that be for, I thought.
I watched with curiosity, then fear. Jessie stuck the needle in James's left arm.
James sat up quickly. His bluish-violet hair was ruffled because he'd been sleeping. His bright green eyes were glazed over.
He stared at Jessie for a few seconds, then passed out.
I went into the tent after Jessie left.
"Wake up, James," I said softly.
James opened his eyes halfway.
"What happened?" James asked softly.
"I saw Jessie inject something into you. It made you faint," I said. I didn't know if James would believe me or if he would think I was putting down Jessie, but I had to tell him the truth.
He didn't believe it.
"It….it must have been something else that caused the fainting," James whispered.
"No, I'm pretty sure it was the injection," I said quietly.
James began to cry as if his heart had been broken.
In a way, it had been.
-O-o-O-
I saw something I never thought I would see.
Jessie was forcing James to take some pills. James was refusing. Ever since he was drugged with the needle, he'd been feeling unwell.
Jessie took out the syringe. She dissolved the pills in water and put it in the syringe. She injected the drug into James. James pulled away and ended up collapsing on the ground.
As soon as Jessie walked away, I dragged James inside the tent. He sat up weakly.
"Meowth….Was I dreaming? Did I just have a nightmare about Jessiebelle? Am I hallucinating?" James asked weakly.
"It was real, and it was Jessie," I said.
James didn't look like he in any condition to resist the truth. In fact, he looked like he would faint from shock.
James also looked hurt. I didn't know what to do.
"But why?" he asked.
All I could say was, "I don't know."
-O-o-O-o-O-
Moral of the story: The D.A.R.E. program did strange things to twelve!me's brain.
James's Special Delivery: I Wish I Could Quit You (part one of three)
A slightly more fluffy fic after....whatever the fuck that last thing was.
I seem to have written most of these fics under the impression that Meowth is the dashing hero tomcat and James is like his ideal queen cat. I have no idea where my preteen/teen self got those ideas, but they're way too much like the Seme/Uke false dichotomy that seemed to plague a lot of slashfic when I was a kid.
This fic contains: Pokémon/Human romantic relationship (warning because some people might be disturbed by it, even though Meowth can consent in this story); unexplained mpreg/male pregnancy; shaky grasp of the realities of pregnancy and childrearing; lack of medical and scientific knowledge; possible out-of-character moments for Jessie, James, and Meowth; odd ideas about romance; Dr. Fuji is miraculously alive somehow; mentions of Jessie being violent
-O-o-O-o-O-
James made up his mind. It was too painful. He couldn’t go on hurting innocent trainers and stealing their Pokémon.
He was quitting Team Rocket.
It was a hard decision. If he quit, he would have a hard time finding a job.
He would also have to leave Meowth, his one true love.
Little did he know, Meowth was thinking the same thing.
-O-o-O-
Meowth wanted to leave Team Rocket, too. He just wasn’t good at stealing Pokémon and his heart wasn’t in it anymore.
The only reason he had stayed so long was because of James. He was deeply in love with James. He couldn’t bear to steal Pokémon anymore, but he couldn’t bear to live without being around James’s gentle nature or seeing James’s lovely face or hearing his sweet voice.
It was a hard decision, but Meowth made up his mind. He was quitting.
-O-o-O-
That day, James went to tell Meowth he was quitting. Meowth went to tell James he was quitting. They ran into each other in the bedroom.
“I’ve been looking all over for you,” Meowth said.
“Me too. I have something to tell you,” James said.
“So do I.”
“You go first.”
Meowth took a deep breath. “I’m thinking about quitting Team Rocket.”
James looked shocked.
“James, I know we might never see each other again—” Meowth started.
“No, I’m surprised because I was thinking the exact same thing,” James said.
“If you’re thinking the same thing, we could quit together,” Meowth said.
“We could?”
“Yes, James. Because I love you.”
James was even more shocked. “Wow.”
“Do you love me too?”
“Yes, Meowth, of course I love you.”
Meowth held James’s hand and kissed it. James blushed.
James picked up Meowth and kissed him. They stared into each other’s eyes. Then they jumped on the bed and started kissing.
When they stopped kissing, James said, “There’s just one problem.”
“What is it?” Meowth said.
“What will Jessie do about this? How are we going to hide it?” James whispered.
Meowth put his arms around James. “Don’t worry. We’ll think of something.”
-O-o-O-
The next day, James came up with a brilliant plan.
“Meowth, I just got an idea. Why don’t we take Jessie to a psychiatrist and then when she’s less violent, we can tell her about us,” James said.
“But where are we going to find a psychiatrist?” Meowth asked.
“There’s a psychiatrist’s office in Team Rocket Headquarters. We can convince her to go there until she gets her violence problems fixed, then we can tell her we’re quitting.”
“We’ll have to trick her first, but it’s gonna work,” Meowth said.
