Mom Friend - Tumblr Posts

My friend just called herself boring looking so I guess I'm gonna have to kill whoever taught her those words

Queer people. Neurodivergent people. Disabled people. Age regressors. All other groups chased by others I may accidentaly forget.

You are loved. You are deserving of life. You are beautiful.

If you want protection, you are free to call me "nae" (a very nice adaptation for dad and mom in portuguese) and ask me to intimidate your bullies with my spear for you.

LMAO same

This is why we need each other, dear heart.

me to a friend: Drink water, eat three meals a day, stay productive, never forget how loved you are!

me to me: skip every meal, waste your day sitting around reminding yourself that you're worthless, you don't deserve happiness, you're literally pathetic-

Tell me you’re the parent friend without telling me.

I’ll go first; I have a bag stocked full of literally anything you might need throughout the day.

Second ago I was on a call with my friend who overdosed medications like 30mins ago

And they were fine

Like man

If they die tonight, I don't know what I will do

I mean they said they were fine and they had no symptoms of overdose but still...

But I'm still glad they called me

I hope they will be fine

a person can have many mom friends but only one friend can fill the role of the deadbeat uncle who shows up at a random family event once per year smelling like cigarettes, a garbage bag of christmas presents slung over his shoulder, usually leaving spectacularly drunk and/or after getting in a fight with another family member. if you have a deadbeat uncle friend you know who they are, and if you don’t then you probably are the deadbeat uncle or haven’t found them yet

Look at them!!!!

what is it about capybaras that attracts groups of small animals to them? Its not just mammals either its like birds and turtles and frogs too

The only one who is holding your friend group together is that therapist/mom friend, it's done for y'all the day they decide to leave.

proof that i am the mom friend

Friend: *coughs* ughhhh i wish i had a cough drop

Me:*grabs cough drop out of pocket, throws across table*

Friend: you have one!?

Me: i'm always prepared when i'm sick

Friend: cool.....thanks....

this happened yesterday

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Big Brother Slider, the true Mom Friend™

So we all have that friend, who is 100% the mom friend. And listen, are both Slider and Ice little shits of their own devices? Yes, but i'd say that Ice can be a solid Mom friend, when needed. BUT, when with Slider it just goes out of the window, and pair that with Big Brother!Slider, and you have one hell of a head cannon there.

Every time that they go to the bar, Slider doesn't even leave Ice's side, guards his drink like a feral dog, and rounds Ice up when it's time to go home

Stops Ice from having fun recklessly endangering himself

Once at the bar Ice was on his 5th Whiskey sour before a table sent over 3 shots of tequila, Ice smiled and brought one up to toast, and using his mom senses common sense, Slider abandons his chat with Goose and is at Ice's side in about 3.5 seconds saying "no no no no" takes the shots and whiskey sours out of his hand and drags Ice home

Nearly had an aneurism when he found out Ice let someone else (Goose) drive him somewhere

"YOU LET SOMEONE DRIVE YOU? WHAT IF THEY WERE TRYING TO KIDNAP YOU? KIDNAP THEN KILL YOU!? YOU KNOW PEOPLE HAVE A THING FOR YOUNG BLONDES" "WE WERE BOTH GOING BACK TO BASE, AND IM 24" "SO?? YOU'RE PRACTICALLY A BABY" "IT WAS GOOSE! AND YOU'RE ONLY A COUPLE YEARS OLDER THAN ME" "AND?? HE HAS A MUSTACHE! YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU'D TRUST SOMEONE WITH A MUSTACHE??" "YOU WERE IN THE CAR WITH ME!" "SO??"

Slider always, ALWAYS has snacks and Capri-Suns on his person incase Ice gets hungry

It's like clockwork, every time Ice starts to get hungry, hangry, cranky etc. Slider is there handing over a Capri-Sun and some carrot sticks or apple slices

"Well maybe if you didn-" Ice starts before being interrupted by Slider shoving an apple slice into his mouth mid sentence, and stopping what seems to be the next arguing match between him and Maverick in it's tracks. Ice just glowers at Slider with a pout and starts chewing on his apple slice. "I told you not to skip breakfast, now you're gonna be cranky" "Bite m-" and once more Ice is silenced with an apple slice, as Goose and Mav along with the rest of the flyboys watch on in fascinated horror as Ice's temper is swiftly and expertly derailed by Slider and his apple slices. When they're finished Slider promptly procured a Capri-Sun from somewhere and quickly shoved it within Ice's hands before he had a chance to protest. "No" Ice said looking at Slider "Drink it" "No" "Ice" "I don't want to, so im not" "Toma Mikhailovich so help me god" Slider starts, pinching the bridge of his nose, and Ice just huffs and starts to drink. The flyboys never recovered from this.

Once when filing paperwork Ice got a paper cut, as people do, and the cut is small but the tiniest, tiniest, itty bitty drop of blood wells forward and Slider already has a portable First Aid kit spread out on the desk, Neosporin on a bandaid before being wrapped around Ice's finger and Ice doesn't even blink

It's a whole 10 second ordeal and they just continue on with their lives like nothing happened

Ice coughed once after accidentally being caught out in the rain and Slider straight up commandeers the kitchen to make more soup than Ice could ever possibly consume fully convinced Ice is coming down with something

Admittedly, Ice did in fact get the flu, but Slider was too concerned to say "I told you so"

Despite everything, Slider and Ice (platonically) love each other, and Slider is 100% the mom friend between the two of them

If I forgot anything feel free to tell me!

I am both the mom friend and the anti-mom friend

Please send help

New Friend Archetype

there’s no “mom friend” in my group we all parent each other

“hey you didn’t eat very much, can you have two more bites?”

“yay, you woke up today! here’s a paper star :)”

“you didn’t deserve that. do you want me to kill him?”

Just found it funny that this is casual conversation for me and my friends. I’ve also been called “The Mom That Gives”. Being the mom friend is so nice. Anyways I’m all settled into the new place for the most part. I should be back to posting soon but I’m also still looking for a job so when that happens I might have to slow down a bit. I’ve seen a few people saying their ask box isn’t working so if you’ve sent me an ask or a message and haven’t gotten any sort of reply then please contact me on my kik: Freshie_Fangirl or my Snapchat by the same name. That’s all for now, be good, be safe, and have fun!

I reached peak mom/thearipist friend.

I told her to eat.

Talked her out of yelling at a ex and a ex best friend.

Got this stubborn ass girl to open up and tell me how she’s feeling.

Got her to sleep.

And have been there throughout her entire god awful relationship.

So I’m taking adoption requests. I can and will adopt you. Just shoot me a dm if you need a mom.

Reasons I should be your mom.

I’ll make sure you eat.

I’ll make sure you stay hydrated.

I’ll be your unofficial therapist.

I’ll give you the BEST advice I can.

I’ll always be there for you.

I’ll make sure you sleep.