Food Cw - Tumblr Posts
Ka’ak and Ma’mol are Palestinian cookies stuffed with date paste or nuts, and are served with tea or coffee. The cookies are popular at Eid, Christmas and other holidays. [Abdelhakim Abu Riash/Al Jazeera]
Brown butter lemon thyme pasta with cremini mushrooms, tinned mussels and their broth, black pepper, and parmesan cheese
it’s been cloudy and gloomy here for a couple days
i made a fresh loaf of banana bread
eating the same thing every day is so fun (almond butter maple oats, blueberry yogurt, maple syrup, blueberries, side of coffee)
Flying Dutchman macaroni recipe
I'm not gonna lie, this is a bad one. It is cursed, it is massive, it will leave you sweating, gasping and hoping for it to never happen again, but still being drawn to its mysterious aura. Behold, my creation and my forbidden love.
It's as bad as it looks. This is the shit to make if you need a quick fill that will last you a whole day - you can make this as a breakfast, unload a truck of bricks, have a break for tea and biscuits, unload a second truck, and be a bit peckish in the evening. Here's a breakdown of this thing's nutritional value:
1. carbs - yes
2. fats - you can make it drip or dry
3. protein - hELLA
If you're like meatstuffs - this is for you. So here's a recipe for
Flying Dutchman macaroni
(because pirates are gay)
(good for them)
This requires some time to prepare, but you can prepare ingredients in bulk for use later. There are three parts to this dish: the macaroni, the meat and the curse.
The macaroni is simple - anything fits, boil in salted water for as long as the packaging says. Can be enjoyed separately, some freaks even dip them in honey or nutella. I'm not joking.
The meat is where the interesting stuff hides. The simple way is the best - oil the pan, dump and mix some minced meat, chopped onion and tomato sauce, fry and stir until just standing near the pan makes you cry. Salt and season with whatever tickles your pickle. Choose a meat to your preference, I have no opportunity to check any vegan meats unfortunately. You can also add vegetables per your own taste - tomatoes, sweet peppers, carrots all work well.
The curse is in the making - oil or butter the pan, dump a small serving of macaroni, add the meat (2 parts meat to 3 parts macaroni works best for me, but depends on added vegetables and personal taste), add two fresh eggs, mix and stir until done. The eggs are the gamemaker that makes it all work and can be customized to taste. If you want it juicy and soft - wait until egg has coated the whole thing and becomes slightly opaque. Otherwise - fry until it's nice and chunky. You can enhance the curse by adding whatever comes to your mind - soft cheese before the egg, more tomato sauce after egg is done, parmesan on the prepared dish. The more the merrier. The whole thing goes down smooth with sour milk. Enjoy and may the sea have mercy on our soul.
I'm feeling snackish and we have a pack of kinda spoiled yogurt in the fridge, which means it's time to make and rate
My momma's pancake recipe
Actually, it's a crêpe, but it doesn't roll off the tongue as nicely as pancakes. Also, I like them thick, so pancakes it is. This variation is more commonly known as* *blini (singular - blin, rus. блины [blʲi'n[ɨ]]) (good luck with the phonetics on this one), or as we call them in Ukraine - mlyntsi (singular - mlynets, ukr. млинці [mlɪn'tsʲi]) (same root as mlyn (ukr. млин [mlɪn]) - the windmill, cause that's where you get the flour for them). There is also an absolutely delightful name in western, more poland-influenced territories - plyatski (singular - plyatsok, ukr. пляцки ['plʲɑ:.tskɪ]), which is just so pleasant. Like, yeah, they do the plap and the plyap and the plop! You were so right for this, West Ukraine! Anyway, onto the recipe.
For me, this recipe is a way to get rid of whatever spoiled milk produce we have. First, take an egg beat it with some sugar, about two to three tablespoons. Then add whatever spoiled milkstuffs you have (it's usually some old yogurt for me) (you can skip this step tho) and approximately the same amount of flour. It will serve you well to sieve all the flour you add into the batter. Add up to half a liter (or two glasses) of milk and start mixing in more and more flour until the batter becomes thick like cream. Don't overdo the flour, lest you end up with sourdough. I like to test my batter by simply making a test pancake, and adding more milk or flour if needed. There is even a saying for this - первый блин комом, or the first blin is always a lump, as in it's okay to fail on your first try.
After you prepare the batter, heat a dry pan (can be oiled! but only if you know what you're doing!) on low to medium heat (medium heat for extra thin ones, low heat for extra thiccc), and lay and spread the batter on in a thin layer (anywhere from paper thin to finger and a half).
The thinner edges will be prepared pretty much instantly, so you can start lifting them up to prepare for the flip. In my experience, the bottom is perfectly prepared if it's practically any color darker than the original batter, but after the upper part is never going to be fully colored, unless you flip it when the top is still liquid, which is problematic. Illustrated - the flip and the dip:
Also, another photo of a lightly done blin from the bottom:
If you feel the process in your heart - your blini will be soft and delicious, with the crust appearing only where and when you want it.
Onto the review part: this is an incredibly versatile food, which - duh, it's a variation of simple bread. You can remove the sugar to make it more neutral, or add different jams to the batter to make it sweeter. You can roll it, fold it like an envelope, add whatever toppings you can think of, and it's not greasy - so you can easily imagine a sandwich and make it a reality.
They don't keep well for too long - in two days they are gonna dry up, in three - slowly let out the remainders of moisture and oil, and start smelling sour. I prefer to make a small batch, eat some immediately and keep some for breakfast or lunch.
On accessibility - I didn't try any flour other than fine wheat flour, so if you try something else - tell me, I'm curious. As said above - sugar is optional. Egg is purely to bind stuff better - just use more flour if omitted. I use lactose-free milk every time - it doesn't affect anything much. If you use water instead of milk - that's just georgian or armenian flatbread, depending on the thickness.
Final rating - best bread ever.