911 Spoilers - Tumblr Posts

everybody just moody af this episode, that’s it that’s the plot

hen knowing buck and understanding him like a big sister would... don't touch me i'm crying

do u think Ravi misses b shift

imagine this man been under anesthesia the whole time and he’s gonna come out of it in a whole different hospital

STOP. HE'S SUFFERING

i mean maybe the man is just really emotional about the baseball season finally starting

eddie diaz lookin like that montage from spongebob

was just talking to my sister abt this but like. self harm as a form of addiction and the way that buck is falling back on old toxic behaviour as a coping mechanism bc it's the only thing that actually makes him feel good for even a moment when the rest of his life is falling apart, so he chases that high regardless of how destructive it actually is to him. and he'll feel like shit afterwards, bc none of it is an actual solution to any of his problems, but he'll keep doing it because at least it's something, and that's better than just sitting in his misery

So, let's talk about cheating. That is the fandom's hot topic right now, isn't it? I'm going to address this once and then never again, so if you're going rant, or send hate, or bitch to me about how much you hate this storyline, do it now, because this is the first and only time I will be opening this topic as a point of discourse rather than a narrative development in Buck's story.

To begin: I am not without sympathy for the people who have been cheated on or have witnessed the damaging effects of cheating and have clung to/projected on Buck over the years, only to have him cheat on Taylor. I mean that genuinely. Having to reconcile your love for this character with the feelings of hurt/betrayal you carry from someone else's actions is a very shitty thing and I'm sorry you are in this position.

Having said that, some of you guys are letting real life cloud your perception of this fictional storyline to a dangerous and/or disconcerting degree, and I just... do not understand that at all. Since the clip dropped yesterday, I have seen so many bizarre, nonfactual, and interesting takes about Buck cheating (some of them dropped directly into my inbox!) so I'm going to bullet point them and be done with it:

1) Buck cheating is bad writing: No, it is not! Just the opposite, actually. Buck cheating on Taylor with Lucy is objectively brilliant writing in several different ways:

a) Buck cheating ties in Buck's past character traits with his present. This is a good thing. Often as time goes on, writers develop their characters so much that looking at the character from pilot to end feels like viewing two completely different characters. Character development is good, and is something every writer should strive for, but not when it transforms the character unrecognizably. Buck reverting to old tactics and mindsets calls back to previous behavior and coping mechanisms and demonstrates the writers' continued grasp on and understanding of this character.

b) Buck cheating demonstrates the non-linear nature of healing. Oftentimes, TV shows view healing as a conclusion rather than a point in someone's journey. They will shape a big storyline around this character finally finding some peace of mind after episodes of struggle and top it off with a nice, pretty, emotional finale, but true healing is not like that. Some days you heal 10%. Some days you heal 100%. Some days you think you have healed 90% when you haven't healed at all. Some months you cruise at a steady 100% before you drop like a rock and hit 0%. And that's just the way life is. Healing is painful and messy. Sometimes you do it right, and sometimes you do it very, very wrong, but none of it is wasted and all of it aids your personal journey. 9-1-1 views healing as points in Buck's personal journey rather than a finale; right now, his healing is at a 0% but it will not stay there. Which is, frankly, more than can be said for a lot of people who land at 0% and decide not to get back up again.

2) Buck cheating is lazy writing: No, it is not! Actually, Hen's cheating storyline was comparatively far lazier because there was no reason for it except than to create some drama between the happy lesbians. Hen cheating served no real narrative or character purpose, and though the storyline has since been revisited in the years since 9-1-1 has found their rhythm and given some sort of character purpose, the initial storyline was weak and flat, the writers basically saying, "we don't know what else to do with you so uhh let's have Hen kiss her ex-girlfriend!" What we are seeing with Buck is not that.

Buck's spiral is the culmination of months of self-editing, repression, and constant retriggering. Buck has a history of self-harm and suicidal ideation, and is untethered and adrift without any of his anchors in place (anchors being, not just Eddie and Maddie personally, but the feeling of "normalcy" he has built around their (and Chimney's) presence). Guys. He witnessed the man he loves get shot right in front of him. He had that man's blood in his mouth, and then had to clean it off of him in a hospital bathroom, so he could immediately comfort his son and pretend everything is normal. Buck is still pretending. We are not just witnessing Season 1 Buck; in fact, I would argue that this is Buck pre-Season 1, actually. This is Buck at the height of his self-destruction; the same Buck who would speed down the street on a motorcycle, or throw himself in harm's way just to get his parents to look at him. This is a version of Buck we have seen glimpses of but have never really seen. There is nothing lazy about this writing.

