Sammy Interview

Sammy Interview

Before we get started, do you mind introducing yourself and telling a bit about yourself? 

My name is Sammy. I’m 34 years old, a college graduate with a background in cultural anthropology as well as women, gender, and sexuality studies. I’m particularly interested in queer and feminist methodologies. I live with my partner of some 15 years, who is also a fanfiction writer.

Q1: So, you told me that you’ve been writing fan fiction for 20+ years which is awesome! How did it all get started and what kind of fan fiction have you written in that time?

A1:  Like a lot of fangirls of my generation, anime was my introduction to fanfiction.  I grew up watching Sailor Moon when it first aired on American network television. It was love at first sight. There was nothing else like it on TV. At my local Blockbuster I discovered anime. It wasn’t as readily available then as it is now. Because the english dubs were so limited I ended up watching the same OVA rentals over and over - Ranma ½, RG Veda, Vampire Princess Miyu. First I wrote stories in my head, then I started writing them down. When I recieved my own computer and constant access to the internet, I went searching for fansites. Secreted behind unassuming links I found small clutches of fanfiction. This was before fanfiction.net first took off, and An Archive of Our Own was well over a decade away. Fansites had webrings, which took me to the next fansite, and so on.  It really was a matter of finding the right webring for a given show and following the thread.

I began with writing Sailor Moon fanfiction, and as Cartoon Network’s late night block of programming (Toonami) expanded, the more I wrote. Gundam Wing fandom introduced me to shipping and it blew my mind.

I moved away from anime when the Harry Potter movies happened. A lot of us made the transition to book and movie based fandoms when someone discovered Harry/Draco. After that I found DC comics, and then became very active in the Star Trek reboot fandom. I’ve written for Stargate: Atlantis, BBC Sherlock and Hannibal and so, so many other shows/books/video games. I’ve been an active participant in Yuletide, which is an anonymous holiday fanfic exchange, and multiple Big Bangs -another fanfic/fanart exchange- as well as a kinkmeme prompt filler for years.

Q2: What pushed you to begin sharing your fan fiction?

A2: The mailing lists. In the early days of fandom private yahoo groups and message boards were the main venue for posting and reading fanfiction. Most mailing lists were fandom based and created for specific content - like Gundam Wing Slash, GundamWingGEN and CRACKSHIP. These became high volume, tight knit communities. It wasn’t unusual to have your mail box refreshing on the left side of the monitor, while you chatted with members on AIM on the right side. There was a lot of encouragement, experimentation, and collaboration. You posted your fanfiction to the list, or board, and people cheered. It was all so exciting.  It’s hard to describe now how close we all were, and just how much fellow-feeling fueled hundreds of emails a day. This was my online family, my community. I didn’t need a push or moment of courage to post my early fanfiction - I was delighted to share, invited to share. It was an electrifying thing to be part of.

Q3: Were you scared to post it online?

A3: Not at all. I didn’t need to be scared - none of us did. No one outside these early lists and boards knew what we were doing. I really can’t emphasize enough how guarded the early fanfiction community was. We were incredibly insulated. Our families didn’t know, our teachers and co-workers were oblivious, popular culture wasn’t shitting on fanfiction writers because it didn’t know we were writing. I wasn’t scared to press ‘send’, but it did feel dangerous, a little rebellious. There was a sense of getting away with something.

Q4: Has writing fan fiction taught you anything? About writing? Reading? Something else?

A4: On a basic level, fanfiction taught me how to write. Structure, pace, dialogue - I was taught those things in a classroom, but I learned them by writing fanfiction. We all taught ourselves to write by writing for each other. We created an entire literary movement without an MA in literature, or a structured pedagogy. Fanfiction writers generated new narrative traditions, like the Five Things + 1 format (a breakaway from the three-act story), Hurt/Comfort, and a language of tagging that defies classical genre rules - all because we were messing around.

Writing fanfiction has taught me the value of questioning western literary rules and conventions, that writing for myself and my own pleasure is valid.  It’s also taught me that I don’t like to write alone. One of the things that makes fanfiction so special for me is that so much of it happens in conversation with other writers and readers. My best writing experiences have been in simpatico with total strangers, on AIM, in livejournal comment threads, gchat.  I’m not writing “original fiction” because I lack imagination; it’s just too lonely.

Q5: Do you ever want to be published in a professional capacity one day?

A5: I do, though I feel like this is a bit of a fraught subject for fanfiction writers.  There’s an compulsion to say yes, of course I plan to publish one day, as if that end goal legitimates the fanfiction I write. I don’t want to contribute to the idea of fanfiction as a lesser form of literature- a stepping stone to Real Writing - but yes. I started writing creative nonfiction in community college.  That writing comes from a very different place than fanfiction. It satisfies another hunger.

Q6: How you feel about the stigma surrounding fan fiction and fan fiction writers? Or, do you not feel any stigma at all?

A6: I think the stigma towards fanfiction is pushback from multiple sociological and institutional sources.

In the beginning we had the sense that fanfiction - slash fanfiction - wasn’t something to bring up outside of those digital spaces we made for ourselves. We knew it would be considered an auteur kink at best, or downright perverted plagiarism at worst (I think this is largely still the case). Before the community found the language to discuss slash and fanfiction as transformative works - as deconstructions of conventional media, gender roles, and sexuality - there was an ethos of compartmentalization to the whole thing.

