Captain John Paul Jones - Tumblr Posts

5 months ago

ah fuck man can I have some of that uhmmm

*checks notes*

fried manumission abolitionist

fried bastard orphan

fried obnoxious and disliked congressman

fried baronussy wussy

fried crossdressing sailor

fried trans French diplomat

fried Philadelphia lawyer and certified twink

fried terrible queen

fried slave owning redhead

fried mini french aristocrat

fried VERY mini former president

fried tired commander-in-chief

fried fairly normal president

Aw cool, thanks dawg.

hey man i took your blorbo and scrambled him in a bowl. yeah he's on the pan now. yeag i added some seasoning. yeah im eating him now


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5 months ago

Washington: you see, these are my oldest children, THE MAJOR GENERALS!!! I love em.

Major generals: hiii!!!

Washington: these are the middle children, the AIDES-DE-CAMP!!! YAY!!! They slay, I guess.

Aides: HENLOOOO

Washington: and those…uh…

*Chanting in the distance*

Washington: *sigh* that's the navy.

JPJ: TELL ME WHYYYYY

Navy himbos: AINTTTT NOTHIN BUT A HEARTACHEEEE

JPJ: SWEEEET CAROLINE

Navy Himbos: BA BA BA

Washington: *whispers* Look, I only know them during work hours and major battles.


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