3) Buck wouldn't cheat/Buck cheating is character assassination: Yes, he would, while he is in the midst of a severe mental health crisis and no, it is not. Do you guys even stop and think about why people cheat? I know it's easier to believe that cheaters are irredeemably bad and don't deserve any kind of redemption, or that all cheaters cheat because they're terrible and broken inside, but life is rarely that clean-cut. Sometimes cheaters cheat because there is a breakdown in the relationship, either sexually or emotionally. People who are happy in their relationships do not cheat because they are being emotionally and sexually fulfilled. People who are committed to their relationships do not cheat because they are emotionally and sexually invested in that partnership. It is absolutely true that cheating is never the other person's fault, but it is also true that the joint relationship is the problem when people who do not usually cheat commit acts of infidelity. Buck's feelings of unfulfillment are the root cause of his cheating on Taylor, and while he could have gone about the situation differently (coming clean, rather than panicking and asking her to move in with him (another trauma response, by the way), neither his feelings nor the way he went about fulfilling himself make him an inherently bad person.

4) Poor mental health isn't an "excuse" for cheating: Mmmm. Now, see, the problem with this one is that so many of you have gotten used to the idea of aesthetically pleasing mental illness. Even if you say you haven't, you have. Aesthetic mental health is smudgy eyeliner and drinking hard liquor straight from the bottle. It is messy rooms and spilled pillbottles with little white pills arranged artfully on a blank surface; it is ghosting your friends only to follow up with a cheeky little text months later and have everything go back to normal.

That is not mental illness. That is Euphoria.

Mental illness, especially when compounded with severe trauma (childhood or otherwise) is a transformation. You are not yourself when you are in a bad mental health space. And when you are in the throes of a severe downward spiral, sometimes you hurt people, physically and emotionally. Sometimes you even do it on purpose. Does that make it right? No! Should you still suffer the consequences for the things you do when you are not okay? Absolutely! But acknowledging that severe mental illness is a contributor to Buck's poor decision making is not making an "excuse" out of mental illness, holy fucking shit. It is recognizing the fact that mental illness transforms you into an alternate version of yourself that you would not be if you were mentally well.

Look. I get it, cheating is a sensitive topic and I've had my own experiences with it. But the moral high ground in this fandom that prevents people from recognizing anything other than "cheating = bad" is so disturbing and annoying. Truly, what does it say about the world when characters are more nuanced than the actual people who watch them on TV? I think it was @yramesoruniverse who said that 9-1-1 is an adult show that tells adult stories about growth, love, and healing, and that is exactly what we are witnessing here. Adulthood -- adult trauma, adult pain, adult growth -- is not clean-cut, feel good, or pretty. It just is, and you either persevere through the good and bad of it, or let it take you down.

And to be clear, since I think a lot of people could do with the reminder: this is all fictional. No matter how hard you project your pain, trauma, or consciousness onto a character, your projection does not suddenly make them real. Buck is not real. Lucy is not real. Taylor is not real, and no one is actually being hurt here. They are little stick figures that do a pre-orchestrated dance on our TV screens every week, and then go away once we turn the TV off. I know we all love, or are at least invested in this show, but if the line between fiction and reality is so distorted for you that you cannot see the reason behind the narrative choice, or are legitimately angry with a character, writer, or actor (especially to the point of effecting you mentally/emotionally), then perhaps some time away from the show would do you good.

buck said

if i had a nickel for every time evan buckley got emotionally overattached to an old person who taught him a life lesson and then immediately died,

i’ve only just seen the new episode but let me say athena’s reactions to being treated by the police the way she/the police treat everyone else all the time is Delicious! like, not that i want athena in this situation or that she deserves it or whatever, but that i think it will be important in her reassessing her own devotion & her biased worldview regarding her occupation

anyway something something him going to hen of all people who struggled with the reality of what foster care actually meant, because it sounded like something else on paper. she’s not telling him not to do it she’s telling him to consider the fine print, to actually think about the emotional implications of the situation instead of agreeing bc it seems like the right thing or makes you feel good about what you’re doing. weigh the pros and cons. not a ‘no’, but a ‘consider’. and i don’t think buck really did weigh the difference between this is how i can put my body to use vs this is an emotionally fulfilling task, but like, that’s the point! hen and buck are v similar in the idea, if different in their methodology, of where you land on duty vs self and how much of you needs to be stretched thin before you feel worthy or capable of being where and who you are.

is Hoover gonna be the station dog

have the buckley parents been bodysnatched

Who are you?

I'd just like to add

Incorrect buddie quotes: 3/?

inspired by this post

My favorite trope:

Found Famiy

"So show me family (Hey!)

All the blood that I will bleed (Ho!)

I don't know where I belong (Hey!)

I don't know where I went wrong (Ho!)

But I can write a song"

"I belong with you, you belong with me

You're my sweetheart

I belong with you, you belong with me

You're my sweetheart"

the kitchen scene wouldn’t stop making me think of the one meme so

Leroy Jethro Gibbs, Aaron Hotchner, Donald Cragen, Robert "Bobby" Nash are all the same character

Older man/father figure/tragic past/brooding