Q7: Do you think that stigma is warranted? (Whether or not you have personally experience it?)

A7: No.

I touched on this earlier, but I believe the stigma and hostility towards fanfiction is firmly rooted in gender and non-normative sexuality. The writing we do is generally characterized as a feminine endeavour, which immediately marks it as inferior to a literary canon that values the masculine so highly. The perception that fanfiction is a plagiarism of male authored source material makes it all the more egregious.

Equally as foundational, is the reduction of fanfiction to gay porn written by straight cis women for straight cis women - fanfiction is not only shit writing, it’s perverted and weird.

I’ve never been ashamed of the fanfiction I write, or read. Embarrassed maybe, of those first earnest attempts at writing. But fanfiction does not have a monopoly on bad writing. I can just as easily find the same trash in Barnes & Noble. So, quality is not and never has been a valid criticism.

Q8: What’s your favorite piece of fan fiction you’ve ever written? Why?

A8: A gen fic I wrote for Star Trek (AOS). I’m a leisurely writer, and stories don’t just hit me whole and complete in one go. But this one did. It took three hours to write and I didn’t have to think about where I was going after finishing a paragraph, the next was already there, I just had to type it out. It’s never come that easy before or since. It’s not my most popular piece of fanfiction, but I can go back and read it and not feel like I need to change anything.

Q10: Do you write outside of fan fiction?

A10: I do - until recently I was writing up lesson plans for classes I was co-facilitating. Generally, when I’m not writing fanfiction I’m working on creative non-fiction. I use the frame of gender analysis and sexuality studies (among others) to write about my life.

Q11: What site do you prefer to write and post your fan fiction on?

A11: An Archive of Our Own (AO3). The tagging system is superior and the site is far more user friendly than ff.net, which is an absolute dumpster fire.  

Q12: What’s something you want people outside the fan fiction community to know about the fan fiction community?

We’re not a monolith. Teenage girls are the cultural face of fanfiction, but so many of us are in our 30s and 40s, old fandom queens from those first private mailing lists, boards, and LiveJournal accounts. We have soul sucking jobs. We have degrees in STEM. We teach college, have kids and debt, and friendships that have lasted decades.. We are not, and never have been a homogenous group of straight cis women. Asexuality and gender fluidity abounds. Plenty of us experience disability and chronic illness.  And we aren’t a small group of weirdos obsessed with Johnlock. We’re an enormous and diverse group of weirdos who have created a literary movement.

risk it — jjk | masterlist.

↠ fic type: social media au, exes to lovers

↠ main pairing: tattoo artist!jungkook x salon owner!reader

↠ side ships: namjin, vmin (fwb), hoseok x makeup artist!oc

↠ genre: heavy angst

↠ warnings: explicit language, mature themes, smut, light pining, jealousy, alcohol usage, light violence

↠ status: ongoing

SERIES SUMMARY:

✧ a drunken text ends with you wrapped up in the arms of your ex-boyfriend. aka the man that you dumped two years prior, after he refused to marry you. suddenly, all of the feelings that you’d seemingly had buried come rushing back up to the surface, and you’re not sure how long you can ignore them.

a/n: if you’d like to be added to the tag list, send me an ask!

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Marili Cruz Interview

Hello Marili! Thank you for agreeing to be interviewed. To start off, why don’t you start off by telling us a bit about yourself!

Marili: Hi guys, my online name is Marili Cruz, I'm 18 years old and from Texas. I like reading, drawing, and writing for past times and I'm honored to be interviewed. I currently have about 12+ books written based on fanfiction on the group called BTS. I'm Jin biased and am pleased to meet you guys. Hopefully you'll enjoy this and if you want to read some of my works please follow me or check out my works on Wattpad @Marili_Cruz. Thank you for this great honor!!

You’re welcome! Now, onto the questions!

Q1: What kind of fan fiction do you write/ have you written?

A1: Well, currently I write BTS fanfictions (a k-pop group for those who might not know) but some time in the future I would like to do more groups such as ACE, Day6 , Monsta X and more. I write a lot of Drama RomCom (romance comedy) and fluff but on occasion bengure further. (Smut)

Q2: What made you start writing fan fiction?

A2: Well, I've always had a very interesting imagination and I would tell my younger sisters stories to help them sleep. I guess once I found out about BTS my imagination took hold and it began to spread. A little nudge from a ex best friend also helped me gain the confidence to write my dreams and imagination into an actual book of sorts.

Q3: Were you scared to begin posting it online?

A3: Yes of course, who isn't. Whether my work would be well received, negative and positive criticism, and even threats are the day to day life of some authors and I've come to experience some of it. Everything and anything that how's online will be judged, and I myself am very emotional so I get easily offended. But this has helped me grow as a person, be able to handle situations better, and be able to take opinions and ideas in a good way then being childish and taking things negatively, no matter how much they might hurt.

Q4: Has writing fan fiction taught you anything? About writing? Reading? Something else?

