Apartment Life - Tumblr Posts

Overheard through our shared walls

• feels like I just slapped an orange *laughter*

• you mean to tell me a shrimp fried this chicken?? …wait no that’s not- *trails off*

• I TOLD you those stairs ain’t for playin on, now get in the car, gotta go to the ER before my sister gets here

• CANTALOUPE!!!

• *insidious laughter*

• *Female voice* suck my dick dude

I am genuinely terrified of our neighbors while simultaneously desperate to make friends with them

Elevator

I woke up to an email from my apartment building stating all 3 of the elevators were down.

I mean fine but as I read the email, they somehow got flooded?? HOW did they get flooded? HOW DID ALL 3 GET FLOODED. I have so many questions and no answers

My neighbors are keeping me awake with their partying and I think they're popping fireworks. It's obvious security doesn't care during summer months at my apartment but then again they never cared.

hey, neighbor.

dear neighbor of an unknown apartment on the 3rd floor or above or below it:

i completely respect your decision to watch pornography, really, i do. what you do on your free time is none of my business. what i don't respect is the fact that you think that blasting it very loudly at all times of the day will benefit either you or anyone else who can hear it through the walls, ceilings, or floors. i have no idea how to communicate with you because i have no idea in which apartment you live and i don't feel like posting public notices on the walls and elevators nor do i feel like telling management and having them blast something equally embarrassing. so please, if you have any way of magically receiving my request, turn down the noise. 

sincerely, your rather disgruntled fellow apartment resident

p.s. i realize you will probably never read this. that is fine. i am blowing off steam because i don't know how else to resolve this.