-O-o-O-
The next day, James and Meowth talked Jessie into seeing the psychiatrist. Then Dr. Fuji called them.
“I need you to do an experiment. First, James, you swallow this pill, then have sexual intercourse with Meowth,” he said.
“What’s the pill for?” Meowth asked.
“It’s supposed to make humans able to have offspring with Pokémon,” Dr. Fuji explained.
James got nervous. He loved Meowth, but he wasn’t sure he was ready to have a baby.
He and Meowth picked up Jessie from the psychiatrist when her session was over and went home.
-O-o-O-
Meowth went into the bedroom later that day and saw James crying.
“James, what’s wrong?” he asked.
“I don’t want to have a baby for Team Rocket. I just want to have a baby for the two of us,” James said.
Meowth hugged James. “It’ll be okay,” he said, not knowing what else to say.
-O-o-O-o-O-
Moral of the story: Team Rocket is totally an organization that makes its members do sexual science experiments yet will give them therapy to help them become less violent.
a quick sketch of a ship kitten
More Sim Team Rocket.
This sums up the household pretty well, I think. Jessie is randomly doing push-ups, Meowth is talking and doesn't care if the other two are listening (possibly having a Giovanni fantasy), and I don't even know what James is doing back there.
They survived the first night in the cursed Sim shack! Their reward is a proper toilet.
Not a comfortable toilet, mind, but at least they won't get attacked by squirrels when they need to pee.
Meowth, when you tell him to take a bath.
A casual family portrait of sorts. (Human Meowth finally got in the bath like I told him to.)
James nearly chopped off a finger making their breakfast salad, but he's not bothered by it.
Meanwhile, Jessie paints the Arnolfini Wedding.
"More like the Arnolfurry Wedding."
Meowth rudely spurns James's cooking to eat the leftover fruitcake even though HE KNOWS it'll give him an uncomfortable moodlet.
Nice to know his mild masochism carried over to the Sims world.
Kitty Meowth you get your butt out of that salad! James slaved over that counter for five whole minutes to make that!
He actually put that in his mouth.
"Waste not, want not."
"DO NOT WANT," says Jessie of the cat butt salad.
Meowth plays guitar to Meowth. Nice to see him bonding with himself.
The bees were in a bad mood that day.
Poor James.
James and Meowth take turns pushing each other on the swings.
They look so happy.
Meowth kept giving this look at James's butt. If they get together in the Sims, at least they'll be the same species.
the mighty moltres, our man-mother of the everlasting blaze
help i think i can make a religion out of this
Yup. I’m happy they’re making this change. Creatively it was absolutely needed and it’s very exciting thinking about where things will go next. However, it’s still a big change. Something from our childhoods we thought would always be there is coming to a close. I’m defiantly emotional about it to say the least. But I’m proud of this show, I’m ready to remember this era fondly and see how things change in the next few years.
✨PREPARE FOR TROUBLE!✨
DAY 26
POKEMON
Jessie, James, Meowth from Pokemon.
I should’ve drawn my favorite pokemon but i just remembered this three.
He's so dorky, an iconic king
He was my favorite character Imma be honest. Jessie might've been my childhood crush, because she's so pretty (I still maintain this opinion) but JAMES my love
In a game of Fuck Marry Kill, I'd fuck Jessie for sure, but I'm MARRYING James because he's a keeper 100%
I'd like to take time to appreciate how much Team Rocket meant to me as a kid. I wasn't big on the game, I didn't even like the show much--but whenever these two showed up, I was glued to the screen
Jessie helped me feel comfortable in a world where everyone was telling me I had to dress girlish or I was just a rugged tomboy, that I had to pick a struggle and attitude to have. James made me feel happy that I could be boyish and still want to look pretty!
James was 100% my genderqueer awakening, because every time this bloke appeared on screen (either in fem or masc clothing) I was thrilled. I love them both so much. And they helped me understand that it's okay to just LIKE people. I thought James was pretty and Jessie was handsome for the longest time. That's how I referred to them as, and looking back, I think it was really great to be able to see guys as pretty and girls as handsome!
Even if I'm dressed in a crop top and shirt--if I'm practicing my archery don't call me "pretty" I AM TRYING TO EMBODY MY INNER GREMLIN RAGE, I wish to be Legolas from LOTR! He's a valliant majestic elf who scares the shit out of the Mordor orcs! I look badass, do not demean my suppressed rage!
And if I dressed in a suit and put on blue eye-shadow, I am both pretty and handsome. I can be both, and I will accept either because FUCK YEAH my make-up is awesome and the suit is sleek
And sometimes I am burrowed in my den and you will hear me cackling beneath the cover of my blanket shroud amongst my pillows and stuffed animals. Because yes, I am also a silly Meowth who desires praise and affection. Behold my goblin nature!!
screenshot redraw!