A4: It’s taught me not to take things with a great assault, and to mature. It's helped me with my grammar and spelling and helped me improve with my essays that I write at school. I write college level essays and improve my writing day by day. It also helped me gain friendships and inspire other authors and readers.

Q5: Do you ever want to be published in a professional capacity one day?

A5: I don't think I have that ability just yet, but if I someday come to be able to create a good plot and characters that can dance on the page just as well as those of the author's that I enjoy, then probably I would like to attempt and make a book of my own on the professional level.

Q6: How you feel about the stigma surrounding fan fiction and fan fiction writers? Or, do you not feel any stigma at all?

A6: I've seen it. I've felt it. Judgment, being looked down upon. Disgust. I feel it, but if my intentions are not harmful, and if I put my purest of meaning behind them, then what's the problem? Only those who accept this and are able to have a blind eye to the judgment and criticism by those who don't understand what fanfiction is, we can continue on peacefully.

Q7: Do you think that stigma is warranted? (Whether or not you have personally experience it?)

A7: I mean I see why they have such stigma. Some fanfiction is simply disgusting and has some of the most ill mannered intentions behind it. Incest, glorified depression, rape, or bullying are just some of the examples that make me absolutely uncomfortable and offended. Though people have their own opinion on stuff, these are some topics that I believe give a bad rep to those of us writing fan fiction. So yes, they are somewhat justified but shouldn't be the only thing people see when talking or mentioning it.

Q8: What’s your favorite piece of fan fiction you’ve ever written? Why?

A8: Well, there's two I like. Broken Hearts (which was my first ever work), and Invisible Girl which is my second official work (not including the imagines books because those are mostly request and short.

These two books mean a lot to me. Broken Hearts is a slice of life drama that contains a lot of character development in the first volume, but that will have a lot of angst in the second. I want to give life to topics that in fanfiction are often glorified or misinterpreted and want to help readers gain an understanding behind people who suffer or have gone through these conditions minds. Depression for an extrovert, suicide,  self harm, divorce, infidelity, rape and adoption. I want to bring light and justice to these topics which are often use in fanfictions by authors who have no idea what it's like and either glorify it or stretch out the actual truths behind it. I want to speak what's actually behind this pain and clearing the name to those victim of these such hanes crimes and pains.

Q9: What’s something you’ve never been asked but want to be?

A9: Hmmmm….. That's hard.

I've never really thought about it to be completely honest, but if someone were to ask me something…. I'd want them to ask mostly questions about my book Broken Hearts. Whether it be about the plot, or the characters individually, I'd love to hear people a thoughts and questions on the book and you know, hear their theories on it.

Q10: Do you write outside of fan fiction?

A10: I do a lot of school essays, but I usually draw a lot when I'm not writing. And if I do write it's either fanfiction or for school essays. Since I'm a senior in high school taking college courses, it becomes hectic when all the college classes assign an essay on the same day or want it turned in at the same time.

Q11: What site you (mainly) use to write fan fiction?

A11: Wattpad. I have two accounts: @JinKoalaOppa where I barely upload much and @Marili_Cruz which seems to be my main account. I tried Fanfiction.net but it didn't have the appeal that Wattpad had with the images and videos that can be included.

Q12: Why do you write fan fiction?

A12: I write to express myself, to see others smile and succeed. I use fan fiction to get me through my day when I sad and I write when I want to distress. Sometimes I write to inspire change, to comfort those who need to be comforted, or to bring people to tears so that they can get rid of pent up anger.

I write to cheer people on, to bring people to life and make them closer to one another. That's why I write.

Thank you Marili for taking the time to be interviewed today! I’m glad to call you a friend within the fan fiction community and I wish you all the luck with your writing! To find Marili’s work follow the link above or here: https://www.wattpad.com/user/Marili_Cruz. 

If you are interested in being interviewed, please don’t hesitate to reach out. :)

pingo1387 Interview

ABefore we get started with the questions, would you mind introducing yourself and telling us just a little about yourself?

Sure! I write under pingo1387 online on FanFiction.net, Archive of Our Own, and Tumblr. Fanfiction was the first kind of writing I posted in a public internet space, and I’ve been posting it since for about six or seven years fairly regularly.

Q1: What kind of fan fiction do you write/ have you written?

A1: All sorts of genres. I’ve written long high school AUs, tragic romances, fairy tale-based stories, and plenty of adventure. Right now I’m in the middle of writing mostly romances with a few friendship-themed adventures and an AU set in 20th-century America.

Q2: What made you start writing fan fiction?

A2: I started writing in 9th grade, and the main reason I wrote was because I had an idea for a crossover fanfic that I wanted to make a comic out of, but I couldn’t draw to save my life (I still can’t). I’d always had a pretty good grasp on grammar and read a lot, so I decided I’d write a fanfic about it instead and make a comic later (I never did).

Q3: Were you scared to begin posting it online?

A3: I sure was. Part of the fear came from Fanfiction.net’s comment system being called “reviews,” which made me think people would be posting paragraphs of criticisms and critiques, since the only kind of review I was familiar with was newspaper columns rating new films and novels. I was pleasantly surprised when this not only was not the case, but that people actually liked the story!

Q4: Has writing fan fiction taught you anything? About writing? Reading? Something else?

A4: Writing fanfic has definitely helped me improve my writing skills, simply because I wrote so frequently and reread my own stories, figuring out what worked and what didn’t. It also taught me to be more patient when waiting for updates from other authors, now that I knew how difficult it was to upload more than once every few weeks!

Q5: Do you ever want to be published in a professional capacity one day?

A5: Absolutely. I have some original stories in mind, and I’d love to make a living off of them while seeing other people enjoy them.

Q6: How you feel about the stigma surrounding fan fiction and fan fiction writers? Or, do you not feel any stigma at all?

A6: I feel like there is some stigma regarding what fanfiction is and what its writers are like—that it’s not real writing, that it’s all porn, and that it’s generally terrible. Fanfic and its writers get a bad rap.

Q7: Do you think that stigma is warranted? (Whether or not you have personally experience it?)

A7: It’s absolutely unwarranted. I believe if you look up statistics, you’ll find that most fanfic isn’t explicitly sexual, and of course there is plenty of bad fanfic out there, but there’s plenty of bad published writing, too, and a lot of fanfic writers are not professional and/or just starting out as writers. Of course there’s going to be bad writing; you can say that about almost any site with writing, fanfic or not, on the internet.

As for it being “real writing,” first off, what defines real writing? Does it have to be professionally published, hit a bestseller list, win a Hugo award? Does it need to have a blockbuster film based on it? Does it need to be in classical Greek, written by a scholar only two people in the world have heard of?

Guess what? Even if you say yes to any of those, there’s a lot more fanfic in the world than you might realize. Paradise Lost is essentially fanfiction of the Book of Genesis from the Bible. Medieval painters in Italy often painted scenes from the Bible, making many famous paintings fanart. Dante’s Inferno is a self-insert, one of the most ridiculed kinds of fanfic, into the Catholic afterlife, where he meets many famous and infamous figures (not unlike a so-called “Mary-Sue” self-insert who gets to meet her favorite characters all in the span of two chapters). Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is a horror fanfic of Pride and Prejudice. I could go on, but you get the idea. There are so few truly original ideas simply because everything has been done, and fanfic just takes recycling ideas to the next step.

Q8:  What’s your favorite piece of fan fiction you’ve ever written? Why?

A8: Currently my favorite piece is a one-shot called “Swallow Your Soul,” a One Piece AU fanfic with the premise that a mysterious affliction is negatively affecting people with powers. My guilty pleasure favorite is a Hetalia high school fanfic, spanning three long stories and written over the course of three or four years.

Q9:  What’s something you’ve never been asked but want to be?

A9: For various stories, I’d love to be asked how I came up with certain aspects, where an idea came from, or for details on a worldbuilding thing I never had the chance to fully elaborate on in the story. I love rambling about those sorts of things, and if any one of the answers is that it’s a reference/homage to something, then I’d jump at the chance to talk about where it came from, because it’s probably something favorite of mine.

Q10: Do you write outside of fan fiction?

A10: A little bit, yes. At the moment, schoolwork and fanfic keep me occupied, but I’m trying to put together characters and plots for original stories that I hope to sell one day. One is a collection of connected short stories, and the other is a YA fantasy-style adventure.

Q11: What site you (mainly) use to write fan fiction?

A11: I’ve been on Fanfiction.net for my entire fanfic writing career. I occasionally post one-shots or drabbles on Tumblr in response to events or requests, and I’m working on rewriting my favorite Fanfiction.net stories to post on AO3, as well as planning to post any new stories on both FFN and AO3.

Q12: Why do you write fan fiction?

A12: It’s still the best medium for me to get my ideas out into the world. It’s easier for me to use characters I’m familiar with for stories, even if the settings are unfamiliar, and though I’m developing my own characters, I don’t know them well enough to write them in anything outside the main story I’m planning for them. It’s very fun to play with the characters I know and put them in new situations, and writing stories several thousand words long over and over is great practice for when I finally submit something to be professionally published.

Find pingo1387 on Tumblr, FanFiction.net, and Archive of Our Own.

Not So Silent Night

Genre: Quarantine Romance, slight Enemies To Lovers, Neighbors AU, Fluff, slight Angst

Pairing: Namjoon/ Reader

Warnings: none

Synopsis: Namjoon hadn’t intended to spend much time in his tiny apartment. And then a pandemic broke out. Now he’s stuck dealing with his noisy neighbor, you.

✦✧✦✧

Namjoon thought he was in the clear that Wednesday night. He'd heard the opening and closing of your front door, the clink of your keys in the lock, and the rustle of the groceries in your arms. He knew it was your Friday, which meant you'd usually turn on music while you cleaned your tiny apartment, or a play a movie on full blast while you devoured an entire pizza yourself.

It was nearly 9 pm and he hadn't heard a peep from you, not even the true crime podcast you sometimes put on. Namjoon, unlike you, had worked from home for months now. Even though most of his time at work was spent in his private studio, he had nearly an identical set up in his apartment.

He was still working, albeit, not on the songs he produced for other artists, but on his own. He'd just started editing the melody when heard the familiar bass chords of "What Makes You Beautiful". It was your favorite song to torture him with. Namjoon had nothing against the British boyband you seemed to love so much, that was until you started them playing them loudly at odd hours.

Namjoon sighed, pausing his work and rubbing his temples. He really needed to save up for a good pair of noise canceling headphones, although he wouldn't find it surprising if you somehow managed to invade his eardrums right away.

He tried to continue working, turning his headphones all the way up. Yet, all he could focus on was the way he heard the familiar bass line restart when the song ended.

Namjoon groaned and threw his headphones onto his desk. He'd only moved into this tiny apartment because the rent was cheap and he hadn't intended to spend much time in it. Then, a pandemic hit and suddenly, Namjoon was confined to four menacing white walls with the only company being his noisy neighbor, you.

He waited a half hour before he walked down the stairs to your apartment. Even though the city was under quarantine, the apartment building was snug and it was nearly impossible not to come into contact with each other. Securing his mask over his ear, he knocked on your door.

"Yes?" you asked, answering the door as if you'd been expecting him. You, too, had just finished looping the mask around your ear. It was a bright polka dot pattern that distracted Namjoon long enough that he managed to speak before noticing that your oversized T-shirt made it look like you weren't wearing shorts.

"Can you please keep it down, Y/N? It's the middle of the week for me and I have a Zoom call at 8 am tomorrow."

"That sounds like your problem," you said, leaving your door open as you tied the top of the trash bag you'd been getting ready to take out when Namjoon knocked.

A glint of annoyance passed over Namjoon's eyes and even from under your mask he could make out your familiar smirk from the way your eyebrows rose.

"Do you even own headphones?" he asked, crossing his arms. He didn't notice the way your eyes swept over his biceps and chest with his movement.

"They hurt my ears," you said, shrugging. Grabbing the trash bag by the tied top and heading back for your front door. "Now, be a doll and take this out for me? My legs hurt from work."

Namjoon looked at you with his eyes wide and mouth slightly agape. He didn't say anything as you shoved the bag into his hands.

"What? Why are looking at me like that?" you paused, dialing down your attitude for a moment. "Listen, if you do this, I'll turn it off so you can get your beauty sleep."

He watched as you reached up and pat his shoulder. Your nail polish was chipping and the gleam from your gold promise ring dulled. His eyes traced as your hand left the fabric of his T-shirt and came to the doorknob of your front door.

"Goodnight Namjoon," you said, shutting the door.

Namjoon stood in the hallway, his lips parted and a small breath. He scoffed as the familiar bassline blasted from your apartment.

✦✧✦✧

You'd had a long day. Work was keeping you at least an hour over every day and you felt your feet ache as slipped off your shoes. Even though you just wanted to fall into bed, you changed and washed your hands first, doing your best to feel clean before your skin hit the sheets. As a Pharmacy Technician, you were essential, and even if most of your job was counting pills and performing customer service, right now it was harder than ever.

With only ten hours until you had to be at work, you ordered food and eyed the laundry that was beginning to spill over the edge of the hamper like waves over a jetty. You sighed, taking out your phone and putting on music. You gathered up your clothes and laundry soap. Pocketing your keys and a handful of quarters dug out of the bottom of your purse, you made your way to the basement laundry room.

You let the music play. While you weren't particularly trying to get your tall neighbor's attention, or get on his nerves, like you usually were, you secretly hoped you'd get to catch a glimpse of his signature white T-shirt against his bronzed skin.

Loading your clothes into the shared washer, your phone began to ring and your boyfriend's face flashed across the screen. He was smiling widely in the picture, his hair swept back by the coastal breeze. At one point, it had been your favorite photo of him. Now, it just felt like a sweet apple that turned out to be poison.

You ignored the call and poured the detergent into the machine. Inserting the quarters, you heard footsteps coming down the stairs. You'd heard his feet on the stairs enough, that you recognized the soft one, two pattern as he made his way downstairs.

"I think the whole complex knows you're a fan of One Direction now," Namjoon said, coming into view. His hands were empty, having obviously come down purely because of your disruption.

"So be it," you said, starting the machine and glancing down as the music stopped and your phone rang again. You frowned as you rejected the call.

Namjoon noticed, his brow furrowing as his eyes glanced down at the phone in your hand. "You should've answered. At least you'd be less of a bother."

The two calls and the exhaustion weighed you down and felt yourself drifting below the surface. "I'm really not in the mood right now, Namjoon. Maybe tomorrow."

His sarcastic smile faltered. "If you don't want me to bother you, then don't play your music so loud." He crossed his arms over his chest, his muscles becoming more prominent as the fabric of his T-shirt stretched to accommodate the new position. You had no idea how he stayed so toned with the apartment gym shut down and such a small apartment.

"Maybe you should invest in earplugs."

"Maybe you should invest in headphones."

You scoffed and headed back upstairs, not feeling the banter. Your neck and shoulders were tense and you just wanted to finish your laundry and pass out for the night.

✦✧✦✧

Namjoon didn't think much of your sour mood. It was obvious that it extended beyond him since you rejected the phone call. He stood in the laundry room for a few moments and watched your laundry spin around in the washer.

He remembered back to the week before when you forced him to take out your garbage. A thought crossed his mind and he wondered if a good prank would lift your spirits.

With most coin operated washers, the doors locked right after the money is inserted and the washer starts. The ones at your apartment complex, however, had a loophole. Hitting the coin return button a few times, the quarters you'd entered fell into the coin return and the machine slowed to a stop.

Waiting a few moments to make sure you weren't coming back, he opened the door and took your wet clothes out of the dryer. He pocketed the coins, reminding himself to use them for your clothes later. Setting them on top of the washer, he rushed up to his apartment and grabbed his own laundry, starting it.

✦✧✦✧

The timer went off a half hour later. You were halfway through eating dinner but paused to go switch loads. You knew between your boyfriend' incessant calls and the hour long drying cycle, you were not going to get to sleep any time soon.

Shuffling down to the laundry room, you didn't even bother to throw on music this time. The heaviness in your eyes wouldn't be cured with Harry's sweet voice as usual.

Opening the door to the washer, your clothes were not there. A stroke of panic ran down your spine as your eyes darted across the row of washers, wondering if you had gone to the wrong one. All the other doors were open. You felt a stirring in your stomach as your mind raced with what to do.

"Lose something?"

You turned to see Namjoon coming down the stairs, carrying a laundry basket full of your wet clothes. Your heart beat out of your chest, your vision went black as your mind processed the sight.

"What the fuck, Namjoon?" you asked, yanking the basket from him. Tears came to your eyes as you looked down at the sopping wet clothes.

Namjoon's eyes widened at his words, having expected a snarky quip from you, he released his grip on the basket easily. Fishing for the quarters in his pocket, he held them out to you.

"God, I'm gonna get absolutely no sleep tonight," you said, shoving your half washed clothes back into the washer.

"Y/N?" he asked, his voice soft. "What's wrong?"

Once you'd restarted the washer, placing your body physically in front of it to block Namjoon from tampering with it once again, you eyed him.

"I'm only gonna get a few hours of sleep," you said, your voice surprisingly level. "My work clothes are in there." You leaned back against the washer, sighing as you looked down at the time on your phone.

"I-I'm--"

"Save it, Namjoon," you said. "Listen, I know we have this sort of relationship where we mess with each other. But, I'm really not in the mood for it tonight."

Namjoon tried to move towards you, but stopped himself, unsure of exactly what he was going to do or how he could help. He'd never seen you like this before. Dark circles around your eyes, your hair stringy and tousled from running your hands through it, and your posture so tense. Even though the lower half of your face was covered with a bright green mask, he could still make out your frown behind the fabric.

"Just le--" You were cut off by your phone's vibration.

Despite Namjoon having caused your distress, whoever kept calling you made your brow furrow and eyes water in a way that left Namjoon wanting to answer the phone and find out what they had done to you.

"Is everything okay?" he asked. "Who keeps calling you?"

Glancing down at the washer it had now moved onto the second cycle, you ignored. Meeting Namjoon's eyes, it hurt your chest to see the concern in them. After seeing you like this, after getting annoyed with him, he still worried about you.

"Just leave me alone, Namjoon."

✦✧✦✧

It was midnight on Wednesday night when the sound of yelling overtook the melody in his headphones. At first, he didn't think much of it. Many couples lived in the complex, and an occasional fight wasn't uncommon. Then, he heard your voice.

✦✧✦✧

"Jae-ho, what are you doing here? I told you you couldn't come."

"I just want to see you, baby." There was a softness in his voice, but it didn't reach his eyes. You'd been dodging his calls and texts for the past few days, hoping he would get the hint.

"Not until your test comes back negative," you said. "Plus, we really shouldn't be seeing each other that much. Especially since I'm still working."

Your boyfriend let out a long sigh and moved to walk inside. You blocked him, shutting the door slightly and wedging yourself in the gap. This only made him more frustrated, his hands reaching out to touch you.

You let him, allowing his hand to brush your own. You knew it was unlikely your boyfriend would get a positive result, his exposure limited and brief. But you couldn't risk it.

"Are you not scared of spreading it to me? To anyone?"

"I don't have it, babe. I've told you."

"You were still required to get tested. And since I see so many vulnerable people at work, I can't risk it." This wasn't the first time this was an issue. You'd been tested twice already. You job required you to come into contact with people all day, and more than a few confirmed cases had come through your pharmacy.

Jae-ho had had an issue those times too. Coming over when you'd told him not to, calling you until he got sick of dialing your number. You weren't sure how much longer you could take this.

"Are you cheating on me?"

The question lingered in the air as your mouth fell open in shock. Did he think that was the only reason you could not want to see him?

"No, of course not! I'm trying to protect you, Jae-ho!"

"I know you like that neighbor of yours. You still see him, don't you? Why do you see him and not me?"

"We're neighbors! This complex is so tiny, we can't help it!"

Your voice and his gradually rose with your emotions. You barely remember what either of you said after that, you only remembering sliding the promise ring off your finger and flinging it down the stairs.

✦✧✦✧

Namjoon walked down the stairs when he heard your door slam. He came upon your boyfriend, scoffing at your door. When he met the other man's eyes, Namjoon's immediately narrowed.

"Of course," Jae-ho said. He shook his head and walked down the stairs, pausing at the next landing. He bent down to retrieve something and Namjoon stopped focusing on the other man, reaching up to knock on your door.

Namjoon's knuckles didn't even make contact with your door before he heard footsteps coming up the stairs. Jae-ho stood a few steps down and held out the gold promise ring you always wore.

"Give this back to Y/N," he said. "I don't want it either."

He handed Namjoon the ring before turning around and leaving for good.

✦✧✦✧

"Y/N?" Namjoon's voice cut through the dark silence of your apartment. You'd everything outside, but not realized that it was Namjoon Jae-ho was talking to. "Are you okay?

You opened the door. You tried to wipe your tears before Namjoon could take in your figure, but it was fruitless. When your eyes met his, you saw his heartbreaking at the sight of you.

"I'm okay."

"No, you're not," Namjoon said, waiting for you to give the okay for him to enter your apartment. You knew that there was no hiding from Namjoon. The two of you literally lived on top of one another and saw each other almost daily when you did the laundry or took the trash out. There was nearly no way to avoid Kim Namjoon for long.

You moved aside and closed the door behind him. Flopping down on your bed, you looked up at him. "Sorry if we woke you up."

Namjoon shook his head. "You didn't."

"Sorry to interrupt your work then," you said, feeling like you owed the man an apology for more than just this one night. "I didn't mean for it to escalate like that."

Namjoon didn't say anything. He glanced around your apartment, sensing the way that his eyes on you made you uncomfortable.

"You don't need to apologize," he said. "For anything."

You stayed silent, hugging a pillow to your chest.

The silence wasn't tense, but it wasn't calm either. There was something lingering between you. Something keeping Namjoon in your apartment after making sure you were okay. And something that allowed you to let him in at all.

"You know, whenever I was upset or I had trouble sleeping. My mom would always make me milk and cookies. It seems counterintuitive that something sugary helped me sleep. But it never failed."

Namjoon left for his apartment for a moment, coming back with a package of chocolate chip cookies and two glasses of milk. He handed you one of the glasses and sat the package of cookies down beside you.

"Is it okay if I stick around? Just in case your boyfriend tries to come back," Namjoon said. He knew his explanation was flimsy. It was obvious when the man left that he did not intend on coming back.

"Yes," you said, reaching to pull out a cookie and dip it in the milk. "I'd like that."

The two of you ate in silence. Silence rarely occurred when you saw Namjoon, no matter how much he may want it to, but now, you could tell by the tension in his shoulders that it worried him.

"You know, I kinda look forward to hearing you every night," he said. "Lets me take a break from my work. Means I get to come see you."

You chuckled, smiling for the first time that night. "Why do you think I was always loud?" The crunch of a cookie filled your pause. "I knew you would always come complain."

✦✧✦✧

"I have a present for you, Y/N," Namjoon said.

It was the holidays now. Your family was far away and none of you wanted to get on a plane. It saddened you that you wouldn't be able to see your family, but Namjoon had become your solace. He'd usually hear when you got home and about ten minutes later, he'd appear at your door, asking what you were having for dinner that night. Most of the time, you ate together.

It was just like all those other nights, except you didn't have to work the next morning. Namjoon had met you by your door, takeout in hand, and a backpack slung over his shoulder.

Namjoon reached into his backpack and pulled out a wrapped package. The paper was a bit wrinkled, indicating he'd wrapped it himself. It made you smile.

"Oh, wait," you said, getting up and walking to the closet where you pulled out a similarly wrapped package. You handed it to him and looked down at his gift for you.

Tearing off the paper, you laughed when you noticed it was headphones. They were expensive too, which made your stomach turn thinking that he spent so much money on you.

"Open the box," he said, a smug smile on his face.

You ripped open the box, finding crumpled up paper. You felt around until you felt a thin object. Pulling it out. you found a CD.

"It's a mixtape. For you." Namjoon's eyes wandered around the room. "I--uh--hope you'll play it like you do One Direction."

You flung your arms around him, but he stopped you. "There's something else."

You looked down at the box quizzically before you began pulling out the paper. Reaching inside, you felt what you immediately recognized as a ring. Thoughts ran through your mind as you pulled it out.

It was your promise ring from Jae-ho, shinier than when you had last seen it. "He wanted me to give it back to you. But, I knew it might be painful. I had it cleaned and engraved for you."

You turned the ring to see the engraving on the inside: Be Loud - KNJ

guksthighs Interview

I, the interviewer, typically don’t interrupt at the beginning of the interview, but Jess is legit one of my favorite fan fiction writers of all time and I’m so honored that she took the time to speak with me. Anyway, onto the interview!

First off, can you start off by introducing yourself (whatever name you feel comfortable using) and telling us a little bit about yourself?

I’m Jess, an eighteen year old writer from the UK! I’ve been writing for BTS for a year and a half but supported them since the Boy in Luv era! I stan all seven boys ( but lean towards my angel child Kim Namjoon ) and when I’m not writing or doing schoolwork I’m usually doing some sort of sports! Also I just wanted to say thank you so much for asking to interview me, it is only such an honour that I’d make the cut!

Q1: Why did you first begin writing fan fiction? A1: I’ve always loved writing and the easiest way to share it and get people to read your work is to write for a fandom - well that was my ideology in the beginning. In reality, what’s kept me writing are the messages I receive every now and then ( from people like you ) that make me feel like the luckiest person ever and like I’m doing a decent job at writing!

Q2: You mainly write imagines/ preferences, but you do have a few series and longer pieces on your page. Do you prefer to write in shorter forms? A2: When I first started out writing, rather embarrassingly, my aim was to grow a following on Tumblr so I posted daily for the first few months and because shorter forms are faster to write I was able to continue that and now I am able to balance my life and writing easier. I’d love to write longer pieces but I’d prefer to publish a smaller piece weekly than work on a huge project!

I also have a lot of started and unfinished pieces which is more of a reflection of me - I’ve always had a huge imagination and am always planning the next idea but I do intend to start posting longer pieces soon! Q3: Have you written fan fiction for other fandoms? And/or before starting your current account? A3: I have! My first ever fan fiction was One Direction ( it’s deleted now - thank god - and on looking back I’m ashamed to say I used a plot for original characters to try and garner more reads - it worked ). I have a wattpad account ( jeonsthighs ) where I’ve completed a 50 chapter Haikyuu piece called An Angel’s Wings. Last I checked it had 125,000 reads and in summary is about a deaf volleyball player who overcomes her self taught ideology that relying on others makes you weak. I’ve also written for other anime fandoms; Fairy Tail and Kuroko No Basket, so I guess you could call me versatile ~ Q4: Do you write anything outside the realm of fan fiction? A4: I write columns for my school newspaper and have the honour of having written an article that has been used in a newspaper!

I used to write stories in school on scrap pieces of paper that would be passed around the class as I wrote them which encouraged me to share it online to try and spread more happiness!

These days I tend not to write any fiction outside of fan fiction due to the amount of work I have but I’m hoping after my exams I’ll be able to juggle my account and work on some ideas I’ve had for a while! Q5: Were you scared to begin posting your work online? A5: Surprisingly no! I’ve always written as a form of stress relief and mindfulness as I’m able to channel any negative emotions into words. So I wasn’t too worried about no one noticing me and am still surprised at the size my account has grown to. The only thing that scares me these days is someone I know finding my account and confronting me about *some* of the more mature content I’ve posted. Q6: Has writing fan fiction taught you anything? About writing? Reading? Yourself? A6: Fan fiction has taught me not to hide away from myself and all of my emotions and thoughts which means I’ve been able to deal with my depression and anxiety in a way I wouldn’t have done before. Often I write characteristics that reflect myself, often without meaning to and upon looking back on my work I notice the resemblance. Writing has been the best and most helpful form of mindfulness and by participating in publishing Fan fiction I am able to connect with others! ( Even if it has given me unrealistic expectations for dating TT )

Q7: What’s your favorite piece you’ve ever written? A7: I’ve thought about this question a lot and come to the cheesiest conclusion ever, even so I stand by it. Every work I publish is my favourite, they all reflect different parts of myself and have different journeys and memories to me and others. I do however have a special place for Golden Boy, a Park Jimin piece because it was my first ever embarking on a journey to write 10,000 words. Q8: Do you notice any stigma surrounding fan fiction or fan fiction writers? A8: That we’re crazed fans or disgusting. I feel authors are criticised for using real people in their work - which was the scariest thing for me as I was moving from the realm of anime and literal characters to writing about real living and breathing humans. However, I use the boys as characters for my writing, I am aware that everything I do is imaginary and do not think it’s likely to come true ( which is one of the reasons I prefer writing crazy alternate universes over more realistic pieces ) Another top stigma is that fan fiction writers are not talented which is rather hurtful. Oh! Also that we’re all perverts and write fifty shades of grey style pieces ( I know there are accounts out there that are nothing like that ... just maybe not mine aha )

Q9: If so, how do you feel about this stigma?

A9: It doesn’t bother me particularly, instead of going on long winded rants that will be skipped by people who believe these I try and be active in changing that stigma ( apart from the smut cus a girls gotta sin ). I’ve started my author recommendations list to support smaller accounts who are just starting up which has had an amazing reception and results!

Q10: What’s something you’ve never been asked but want to be? 

A10: Favourite book? Q11: Is Tumblr the site you prefer to post fan fic on? If so, why?

A11: Tumblr is my preferred site - to an extent. It is amazing for creating and talking to the blog family, as well as making friends. However, as I said earlier I’ve been in this fandom a long time and the recent surge of new fans has resulted in more arguments and fights that I don’t like seeing.

Q12: Do you ever want to be published in a professional capacity one day? A12: Yes! I’m hopefully going to university next year to study English Literature and hope to either go into journalism or publishing/editing. I’d love to be a published author but I’m happy to support others in accomplishing their dreams!

Thank you so much for interviewing me and letting me share my thoughts and journey as a BTS fan fiction writer! It’s an honour to be someone you wanted to interview and throughout the process you’ve been so kind ! I really would encourage everyone to try writing, whether it’s poetry, short drabbles or even thousands of words long chaptered pieces because you never know what your mind and imagination are capable of until you push them! Thank you again and happy reading!

Check out Jess’ amazing imagines and fan fiction on her Tumblr page guksthighs and on her Wattpad jeonsthighs! Once again, thank you, Jess!